Reddit’s Top 8 Life-Advice for People in Their 20s
What posts with thousands of upvotes had in common
I’m about to turn 21 and this is a weird age to be at.
While I’ve graduated, one of my friends is just a year into med school, another’s building a startup, and yet another recently got married. Did I mention the one that’s contemplating joining a monastery?
With 21 itself encompassing such a large gamut, the 20s is an entire universe.
And it isn’t easy to navigate. So, I did what any rookie Astronaut would do — turning to the veterans a.k.a people in their 30s and 40s.
And what better place to look for advice than Reddit? While a blog post or video is just one person spouting advice, forums like Reddit give you access to hundreds.
I dove in, expecting to see myriad different life lessons, but imagine my surprise to see the same few lessons rehashed. Here are the 8 top ones.
Just Ask
Be it the person who gets your heart beating like a drum or the pay raise you believe you deserve, things you desire won’t come flitting into your lap by themselves. You need to ask. Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back.
Even rejection is leagues better than the perennial regret and doubt of “What if?”.
As some Redditors’ anecdotes illustrate, this regret can sometimes be soul-crushing—meeting a college crush years later only to discover she’d also been into you, a undeserving candidate bagging a promotion you’d hesitated asking for.
And the worst one — the only person you’d ever genuinely liked, but hesitated to approach committing suicide.
Life is too short to keep playing the “What if I’d asked” scenarios on repeat in your head. So if you want something or someone, just ask — there’s nothing to lose but a lot to gain.
Avoid These Two Mistakes at All Costs
My fellow men, sex is great. The thrill of unprotected sex is great. Super-thin condoms feel great. But an unplanned baby is far from great.
The hundreds of Redditors whose unplanned pregnancies wrecked career and life plans concur. I had a close brush myself — discovering a broken condom post climaxing remains one of my most nightmarish memories to date.
The scariest part is that even the slightest amount of sperm, even pre-cum alone, can cause a pregnancy. Emergency contraceptives? Only 72–90% effective. Abortion? While pill-based methods are again only 90–95% effective, surgical ones are quite expensive and still not a 100% guarantee.
So if the odds really align against you, there’s nothing you can do to prevent a pregnancy.
Yes, sex-education 101 — that school didn’t deem important enough to give us. Now that I’ve (hopefully) scared the living lights out of you, the first mistake to avoid at all costs is — not using protection.
According to our Reddit veterans, the second big mistake is committing criminal offenses — not only major ones like murdering someone or robbing a bank, but also ones such as getting caught with drugs, drunken groping, and bloody physical brawls.
Time in prison, no matter how short, is an indelible mark on your life.
It sure is fun to stamp on the accelerator, get high, or exert your machismo, but only as long as it results in a speeding ticket, a Rick and Morty trip, or a battle of words.
Not when it becomes a hit-and-run, a police raid, or a bloody head-smashing session.
Exercise. Brush. Floss. Wear Sunscreen. Drink More Water. Don’t Eat Complete Sh*t.
I had an inkling there would health and hygiene-related advice, but the sheer volume was a surprise — especially the strong emphasis on flossing and sunscreen.
Turns out, it’ll feel all good and dandy now, but with age — creaking joints, pot bellies, wrinkly skin, and brown teeth creep in.
Hospital visits, especially the dentist ones, can be a pain in both the butt and wallet.
Not only Reddit anecdotes, but also research supports the incredible importance of these. Flossing prevents gum disease and plaque buildup. Sunscreen reduces the risk of skin cancer and delays skin wrinkles. Drinking more water improves your skin, greases the joints, aids digestion, improves your brain functioning, etc.
Exercise, though, has an entire gamut of benefits — heightened metabolism, stronger muscles, better hormones, reduced risk of heart disease, denser bones, slower aging, etc.
In fact, Redditors in their 40s that have been consistently exercising and eating mostly clean report feeling as agile and healthy as they had in their 20s.
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn
You Will F*ck Up, Many Times. Don’t Sweat Them
I don’t know if anything’s more heartening than being told by hundreds of older people that it’s completely normal to f*ck up, badly even.
I’ve made a ton of mistakes, some that make me shudder now. I still do. We all do. But it’s these mistakes that make us grow. In fact,
The more painful and embarrassing a f*ck up, the more it can push your growth.
And this is the age when we can actually get away with our mistakes. As one Redditor called the 20s — the age when you are adults but children still the same.
Be it a risky investment that goes wrong, or a miscalculated career move, you’d be able to recover from it easier as a 20-something bachelor than as a 30-something with kids, family, and responsibilities.
So let’s give ourselves permission to f*ck up — don’t sweat them and instead, learn and grow from them.
Save, Save, Save, Save.
This was legit there in almost every single post and for good reason — not saving and investing in your 20s will see you working like a mule even in your 50s.
This is because of the insane power of compounding — if you start saving and investing $100 at age 25 instead of 35, you’ll have twice as much money by age 65.
“Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it… he who doesn’t… pays it.”
— Albert Einstein
Having planned for early retirement, I save over 80% of what I earn. If you can’t save that much, it’s completely fine — just save whatever you can.
The general rule of thumb is at least 10% of your income, but since expenses are relatively lesser in your 20s, some say you should aim for 50%.
A crucial thing to note here is — save before spending and not the other way round. This is because it’s as easy to spend $1100 as it is to spend $1000.
You can automate this process by using Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) — a set amount debited from your bank account every month, fortnight, or week and invested into the instrument of choice.
Investing can seem complex, but trust me, it’ll get easier with time. Here’s an excellent guide to get you started.
What to Really Look for In a Long-Term Romantic Partner
In a long-term relationship, it’s not a nicely shaped butt, but the other person’s values, beliefs, and qualities that should matter the most.
Sure, as a proud “ass man”, I’d be the first to be turned on by a plump butt, but butts don’t last. Neither do breasts, perfect skins, or lush black hair. Brains and behaviors do. As a Redditor quipped,
“Beauty fades. Dumb is forever.”
But a super-smart intellectual that turns down your boner isn’t the answer either. Physical attractiveness matters, but it's not everything. It’s all about the balance.
A smart and cheerful “girl next door” would be a much better long-term partner than an arrogant and manipulative supermodelesque woman with zero personality.
“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”
— Franz Schubert
Don’t Postpone Your Dreams
If not asking someone out was the biggest regret, perpetually postponing their dreams and slaving away at a job they hated was the second.
While the minority backed the extremes of either a completely stable career or throwing it all up to chase your dreams, most had a more balanced view:
Focus on your career, but keep your dreams alive. Work on them on the side and make the switch when you feel confident.
Start working on your dreams right now and whenever something sparks your interest, start it right away. Had I postponed writing my first article, I wouldn’t be contemplating a full-time writing career today.
“I’ll start tomorrow” is the biggest lie we tell ourselves — Tomorrow never arrives and before you know it, life speeds by.
So start today, start now.
Build Quality Relationships and Cut out Unfulfilling Ones
It took me a toxic relationship and years of being part of poisonous and fake friend groups to realize this — quality > quantity in relationships.
Reddit folks advising the same has only increased my conviction in this. In fact, the longest-running happiness study has revealed that:
Deep and meaningful relationships contribute the most to our happiness.
Run a quality check on the people in your life by asking yourself, “How do they make me feel?”
If the answer is along the lines of disappointed, miserable, uncomfortable, or inadequate, give them the boot. Because of the negativity bias, even the slightest toxicity can scar us. So don’t entertain any.
Instead, surround yourself with like-minded, genuine, and positive people that truly wish for your well-being.
