4 Steps to Turn Fears in Writings Inspirations
Scared to write and publish as a newbie writer? — Magic wonders of life: a writer experience
“Courage is not to be fearless, but to face fear heads on and, despite trembling in fear, pretending it’s excitement!” — written in a shaky handwriting by an unknown writer (yet). (Lilie Kaizen)
A writing challenge
Ask more from yourself than you ask from others
Have you ever faced a situation where you really wanted to encourage someone dear to your heart to accomplish what seems to them an impossible task? And when you did, they replied asking how you can push them to do so, when you aren’t able to do it yourself?
That’s what happened to me as my life partner needed to write his master thesis. This was a small task of 15,000 words, on top of both our regular jobs crazy schedules, our little baby, and one of our grandparents currently receiving palliative care.
So, when he looked discouraged in front of that monster task, I told him enthusiastically my magic-always-optimist words: “You can do it!” I received an angry snap back: “How can you say that when you always say that you want to be a writer but never publish any of your writings!”
Touché.
A far fetch reason to write
“How dare you shut me up when I’m trying my best to help you!” I thought while biting my lips tight. My pride was pricked. Not that I have much anything to be proud of as a writer wanna-be. So, my irritation was short-time. But I really took it personally: “You want to challenge me? Great, challenge accepted! See me fake it, until I make it!” Evidently, as any good introverted writer, I yelled those words… in the silence of my crazy beating heart.
To the outside world, I calmly replied: “Okay, I will write and publish 15,000 words, just like your master thesis.”
There. Those sentences were out of my mouth. Impossible to take them back now. As soon as that statement settled in my soul, the voice in my mind started to rattle like crazy: “You? A writer? You have no background, no experience. Where are you even going to start? What do you even have to publish about? Dream on, you eternal wanna-be writer!”
Panic started to crunch my stomach and sweat dripped on my back. Ah, that’s how it feels to be facing a task so humongous that you don’t know even where to start. That was what my life partner was feeling. Suddenly, I felt more compassionate. However, I wasn’t going to back down on my words.
That’s how I got myself into this current situation, trying to write and publish 15,000 words before my partner finishes his master thesis. And make a writer of myself by this process.
Only, there is one little issue that keeps nagging me. I have a phobia. A phobia of a button on which was printed a single word: “Publish”.
Why it is scary to write and publish
Ok, first, we need to acknowledge the fear, before we can face it. Writing is scary not only because other people will see your thoughts, but because you will see your own thoughts outside of your protected mind. At the instant those body-less thoughts step into the physical world, they get a life of their own: have you ever reread the sentence you just wrote and realized it wasn’t exactly what you thought it would be?
That was for writing. Now, about publishing. Publishing means making your personal creations public for others to see. It means the possibility to be acknowledged as a writer. With this comes the “imposter” syndrome.
As long as you don’t publish, nobody will ever know what those dreams sleeping in you, those thoughts longing to step into reality. Nobody will ever know what you dreamed one day to live as a “writer”.
Publishing means declaring to the whole world: “Here I am, here are some thoughts that I am sharing with you. Here I walk on this earth as a writer. Ridicule me if you want, but those words are already born. They live their own life, of their own rights. What rights do I have to restrict their existence once they have started to exist?
They came to this world through me, but they don’t belong to me. And they will go far beyond me. Like a parent, I need to learn to let those children walk their own path. No matter if I tremble in fear for them, I shall see them until the “and” that I can’t predict.” This is what I am declaring black on white each time I will publish, from the other side of the pen, shaking like a leaf in the wind.
To be scared to write and publish, a feeling we should be grateful for
To be scared to write and publish is useful because it makes us prudent. A feeling we should be grateful for, as words are wild and powerful. They leave space for imagination, interpretation, miscommunication. They are the mean by which thoughts become immortalized and also become mortal. How can other people, or yourself, kill those thoughts, if they weren’t put down on paper? You could simply pretend they have never existed in the first place. But if they were written, you can’t lie to yourself anymore that someone, at least, had those thoughts.
How is your writer's dream more important to you than the fear of putting it on paper with your name?
How to face your fear of writing and publishing
Step 1: Find leverage
To make a change, you first have to find leverage to do so. Ideally, find something that is charged with emotions, that touches your core. In fact, it doesn’t need to be ideal. Just raw, even stupid, reason. The only criteria: it makes your heart beat faster.
For me, I found it when my life partner unknowingly taunted me into uptake the challenge of becoming a writer and publishing my creations. To the rest of the world, it may sound ridiculous, but to me, it was the little drop of water that made my glass overflow. Because it means a lot to me, it makes me want to change. It makes it a “must” for me to change. Otherwise, I will not be able to look at myself in the mirror.
It’s one thing to see in the reflection a “terrified writer”. It’s another to see a “person who is only pretty words and no action”. Change the words you use, change the perception and thus, change the reality you see. Feel free to twist your thoughts as much as you need to find the motivation to reach your goals. In the end, only you see what you see when you look at your reflection. That is, until you put into words and publish it for the rest of the world to read about.
Making your declaration of change public is a great way to make yourself accountable. Put it in writing. Then, those words are there, looking at you with curious eyes: what are you doing to do now? And there, let those words free, share them with others. And see where they lead you. Don’t let them down. Don’t let yourself down. Pick up the pace. You will be surprised.
What is your reason to write? Do you have a hidden motive that gives you the courage to step forward as a writer? What’s your reason to lie down words and underwrite your stories?
Having a “must” is the first step on your way to overcoming your phobia and becoming a writer…
Step 2: Make it painful
It’s so easy to procrastinate and find excuses: no time, no energy, no inspiration, no motivation. The list goes on and on, as vast as your imagination… Oh there, did you suddenly find yourself creative? Here are some more: no talent, no experience, no background, no knowledge, etc. Welcome to the world of the wanna-be writer!
Joke aside, we need to make this world of excuses to not act, so painful that it will be impossible for you to stay put. So hurtful that the torture of not doing it is worse than your fear of cliquing on that silly button called “Publish”.
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” — Jim Rohn
If you don’t write and publish, what will happen? In my case: the words, the voice, the world inside me will die with me. Dead. The end. Why? Because I was too scared to share? Because of my fears, this world that I am seeing is going to die without ever being shared? Can I face this responsibility? No way! I might not be able to give it justice all the time. I’ll be criticized, judged, and maybe outcast, but it will never diminish the beauty of what lived inside of me, the miracles that I want to share, the imaginary made reality.
I’m not sure why I want to write. I’m not sure for whom I want to write. I’m not sure what exactly I want to write. But I know something inside of me, a passion asking so desperately to live through those words I am lying down. Seeing it die, killing it of my own hand because I didn’t have the guts to face my fear, that thought, that responsibility is too painful. I need to do something. Anything would be better than just staying in the status quo leading to a slow death.
So how are you going to push yourself out of your lethargy? What nightmares of past, present or future regrets are secretly hunting you? What do you need to tell yourself to burn the boats and conquer the new world?
Step 3: Make it mesmerizing
Now that you are ready to step into action, what to do?
Make that dream of your so big, so bright that you can’t stay still, that you have to strive for it, that is pulling you toward it. Exaggerate, think bigger than you ever thought, even in your wildest dreams. So far away from your reality that it is definitely impossible to reach, but it is still dear to your heart. That dream has survived in you until now, it has persevered despite your self-doubts. Then, what do you have to lose to try to reach this mesmerizing reality?
Why, for whom and what do you want to write? Where is that person who needs to read those thoughts I am sharing? A person whose destiny will be changed because of the words I wrote and shared? Even if there is only one, shouldn’t I do everything in my power to reach that person? Who knows, if it isn’t that spineless writer that I saw in the mirror? Who knows, if it isn’t you?
Step 4: Anchor it into your daily life
We all start in the same place: no money, no resources, no contacts, no experience. The difference is that some people — the winners — choose to start anyway. — James Clear
Now, not writing and publishing now appears to you like an absolute nightmare that you need to run from. And becoming a writer is The absolute dream to be reached. How are you going to go from one to the other? The road is certainly tortuous, with many pitfalls. The only way? One step at a time.
Every chef-d'oeuvre that has ever been written started as a thought. But it came to life as the writer put his pen on the paper, not once, but again and again.
You don’t need to write the perfect article or book on your first try. In fact, perfection is the “lowest standard anyone can have” because it can never be reached (Tony Robbins). Get over it. Share, get criticized, get turned down, learn, modify, get better.
More than anything, the most important thing is to show up every day in front of your writing device. Even if it is only to write one sentence, to change a single comma. Create that habit to nurture the writer in you. One sentence at the time.
Moreover, you are not alone on this road. You are never alone, as your readers and fans are there, eager to look above your shoulder to see what they were desperately needed to read from you. Don’t let them down. Don’t let yourself down. And literally, walk the talk of becoming a writer.
That’s how you transform your fears of writing into your sources of inspiration as a writer.
Happy writing!
Every chef-d’oeuvre that has ever been written started as a thought. But it came to life as the writer put his pen on the paper, not once, but again and again.
Afterthought: So, ready to overcome your writing and publication phobia with these life hacks? At least, that’s how I am doing, now a publishing-phobic in recovery, at 50% of my writing master objective of 15,000 words :) (yes, I started a 6% of my objective when I first wrote this article, but as this is the 15th version of this article, so I published a few others in the meantime…) Please share your own experience with this issue, we are in this together :)
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PSS: Special thanks to Alexander Boswell who commented on the very first draft of a related article that inspired this one but got transformed so many times that it has nothing to do with it anymore. Somehow, something better came out in the process :)