4 Simple Ways to Recognize and Break Free from Toxic Positivity

What would you pick — the glass half full, half empty, or just half?

What would you pick — the glass half full, half empty, or just half?

For ages, we are listening to the rant of positivity. Optimists adore their thinking style, shrugging aside the pessimists or realists. But beliefs, whether positive or negative, can’t get you anywhere.

Everybody has slapped the slogan of ‘positive thinking.’ No doubt it gives hope. But only positivity can do nothing. We require actions to change our scenarios.

Last year I was talking to my neighbor about the coronavirus. She said, “Nothing would happen. Think positively.” I am not against positivity. But brushing aside the practical aspect of any problem in the name of positiveness is an absurdity.

The problem lies in keeping your eyes shut. When the situation demands preparation, you are busy procrastinating it in terms of negativity.

When my best friend, Fauzan’s father, got COVID, I warned Fauzan to take necessary precautions timely and be alert for any slightest deterioration. Instead, he brushed aside that nothing would happen. He took precautions but was not proactive in getting care. This led him to ICU, where he lost his battle for life. Of course, there were many other reasons, but I can’t deny that he lazed on taking care of his health when he could.

While he was in the hospital, I hoped Fauzan would come out healthy because I could do zilch other than being positive. But he could have done when the time was right and ripe.

Being pragmatic differs from any thinking pattern. It means to prepare for the future. Understand the limitations beforehand. Then, take action to go beyond your limits.

The Magic of Positivity Wand, Can Not Make Your Problems Vanish

A fortnight ago, my brother moved to Delhi for his job. Being the epicenter of covid 2nd wave, people are still reeling from its shock. However, doctors have warned of the 3rd wave. When I told my brother to get vaccinated promptly, he replied, “Nothing will happen, don’t be so negative.”

But, unfortunately, this callous behavior does not show his positivity but carelessness and abject ignorance. People have lost their family members and have seen the worse. Just because he did not witness it does not mean it was not there.

People choose to remain disillusioned. They ignore the obvious facts due to a mixture of fear and laziness. Wrapping it under the decorative paper of positivity does not make any beautiful.

It satisfies many people to remain in their sanctuary. Any disruption in routine irritates them. So they avoid going out of their comfort zone by explaining to themselves — everything is ok; they require no extra measures. This habit leads to spiraling down the current circumstance.

The illusion of positive thinking can not remove the problem. But it creates more complications. It may look lovely from the outside, but deep down, fear and anxiety remain.

Analyzing Your Weakness Helps You to Improve

Harsh criticism, disappointment at work, or a judgmental sentence by a well-wisher can bog you down. There is no need to give priority to every statement. But recognize your flaws. It helps you progress forward.

I type slow. My posts take time to structure and format. I know this. Positive thoughts will not make me type fast. But practically finding a solution and my consistency to go out of my comfort zone will.

You may conceal your problem in positivity, but its existence remains. Hope is a good thing. But justifying your inactions in the guise of some beliefs is a foolish way to live.

Assessment of actions and beliefs can help in your improvement. See your deficiencies and work upon them. An open mind can see its faults, but a closed mind can never.

Open up. Learn to pick your battles. Don’t let harsh words demotivate you. Instead, choose what needs to be improved. Then, let those words guide you.

How to Progress From Belief to Action Mode

Beyond the land of negativity and positivity, there is a realm of realism. Reality requires actions. With no action, your beliefs are redundant. Only your actions can cause the change, not opinions.

Realism is about perceiving a situation with an open eye. Even in a grim situation, you can keep calm once you know you did whatever you could. It is only possible when you genuinely work with reality and not against it.

#1. See the underlying cause of your positivity/negativity.

Not only pessimists but optimistic people are also fearful. Fear blinds both of them. In their anxiety, they choose to ignore the facts that require their prompt actions.

Most people distract themselves when fear overpowers them. Sometimes, anxiety is reasonable. We as humans have survived because of it. Use this survival tool!

Your fear is a warning. So many times, the mind makes the story to be fearful. Don’t confuse thoughts with facts. In Fauzan’s or my brother's case, COVID is not a thought but a fact.

A 2018 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people felt sadder when they were expected to conceal such emotions.

Be truthful to recognize your fear. Provide those emotions an outlet. Don’t hold them back in the heart. If your efforts can help you overcome them, then do it. Otherwise, let those unnecessary thoughts go.

Your perception of the world is not necessarily the same as what is actually occurring. — Peter Ralston

#2. Take decisions based on facts.

Weigh the facts. And then decide.

Researchers have pointed out that both pessimists and optimists make bias decisions. These biases cloud your judgment and lead to a wrong decision.

In a crisis, it is imperative to make a rational analysis. Practically evaluate the options. It gives an accurate parameter for you to decide. Factual information helps to arrive at a correct decision.

Dr. Chris Dawson, Associate professor in Business economics in Bath’s school of management, “We see that being realistic about your future and making sound decisions based on them can bring a sense of wellbeing, without having to immerse in relentless positivity.”

The war is not between positive or negative opinions. But it is about hiding behind those thoughts. You don’t need to be brimming with positivity to decide anything. A practical approach would do. Challenge your anxious thinking.

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.― Theodore Roosevelt

#3. Act while you still can.

Need to look out for another job, wanted to buy a house, wished you could talk to an old friend — Do it. Don’t let your comfort zone inhibit you from executing actions. Go beyond thoughts to act. It requires an approach with calculated risks.

I would be stupid to think the best time to write a post is tomorrow. Right now, and right here, when I have time, is the best time to complete tasks.

Planning is good. But work on that plan. If you are fearful, take baby steps. But make sure you do at least a small portion of it.

If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward. — Martin Luther King

#4. Take full responsibility for your life.

Take full responsibility — whether you want to procrastinate or to evade. It helps to shift the blame from outside circumstances to you.

My friend’s father is struggling with final-stage cancer. Doctors have informed them he has few days left. Disheartened, they are still trying for a second opinion in a different hospital.

When you take full responsibility for your life, you become free from the guilt of nonaction.

Not just situations determine life, but how you deal with these situations. It indeed reveals inner integrity. Your life is the culmination of your choices.

Actions stem from a practical approach. Keep your positive attitude and work on what you need to do. The best way positive thoughts can help is when you combine them with your efforts.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. — George Bernard Shaw

Takeaways

In life, it is necessary to have a positive outlook. But just a viewpoint can never make you reach anywhere.

Keep the attitude to solve the problem. Life will throw curvy balls, don’t dodge them. Be truthful and see beyond your beliefs. Decide based on facts. Take full responsibility for your life and act.

There is no substitute for action. Do not hide inside the false cocoon of positivity.

Living a responsible life is the highest form of respect for oneself. In terms of health, money, peace, or freedom, it all depends on you. Positivity does not only mean positive thoughts but also doing the best while you still can.

Take action! An inch of movement will bring you closer to your goals than a mile of intentions. — Steve Maraboli.