4 Out-of-the-Ordinary Compliments That Can Truly Flatter Someone

Life can be hard; why not make it a little bit more special for someone you love?

A heartfelt compliment can often feel like a helping hand. It can boost our motivation when we feel like quitting, help us push through nightmare-inducing days, and remind us we’re special to someone out there.

But there’s a catch.

When trite and vague, compliments can harm instead of soothe. Despite the complimenter’s best intentions, our self-doubt often raises alarms that make us question the compliment’s validity. Instead of feeling flattered, we wonder about the complimenter’s agenda.

It’s no wonder, then, that a recent study concluded that the most flattering type of praise is specific. When complimenting, pinpointing what truly makes someone stand out from the crowd is like offering evidence that drowns the receiver’s inner critic.

Most importantly, it makes people feel seen, which is the best type of compliment in itself.

That said, if you don’t know how to start making your compliments more specific, I’ve listed four that have blown my mind and brightened my days. By far, these are the best compliments I’ve ever received. And after including them in my “compliment repertoire”, I’ve also made people I love smile from ear to ear.

Hopefully, they’ll feel like a helping hand to your loved ones as well.

“That Says a lot About how…”

The other day I reached out to a coworker because her mother was sick. Her response shook me.

“Thank you for asking,” my coworker texted back. “That says a lot about how thoughtful you are.”

Had she only replied with the initial thank you, it would’ve already been specific enough. But her response stuck with me for months because of the second phrase. With it, she elevated me as a person. She reminded me I’m good and thoughtful, which is something beautiful to do in a world where we often only share ugly news and gossip.

What shocked me the most, though, was that I didn’t question my coworker’s claim. Though I normally snort in disbelief when someone calls me “thoughtful” (courtesy of my inner critic), since my coworker also mentioned the exact action she appreciated (me inquiring after her mother’s health), my self-doubt evaporated.

After her text, I felt like Mother Theresa.

“You Walk the Talk.”

It’s no secret that many people like to “talk the talk” but never “walk it”. That’s why complimenting someone when they actually come through can feel exhilarating.

Keeping promises can be hard, so when you tell someone, “You walk the talk” (after they’ve done it, of course), they’ll feel rewarded and valued. Like before, they’ll feel good about themselves because their inner critic won’t be able to counter your evidence-based compliment.

But it’s more than that.

According to a recent study, moral outrage combined with action is attractive to long-term relationship seekers. In other words, when someone acts upon their convictions, they become irresistible.

By praising someone’s “walk-the-talkiness”, you’re essentially making them feel good and sexy.

“They Must Be Very Proud of You for…”

Whether we admit it or not (and despite its disadvantages), we often crave someone’s validation. A parent. A sibling. A friend. A boss. No matter whom, there’s someone out there whose approval can brighten or ruin our days.

Once you know someone well, you can tell who their validation-kryptonite is, and you can use that knowledge to help them feel better when they’re experiencing both highs and lows. By saying, “they (insert here whatever name or names) must be very proud of you for…,” you encourage the other person to think about their positive qualities and deeds.

Most importantly, you remind them they’re enough.

Plus, if you know everyone involved intimately, you can take this up a notch (as long as it’s sincere, of course). For example, I spoke with my sister the other day about how I sometimes feel like a disappointment because I chose to teach and write over my engineering career.

“You’re wrong.” My sister shook her head. “Mom is proud of you. She’s told me several times.”

I still feel high after that conversation.

“It Means a Lot Coming From You.”

One of the many reasons I love my husband is that he’s constantly making me feel special and good and beautiful and smart.

The other day, we were talking about philosophy (we’ve spent too much time together during the pandemic), and he shared some brilliant insight he’d had after he read an article.

“That’s clever,” I told him after I rephrased what he’d said.

“Thanks.” My husband beamed, his chest puffed. “It means a lot coming from you.”

I blinked. “From me? What?”

My husband grabbed my hand. “When someone smart tells you you’re smart, you feel Einstein-level smart.” (I told you my husband is amazing.)

By responding to someone’s compliment by saying it feels doubly special because of who they are, you’ll lift their mood for a day. Heck, a month.

Make Someone Feel Special Today

Life can be hard. There will always be moments and comments that mine our self-esteem. There will always be people determined to put us down. So why not make an extra effort and offer an out-of-the-ordinary compliment to someone you love?

It will make the other person feel special and lift your mood. After all, the examples mentioned above share one crucial quality: gratitude, a well-documented practice that enhances our well-being and decreases negative emotions.

By using these four compliments, you’ll brighten a loved one’s day — and your own.