At 86 Years Old, My Great-Grandmother Found Herself With a Newborn Baby

This is the life-changing Lesson she taught me.

Güita, my great-grandmother, wasn’t long for this world. During her eighties, she was obese, and, though she’d already had two heart strokes, she refused to improve her diet and exercise routine. At most, the doctors gave her a couple of years.

However, not only did she live to celebrate her 100th birthday, but, during her nineties, she lost the excess weight, hosted weekly family gatherings, and spoke fluent French.

Unfortunately, her tipping point was a tragedy: the death of her youngest daughter, Antonieta.

Throughout her life, Antonieta was a ray of light. Always joyful, she pursued a career in acting, traveled the world in her free time, and afterward decided to get pregnant.

The doctors said it wouldn’t be easy. Not only was she nearing her forties, but she had diabetes. Still, Antonieta pushed ahead. She wanted to become a mother.

And she did.

The first two trimesters of her pregnancy went smoothly; things got complicated at the end. Ten days after giving birth, she died of an infection. Ten days she spent cuddling her baby boy.

The ten happiest days of her life.

Antonieta had been right: She was meant to be a mother, even if only for a brief time.

Güita was crushed. Mothers shouldn’t outlive their children, yet she had already buried two. Three was too much, too devastating. Her remaining family thought she would die of grief.

They were wrong.

Güita adopted Antonieta’s baby. At 86 years old, she became the mother Antonieta wanted for her son. She gave him shelter, food, and love. When her weight became a nuisance, she changed her diet and exercise routine, improving her health and vitality. No matter what, that baby boy would have everything he needed.

Diego, Antonieta’s son, grew to be a joyful, passionate boy like his mother. And when he no longer needed Güita, she passed away, a smile on her face.

Everyone Needs a Purpose

Throughout Diego’s childhood, I was an oblivious adolescent. Yes, I was heartbroken for Antonieta and Güita, but I didn’t think too much about why my great-grandmother had a sparkle in her eyes.

It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I understood her life-changing lesson about purpose.

Having recently moved to Barcelona, I was a husk of my former self. A year before I’d been at my parent’s home, financially and emotionally sheltered. And though many of my friends had already emigrated due to the harsh Venezuelan reality, I still had plenty, as well as a boyfriend.

Though I had no future in Venezuela, I was happy — or as happy as you can be when you can get kidnapped or murdered every time you leave your house.

Encouraged by my family, I moved to Barcelona, where I had no friends, no boyfriend, and no daily lunches with my mother.

The loneliness was excruciating. Though I had a job that paid the bills, it required working for more than twelve hours every day.

For my college graduation, I returned one last time to Venezuela, my tipping point. There I met with my great-grandmother, vibrant, energetic, whereas I found it hard to smile.

Curiosity overcame me. Why was Güita so excited every day? What could I learn from my great-grandmother?

When I saw Diego hugging her, the answer was clear: She had a purpose. It was up to her to care for her grandchild. She had a reason to wake up every day, a reason to exercise, a reason to trade ice cream for broccoli (the willpower!).

Intrigued, I read Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. After learning about his grueling experiences in a concentration camp, one thing became clear: Everyone needs a purpose. Without it, we wither away. Without it, we can never feel happiness.

And so my quest for purpose began.

The Keys to Purpose: Growth and Contribution

How can I fill my life with purpose? What is my purpose?

Those questions haunted me for months after meeting with Güita. Little did I know that seeking a purpose was already a purpose because it was linked to my growth.

Having grown up reading fantasy books, I assumed a worthwhile purpose had to be grand, world-changing, and passion-filled. Save a kingdom. Slay a dragon. Have a family. Build a company from scratch. Write a book.

Save the world.

Though all are purposes, they’re big and oftentimes intimidating. If anything, believing I needed to work toward something so big kept me paralyzed.

It wasn’t until I read Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within that I realized purpose doesn’t need to be big to be meaningful. Though we are the heroes of our stories, our quest doesn’t have to be about saving the world. It just needs to satisfy our spiritual needs: growth and contribution.

According to Robbins, we have six core human needs or drivers for our behavior: certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection, which are ego-based; and growth and contribution, the crux of Güita’s lesson, the keys to happiness and fulfillment.

If we don’t grow, if we don’t feel like we’re better than yesterday, we won’t be happy. But if our goals are selfish, then achieving them will only make happiness fleeting.

And what purpose is there more worthwhile than finding happiness?

Grow and Give

After reading Robbins’ book (regardless of the controversy that surrounds him), my mind circled back to Güita. By taking care of Diego, she was giving and growing. This was why she woke up every day energized, why she hosted weekly family gatherings, why she exercised and improved her diet.

Caring for Diego made my great-grandmother a hero.

Inspired, I delved into personal development. Finding and implementing new ways to improve my life gave joy and meaning to my days. And when my now-husband had hip surgery, taking care of him filled me with peace.

Like Güita, my mission to grow and give isn’t world-changing, but it is fulfilling.

Remember: Though everyone needs a purpose, a reason to get out of bed, it doesn’t have to be grand or driven by a soul-consuming passion. Focus on becoming a little bit better every day — whatever this means for you — and consider giving to someone else, which can be as easy as smiling to a stranger.

You have a purpose.

Grow and give.