4 Essential Life Lessons I Learned From My Communist Parents

Everybody could make use of

Short Disclaimer: Before I get blacklisted next to other public enemies: my parents were born and raised in the GDR (the communist east of Germany after WWII). They weren’t die-hard communists themselves.

Still, they learned in all good and bad ways what it meant to live in a communist state. And although they left the GDR a year before the Berlin Wall fell, much of their mindset remained unchanged.

Ironically, in a world more capitalistic than ever before, a bit more of a communist mindset can help us all. Here are 4 essential life lessons I learned from them that helped me to navigate life:

We are all humans

Which boils down to treating others like you want to be treated.

My parents made a strong point in telling my siblings and me that we should never think we’re better than others.

But they also didn’t forget to mention that we never need to kneel in front of people with a “higher” status. Why? Because we’re all human beings with individual needs, desires, aspirations, fears, goals, and dreams.

In this, you and me are the same.

We might look differently, and unfortunately, many governments, laws, clubs, regimes, dictators, and other bad people or their organizations try to divide us, but finally, we are all human.

No matter your age, weight, height, skin color, pronouns, sexuality, religion, and what else there might be.

But let’s be honest: people do weird things if you act this way.

They seem to be irritated. Because after experiencing down-talking or praising all their lives, they can’t wrap their head around someone seeing the human in them.

“Why’s this guy with a higher status treating me so well?” or “Why’s this guy with a lower status treating me like I was the same?”

Hint: you are.

Does this mean I always get it, right? Of course not. I’m human myself, after all. But it means I eventually always remember that we’re all the same.

That’s how we’re supposed to treat others.

Help the community if you can

Communism was all about togetherness.

It was just part of daily life to help others if they needed help. Sometimes, the state would even force you to help others.

That’s why parents made a habit of helping others.

Picture this: It’s the early 1990s, and my parents had just moved to Stuttgart after living a couple of months in a sort of guesthouse right after migrating to Western Germany. They both got jobs as facility managers, which came with a house.

A huge walnut tree was next to this house, right between my parents and their neighbors. Although it was beautiful, it threw too much shade, so everyone agreed: it needed to get cut (yes, back then, you could cut a tree without getting punished).

My parents volunteered to cut the tree.

Their neighbors agreed, and eager to save money, they asked how much my parents wanted. My parents told them they’d do it for free.

The neighbors were surprised, even shocked. They asked my parents: “Why would you do something like that for free?” My parents responded: “We all profit from it; why shouldn’t we?”

Their neighbors couldn’t wrap their heads around this attitude.

But it was deeply ingrained in my parents. In the GDR, you could always rely on others to help you. No matter if they got something in return.

Maybe they did it for good karma or something, but they’d help you.

Funnily enough, the only time I’ve seen this behavior these days was when the world stood still. Meaning during COVID-19, the Ukrainian-Russian war, or lately when Munich got hit by more than one foot of snow overnight.

Helping others is easy, yet fulfilling. Why can’t we make it a daily habit to help where possible?

Maybe even for free.

Be grateful for what you have

It’s true: people in the GDR queued for hours to get a couple of bananas. Why? Because they were sought-after and rare.

Yes, that’s ridiculous. But this harsh reality also taught my parents:

Be grateful for what you have.

Which didn’t mean we lived in poverty. We had a good living standard, but we couldn’t compete with people going skiing once or twice a year.

It didn’t matter because my parents were reasonable about what they gave us and what we did as a family. This helped us put things into perspective, and we learned how to appreciate what we had early on.

I didn’t know back then, but this is a superpower in a world constantly striving for more and more. Why? Because it’s easy to get trapped thinking we don’t have enough.

But appreciating what you have can help you overcome this thinking.

At some point, you might ask yourself: More for what?

That’s why my parents valued the only resource you can’t renew so much: time.

Whenever I ask them what they wish for, they say: time with you and your siblings.

We have more than enough material stuff; we need to realize it.

Importance of having your opinion

In a regime focused on controlling public opinion, it’s easy to lose your own.

That’s why my parents raised us with the idea: “Form yourself an opinion on something before you accept or deny it.”

This is a powerful principle to follow.

Nowadays, it’s easy to get sucked into the trap of populist media, telling you whom to love and whom to hate. Here, you’re in danger of losing your opinion, too.

That’s why it’s so important to form your own independent opinion.

However, this comes with another lesson:

Sometimes, it’s better to say: “I’m sorry, I don’t have an opinion on that.” instead of agreeing or disagreeing because of others. That isn’t easy.

That could get you in a lot of trouble back in the GDR.

But it’s also the only way to stay true to yourself.

What’s left to say? First, I love my parents (yes, they know). Second, I’m convinced that although these 5 lessons have sometimes hindered me in an overly capitalistic world because I was too naive, they helped me form strong relationships with others and stay humble.

For that, I’m grateful.