Soaring Humor

Trump ‘Crybaby Balloon’ Added To NYC Thanksgiving Day Parade

Chubby, orange, and diaper-clad, comical blimp is expected to delight parade crowd ahead of 2024 election year

Organizers for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade announced this week that the infamous, 20-foot Trump blimp has been added to their roster of floating attractions.

Bulbous, orange-hued, and nappy-clad, with a hay-colored bouffant, the new addition soaring over the parade route is expected to be a crowd-rouser.

“We anticipate rotten eggs and tomatoes being thrown at it when it travels down Broadway, and we’re ready for that,” said Parade Marshal Emily LaPrade. “Crowd participation is something we encourage, so this just heightens the excitement.”

Long Island resident Bob Whitehead, who has been bringing his family to the parade since 2005, said he was delighted that the “Crybaby Balloon” will be part of his holiday ritual.

“We already know Trump’s a windbag, so this overly-inflated balloon perfectly captures the essence of the whiny, angry blowhard,” said Whitehead. “We’re already getting our eggs ready so they’ll be nice and putrid. Eggs are easy for the grandkids to throw and it’s basically a nonviolent act, giving me a chance to teach them about peaceful political protest.”

Parade Marshal LaPrade said she’s been getting requests from up and down the East Coast to borrow the Trump “Crybaby Balloon” after its appearance in the NYC parade. “Looks like a lot of groups want to float it over courthouses where Trump will appear throughout the year to underline the heights of his criminality. We’re happy to oblige.”

Trump’s 2024 campaign staff issued a brief statement about the new balloon’s parade appearance. “The former president is delighted to see WWF wrestler Ric Flair added to the Thanksgiving Day parade. Great honor. Congratulations, Ric!”

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