Why I Had To Block You

It began with an article about my ethnicity and ended with me blocking a long time follower

I had to block you today.

Your self-righteousness has become a tad overbearing. In case you hadn’t noticed the world is not painted in stark shades of black and white.

It may be empowering for you to say the things you say but it doesn’t necessarily come across that way to your readers.

But then again who am I preaching to? Someone who doesn’t believe in reciprocation on Medium because you consider it a form of and I quote ‘manipulation?’

My friend, you have to remember no one is forcing you to do anything on this platform — reciprocation or otherwise.

FYI: In the grand scheme of things, particularly on Medium, we are not as important as we think we are and the momentary high one gets from acting holier than thou is just that — momentary self-gratification.

What does it gain you in the long run? One less follower for sure and the goodwill and support that goes with that one follower. Not that you care, I’m sure.

It is certainly not the way to gain friends or supporters or success on this platform but then again you claim that is not your aim.

Na so?

Yes, I have become a popular writer and am trying out new things on this platform. Don’t you for a moment think it all came to me on an effing platter. Because it didn’t. I have worked my a** off for it and then some.

But that has not changed who I am as a person. I will continue to read, reciprocate, co-elevate, and support other writers as I’ve always done. That is what community is all about and I am a proponent for that.

I write about reciprocation on Medium because it is what I believe in and also about being a top writer because I have no qualms about sharing my Medium journey with my readers (It has literally put me on the map, given me steady 3 figure earnings, and freelancing offers so why the heck wouldn’t I?)

Oh, you are not here to read about my self-marketing posts? Because you are not here for the money but exclusively for the joy of writing and being argumentative when other people’s personal stories don’t align with your opinions?

My friend, you dey vex me.

What you’ve never realized is though your content doesn’t always gel with me either. I, however, have tried to see the positives in it and think from you, the writer’s perspective.

That’s the way I do before posting a comment.

Again, I forget that you are a firm believer in “We don’t owe each other anything” on this platform.

If that were the case, Medium would be a lonely, self-centered place indeed.

I am sorry we had to part ways in this manner. I still think you are a wonderful person and am sad this had to happen but I can’t pretend everything is okay nor can I let certain things slide.

Best wishes on your one-person crusade to make the world a better place according to you and goodbye.

Yana BG

I recently published a short-form article titled “Where are you from?” in which I talk about how I do not appreciate people asking me about my ethnicity. I also specified there is a fine line between microaggression and curiosity.

There are several reasons for me strongly feeling this way and it is based on negative experiences:

• I grew up during Apartheid in South Africa where I experienced racism at its finest. We were denied admission to schools, places of worship, and purchasing homes in “White” areas due to skin color.
• I have been repeatedly bullied at school and threatened with sexual assault for my skin color.
• I have had to deflect sexual advances from as early as age 12 because I happen to be someone’s idea of ‘exotic.’
• Despite being American citizens, we had to stop wearing traditional garb in public places so that our school-going relatives would not be relentlessly bullied (physically and mentally).
• You never know when you are going to bump into someone at a place as innocuous as the grocery store who takes affront on account of your skin color and tells you “You are not welcome here. Go back to your country!”

In case you didn’t notice there is a lot of anti-minority, anti-immigration, and racism going on despite us being in the tail end of the year 2021 which makes me think twice when asked about my ethnicity.

Since you have never been in my shoes or my skin color, don’t assume for a moment you know better.

Shout out to Donnette Anglin for this inspiring story