3 Ways to Mend Relationships

Exploring Cooperation and Happiness

Relationships are dynamic situations, where we experience the highs and the lows, ranging from moments of unadulterated compassion to the rocky patches of verbal banter.

As an aspiring therapist who works and volunteers closely with people across the lifespan, I’ve had many opportunities to address individuals and couples are often distressed or overwhelmed on what to do.

When you’re finding yourself hitting a snag in a relationship, there are many things or ideas to consider and they can be pretty overwhelming. While the answers towards getting out of a rocky situation are not so simple, here are some general ideas to keep you grounded.

1. Cooperate and Compromise

As humans, we are quick to socially compare ourselves to others, often undermining our self-worth or the worth of others in the process. If someone is seemingly doing a lot better than you, perhaps you think things are terrible. However, while comparing yourself to others can be helpful for goal orientation and motivation, they’re not so helpful with romantic relationships.

Instead, view your successes as things to be proud of, but not necessarily something that makes you better than others. After all, we’re all made up of many talents and skills, and each one of us has something that requires extra help. Instead, your success is also their success, and their success is yours. Cooperate to celebrate, but don’t put anyone down.

2. Be Supportive and Don’t Triangulate

We are often looking for emerging information that critically examines existing ideas. When people talk about a subject matter, sometimes people tell a third party about the same circumstance, and the next thing you know, people are walking around with exaggerated misinformation and gossip, fostering triangulation.

At times, we need specific kinds of information from our social relationships, but triangulation is counter-productive with romantic partners. To give your partner the best space to be heard, you may need to hear them out, even if you don’t always agree with them. In a way, you are their safe space.

Sometimes, others need the space to create a rough soundboard of their personal opinion, especially if it's for a topic that they never considered before. Their ideologies may evolve, especially as you get to know one another. Being supportive means understanding that people take time to reach their own conclusion.

3. Socially Evolve and Be Spontaneous

Perhaps you’ve followed a simple routine with your partner and you’re just going through the notions. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to try out something you’ve never considered before. For example, maybe you will splurge on that new but swanky purchase. Perhaps you will end up watching that strange new tv show with your partner, despite it being a guilty pleasure.

It’s definitely okay to try new things, especially for the things you’ve been avoiding for many years. Sometimes, that little spontaneous push is needed.

The worst that you can do is magically hope for the circumstances to change. Instead of waiting for change, you can be the catalyst for it. Perhaps this relationship requires a social evolution, one where you and your partner are much more comfortable, especially in the years ahead.

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