3 Things That Helped Me Decide to go Back to School
Stop making “lie, deny, and blame the other guy” your motto
You try to ignore those subtle messages from The Universe, but they keep reappearing. You keep quieting the thoughts you don't want to hear. The more attempts to silence those thoughts, the louder they become. Until one day, they just knock you over the head with a brick.
Have you ever thought you were completely done with something, only to have it fester over time?
I’m confident everyone has experienced this to some extent, regardless of the subject matter. It happened to me earlier this year about going back to college.
I thought I was done. I believed I was done. I hoped I was done. I already have four degrees (two bachelors, two masters, and a professional certification). How many more do I need?
There was one more mountain to be challenged. It was staring at me, and I was blatantly ignoring it. It kept growing bigger as the years passed. I did not want to climb. But I was being pulled back in.
One day, out of the blue, I was clubbed over the head with my life’s purpose. Since I had ignored it for so long, I think this was the only way The Universe was able to get my undivided attention. It was not subtle.
I was at work when it happened, quietly sitting at my desk, minding my own business. I was working on a presentation for a nursing research program I was teaching at the time. My job was okay. But it didn’t feed my soul, it was very stressful, and I knew it. It was just that, a job.
I was preoccupied with my project when I heard a voice inside say, “go back to school for your Ph.D. so you can be a college professor and teach what you love. This is not what you were meant to do.” This was not my own voice or even my idea. It was a bit freaky and awkward. And I will never forget that moment.
A few months later, everything changed. There were job cuts across the entire health system from loss of revenue. I was laid off from my job as an educator. But I was issued a clean slate, an opportunity to pursue my dream. Has this ever happened to you?
My dream job is to become a professor in the world of higher education. My life’s purpose requires me to go back to school for a Ph.D. I was both excited and scared out of my mind simultaneously.
There were three things that helped me take a leap of faith to pursue the idea of going back to school:
- Stop making excuses
- Stop placing blame on other people
- Know your value
1. Stop Making Excuses
I was good at this one. Every time the letters P-h-D came to my mind, I had an excuse. And those excuses were as extensive as the universe itself. I recently heard something that rings true about excuses:
“Excuses are nothing more than well-planned lies” — Dani Johnson
I was lying to myself. Excuses will keep you trapped. Excuses will keep you you broke and broken. Excuses will deplete your energy, your hopes, your goals, and vision for your life. Excuses will hold you back every time and stop you from living a life of abundance and excitement. Excuses will hurt you in the long run.
I had self-limiting beliefs and lacked the confidence to tackle this goal. I have wanted to achieve a Ph.D. since I first started my education. Despite my thinking that I was done nine years ago, when I completed my second masters program, I knew in my heart I wasn’t done. I chose to ignore and repress that voice for a long time.
Some of my excuses included:
- Not smart enough
- Current student loan debt is too much
- It’s too expensive
- Don’t have the time
- What would you do with such a degree anyway?
- Who would even accept you into their program?
- Stop being a “professional student”
- There are no reputable programs within driving distance, they are all out of state.
- Nevermind your goals, just live and work like everyone else.
I literally had myself convinced of all these things.
Is there something you want to achieve, but are ignoring and making excuses instead? Are you using the current pandemic as an excuse?
Stop making excuses. There is never a “perfect time”.
Instead, know that every moment is perfect to start working toward your hopes and dreams.
2. Stop Blaming Others
This kind of goes in hand with the first point. As if the excuse list isn’t long enough, sometimes we make other people in our life our excuses. Our loved ones are not meant to become our excuses. Our loved ones are meant to be our support system.
I shifted my excuse pile on to my husband, and he didn’t even know it. These thoughts looked like:
- He’ll never understand why I want to go back
- He’ll never support this idea
- He’ll leave me
- He’s never been with me through school and doesn’t know my study habits
- He’ll hate my schedule
- He’ll hate me
- We’ll never see each other
None of this was true. Again, I lied to myself. I had myself convinced my husband was going to completely shut down the idea. I was terrified to approach him and even tell him the epiphany I experienced. In my mind, I had painted my spouse as a negative and non-supportive person who wouldn't listen to me. What kind of wife was I to think that way of her spouse? I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt.
As I explained to him what had happened to me at work, he listened very carefully. I didn’t expect him to give me any answers at that moment. He thought about it for a few days. When the topic arose again, he gave the green light of support and the loving reassurance I needed. He said the exact opposite of what I internally convinced myself. He saw my dream as something positive and good.
I applied to two different programs (one completely online, and one hybrid). If I wasn’t accepted to either university, then I knew I was not meant to walk that path. I was mentally prepared for that decision.
But I was accepted to a program. And the program I was accepted to couldn’t be more ideal for me and our life!
Everything does and will work out. You have to believe it!
Stop blaming other people for your fears and excuses. Stop blaming loved ones for your lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. If someone loves you, they will support you and see you through your dreams, no matter what. They will help and not hinder.
While my husband can’t do the work for me, he helps me to brainstorm and listens to my ideas. He asks me questions and is genuinely interested in the work I am doing. He does give me a valuable perspective, as he too is in the same profession. He is very supportive, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
3. Realize Your Value
Investing in yourself is one of the best things you can do in life. In fact, it’s the smartest decision you can make. It doesn’t matter if you invest in your education, a new skill set, or travel experience. What does matter is it’s in pursuit of a dream and adding value to YOU.
Stop denying your value and worth.
Adding value doesn’t always mean going back to college to pursue another degree. It can be something as simple and easy as reading some books to gain new knowledge. You can watch YouTube videos for free and learn something new. Enroll in a small online course and devote some time to develop your new skill.
Opportunities abound, and this is the time to get unstuck and become creative in your endeavors.
Once you add something to yourself, nobody can take it away from you. Ever!
Thoughts from a Crowded Brain
It’s no small undertaking to decide if you want to go back to college to advance your education. There are a lot of factors at stake and a lot of things to consider. But in order to move forward when pursuing a dream or a goal, you need to take care of a few things first:
- Stop making excuses
- Stop blaming other people
- Realize your value
Excuses are nothing more than well-planned lies. Stop lying to yourself. Start living and pursuing your dreams.
Our loved ones are our support system. They are meant to help and not hinder. Stop placing blame on them for your lack of confidence.
It’s always a good thing to invest in yourself. Investing in yourself adds value, and helps prepare you for the best future you were meant to live.