3 Things I Learned About Love in a Mental Clinic
#3 Acceptance is key
It’s been four weeks since I’ve been in a mental clinic. During this time, I’ve managed to fall in love — don’t ask how! Ha! Now I know love can happen in the weirdest of places. When I first got in here, I didn’t feel any love. In fact, it was hard to feel anything at all. But now I have fallen in love with someone; I feel a lot of love that I’ve not felt in a long time.
So here are three things I learned about love in a mental clinic because:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore
No judging
When falling in love in a mental clinic, there has to be no judgment on the plate. I think a lot of the time, when we start to date and fall in love, judgment gets in the way of loving wholly. I noticed this because here, there is no space for judgment. You are here for a reason, and the reason isn't going to be easy to handle at times.
“Everyone has untold stories of pain and sadness that make them love and live a little differently than you do. Stop judging, instead try to understand.” — Anonymous
For example, the guy I am falling in love with has very low self-esteem due to his debilitating depression — here is how to deal with depression when it gets bad:
So back to the guy. I knew that when falling for him, I would have an issue or multiple issues. He couldn't believe that I liked him or chose him because of his confidence issues, and through that, I realised that he probably wouldn't be able to love me back as I love him right now. I noticed that he doesn't love himself enough to love me back, but I still went all-in and spent all my time with him despite the fact I knew he wouldn't be able to love me back fully.
You see, I didn't judge, but I rather showed compassion and kindness. I understood what he was going through because I've been there too — I guess that's why you could say our connection is so special too, because we understand each other on another level.
Where there is real love, there is no room for judgement.
Being as open as you can
“Openness, respect, integrity — these are principles that need to underpin pretty much every other decision that you make.” — Justin Trudeau
I am a pretty open person, and it is one of the three things I like about myself — the other two are my laugh and the way I listen to people. (This is a good exercise to do when you feel low self-esteem, by the way.) What are the three things you like about yourself?
So, back to three things that I have learned about love in a mental clinic — openness being the second. When you are open with people, you get to understand their problems on another level. When falling in love with this guy in the mental clinic, I couldn't help but be as open with him as possible as I could see he needed the space and certainty that everything was ok. He would get paranoid about not saying something right or doing something right around me (I guess a mix of nerves and low self-esteem), and I would tell him it is OK.
When you are open with someone, you get to connect with their soul. I believe silence is the connection of souls and actually quite like silence now and then — we don't always have to chatter and cover up the silence with unneeded words at times. Think about it — silence is soothing fo the soul and doesn't have to be considered awkward.
I also don't find it awkward when I am open because I know then that the person will either like or dislike me for truly who I am. For example (a bit of a horrible example, but I will share with you anyway), I normally spit after I have smoked, which is very unladylike of me, I know. However, that's what I do, and he likes that about me. You see where openness is; there is no judgment. As Mother Teresa says:
“If you judge people you have no time to love them.”
I know it may sound strange, but this bizarre act of spitting is beautiful because we accept each other for exactly who we are, which is the final point about what I have learned in the mental clinic about love.
Acceptance is key
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Accepting someone for who they are is the greatest gif you can give somebody, I think. I try to do this with everyone I meet, especially here in the clinic. I see people have their troubles dealing with, and I try my best not to judge and accept what they tell me. Of course, as humans, it is our initial reaction to judge straight away, especially with our modern-day way of living and luxury.
But what if you accepted more people for who they are? Not only would you have more friends and people who loved you, but you would also start to feel more comfortable with yourself.
When being in the mental clinic and falling in love (you can read more about how it happened here:…
…I realised the more I started to accept this guy’s faults and failures, the more I would love him. You see, he was so confused that I could love someone “like him” because he had no confidence in who he was or knew who he was. But that didn’t matter to me. What mattered was the way he is so kind and compassionate, so funny and weird. We can be around each other, and it makes me happy. Cheesy, but true!!
I realised the more I accept him for who he is, maybe the more he will start to accept and learn to love himself too… let’s hope — that is a story for another day!
In conclusion
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu
The three things I learned about love in a mental clinic are quite simple:
- Don’t judge but learn to listen and love
- Be as open as you can and be yourself
- Accept one another to lead to recovery.
I hope this helps your relationship or budding relationship because these three aspects have truly changed who I am and how I love fully.
Before you go
Thanks for being here.
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