3 Simple Reasons Why You Need Rejection to Succeed In Anything
Denial makes you stronger
It had been two weeks since I submitted my application.
I worked hard to make sure every detail was as perfect as it could be. No mistakes. No inaccurate information.
I was starting to doubt myself, double-checking my credentials to ensure I was a worthy prospect. And then an email notification revived my phone from its coma.
Excited and scared at the same time, I expected the worse but hoped for the best. So I opened the email. This is what it said.
“Thank you for your interest in the [blah] position at [blah]. After careful consideration, we have decided to move forward with another candidate.
Best of luck in your job search.”
Question marks were bouncing all over the place in my head. I didn’t understand why this was happening. I mean, I worked hard to make sure everything was right. And I was more than qualified.
Still, all I saw was a two-letter word staring back at me:
“No.”
We want constant rewards for our hard work. Most of the time that means we want a “yes” in return. Yet that shouldn’t determine whether or not we pursue what matters to us.
Leaders at the top of the success chain have a bottom line. They have an end-game. It serves you well to clarify your own.
If you don’t, you begin to focus on approval instead of the big picture.
The truth is, you’re either a free thinker or an imprisoned one. You either lead with focus or stay stuck in insecurities, doubts, and false assumptions about how your life should look.
It hurts to get turned down. Getting accepted for everything you set out to do would be more enjoyable. But you would also abandon the most potent firestarter that will propel you forward.
Rejection pushes you in the right direction
If I were overly concerned about approval, I wouldn’t write today. I wouldn’t go out every chance I get to take pictures for people who appreciate my work. And I wouldn’t type a single line of code for projects that take me back to being a kid again.
Success stories often get a bad rep. People assume because someone is where they are today, they must have always been there. But that’s rarely the case.
- Steve Jobs was fired from his own company in 1985 before returning to it in 1997.
- The first Harry Potter book was slapped to the ground 12 times before the famous Bloomsbury publishing house accepted it.
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from a local Baltimore news station as a co-anchor before hosting the same network’s morning show.
For some, rejection turns them away from their pursuits altogether. They no longer see the beauty of what brought them where they are.
For others, they see the good in rejection — the underlying effects of having the door hit them in the nose as they wait for an answer. They walk away with their heads high and a sense of direction.
That sense of direction isn’t always clear. Sometimes it’s difficult to find where to go next. Yet the most inspired ones see it as an opportunity to utilize their creativity.
In the words of Steve Jobs, referring to his initial experience at Apple:
“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”
We lock ourselves into the cages of our comfort zones. We pace around in circles trying to stay as far away from the edge as possible. Then we wonder why our level of growth has only gone so far.
It’s because we are afraid to suggest crazy ideas and concepts that might make people angry.
More often than not, that leads to rejection. And rejection leads to what stands outside the cage — a freedom that allows for unique creative expression.
Jobs continues:
“The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”
You need rejection. It has a way of turning you in the direction you’re supposed to move in. But it starts with shifting your view of “no.”
Rejection helps you bypass the sinkholes
My twin brother and I launched a photography business several years ago. We had a long wishlist for gear.
Our YouTube history was full of instructional, how-to videos for aspiring photographers wanting to sharpen their skills with a camera. And we knew what we wanted to shoot.
We saw growth in unrealistic ways.
So we took our shot and reached out to a few reputable companies. Now, we were new to the game. An extensive track record of working with other businesses didn’t exist — we were just a couple of wide-eyed dreamers with an eye for photography and a solid portfolio.
Still, that wasn’t enough. We were rejected immediately by every company on our radar. But today, I’m glad it happened.
Other photographers told us how badly those companies treated them throughout the process.
Later we got an email from another reputable company that found our work online. That’s when we got the shot we’d been waiting for all along.
You skip sinkholes because of rejection.
Analogies like that aren’t easy to accept. But hindsight is 20/20. We can look back and witness the dangers that were in front of us and appreciate the denial.
Rejection makes you stronger
“No” ultimately gives you two options:
- You can walk away with your head down while your ambition crumbles to the ground in pieces.
- Or you can pull it together and figure out why it happened.
Maybe you need to improve in certain areas. We assume this is a bad thing. But it’s positive reinforcement.
You find out where those weak links are in your chain, the areas that hold you back from revealing the creative mastermind you know yourself to be. The weak links tell the stories of your potential.
It’s not enough to know what needs work, though. You have to do something about it.
After you identify the problem, make necessary changes, learn from them, and get better.
My dad has a saying.
“Life is a tester.”
As a kid, I didn’t understand it. It was just adult talk to me. But it’s never been more true to me than right now. Each day tests us. The biggest hurdle is showing up and putting in the work.
Most of us give up when things get heated. They see criticism as an unloving characteristic of hateful souls, not realizing that criticism can be beneficial.
Compliments are great, but getting turned down for any reason is the death of us. That’s not how extraordinary people think, though.
Today’s “no” may turn out to be someone else’s “yes” tomorrow. Extraordinary people work hard until they see it come to life.
Keep your fire burning
Complacency remains a possibility no matter how far you’ve come. The assumption that we’re “good enough” takes precedence over producing quality content people need.
No matter what it is, getting comfortable is never what you want. When this happens, you stop growing. And rejection becomes a period at the end of a sentence instead of a semicolon.
Rejection lights a fire in those who won’t give up on their pursuits because of a thumbs down. Their strides become even longer, more vigorous.
Persistent people like these get their shot. Their persistence pays off over time.
That’s not to say it’s easy, or that hearing those words won’t sting. But they shouldn’t be allowed to hold you back.
- Did a publication reject you?
- Did you get turned down from your dream job?
- Did your crush tell you she wasn’t interested?
Don’t let that lock you into a state of stagnation. Keep moving, and let that fire burn.
In the face of rejection, having the mindset to persevere will change your life. You start to notice how denial strengthens your dedication to a specific goal when you no longer see it as the worse thing ever.
People’s opinions won’t sit around in your head because you’ll have a bigger picture in mind.