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</figure><p id="d15c">But I was having trouble even doing that. I started cheating, letting the reminder go off and then tapping it “complete” without doing anything. My husband would give me occasional reminders, but he never pushed hard, and I was grateful for that. I would hate for him to start resenting me for not trying hard enough. He always thanked me when I told him I was going to drive, so I know it meant a lot to him. I felt I was letting him down by avoiding it so frequently.</p><p id="17d3">The thing was, I was still doing the best I could, even when that meant I did nothing. Maybe I wasn’t doing nothing though. I was <i>thinking</i> about getting in the car every day, which was difficult in itself. But I knew that was insufficient. The whole point of making a recurring calendar action was to prompt and inspire me to at least get into the car, even if I just got out again. I didn’t want to just think about it.</p><p id="d70e">Was getting into the car once a day too much to ask of myself? I hated to think of myself as lazy. The word is so dismissive and has such a negative connotation about the worth of a person, not just their ability or willingness to act.</p><p id="6ae3">Was I unwilling to get into the car or unable to? Both? Was my desire to avoid stirring up memories of past driving-related trauma outweighing my desire to drive? Probably. Stuff that happened decades ago was so vivid in my emotional memory bank that it was crippling my functioning in an aspect of life that most people get to take for granted.</p><figure id="b840"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*0gx_JW0juZED_Jo2"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@bastianp?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Bastian Pudill</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="2466">I would go for such long periods of time without driving or even turning on the ignition that, when I finally had the courage to do so, my car usually wouldn’t start at all. I wanted to hide this from my husband, so I bought a jump-start device that can be charged up with a USB cable. It worked like a charm, which was both a good and bad thing.</p><p id="1d57">Good, in that I didn’t have to rely on someone else to get my car working again. Good, in that I could hide the ridiculous extent to which I was avoiding getting in my car and turning on the ignition. But not-so-good in that the device served as an enabler.</p><p id="8669">When I was able to build up my resolve enough to get into the car, turn the ignition on and pull out of the parking space, I often would just drive up and down the street of my housing development and pull back in. That was all I could bear.</p><p id="66a9">About once every two or three weeks I would venture out on the road. The speed limit on our street was 30 mph and I had read somewhere that the police don’t give speeding tickets unless you’re driving 12 mph over the speed limit. But other drivers almost invariably drove faster than that and tailgated.</p><p id="75de">When I would see a car close behind in the rear-view mirror, I was presented with a dilemma: Either speed up more than 42 mph, risking getting pul

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led over, or, continue driving at 42 mph and anger the person tailgating me. This would invariably bring back the memory of being chased, cornered and <a href="https://readmedium.com/cornered-at-gunpoint-my-fear-of-driving-amaxophobia-45c79ae4baa9">having my life threatened by another driver</a> and/or being accused of <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-hit-a-pedestrian-fear-of-driving-amaxophobia-e42aebed8f0c">running over a pedestrian</a>. And then there was the ever-present fear of having a car crash that would kill someone, which was ingrained in me from the moment I started learning how to drive.</p><p id="8c49">I was in a no-win situation.</p><p id="5db1">A friend once told me he was uncomfortable with my driving because he could tell I was nervous. He said I always white-knuckled the steering wheel, which was true. I did it without being conscious of it, and I didn’t really become aware of it until he told me.</p><p id="54c5">Full disclosure: This is a difficult, embarrassing topic and I used the past tense to describe my struggle. I would have written in the present tense if I was being truly honest. I am struggling with this <i>now</i>. I am writing about it to put it outside of me, to externalize it, hopefully in a way that will help me process it better, to tell my brain that what happened then is unlikely to happen again.</p><div id="c7f9" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/cornered-at-gunpoint-my-fear-of-driving-amaxophobia-45c79ae4baa9"> <div> <div> <h2>Cornered at Gunpoint: My Fear of Driving (Amaxophobia)</h2> <div><h3>The aftermath of being chased and caught</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*mxT-Euno_l4PeMD6)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="7b62" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-hit-a-pedestrian-fear-of-driving-amaxophobia-e42aebed8f0c"> <div> <div> <h2>I Hit a Pedestrian? My Fear of Driving (Amaxophobia)</h2> <div><h3>Nightmare in a Parking Garage</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*zGv8g6UjHfqZ2081)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="7b70">Follow me on Substack for more content:</h2><div id="6130" class="link-block"> <a href="https://substack.com/@douglaskwon"> <div> <div> <h2>Douglas Kwon | Substack</h2> <div><h3>I'm a queer, biracial survivor of...stuff. I write about my not-so-great experiences as well as things that bring me…</h3></div> <div><p>substack.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*fAQNieJuEiCpHYfv)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

3 Quotes from Jeff Bezos That Will Make You More Innovative

If applied, they will change the way you see the world.

Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos is at the top of the charts for the richest people in the world.

He got there with his incredible company, Amazon which began in 1994. Ever since then, he’s grown it into an internet giant in eCommerce and so much more.

His mindset has shown me how to think years ahead of where I am. Bezos allows me to strategize my next moves before waiting for a perfect moment.

My goal is for Jeff Bezos’ three quotes to help give you direction to strategize moves you want to make in life.

Quote #1

If you double the number of experiments you do per year you’re going to double your inventiveness.

— Jeff Bezos

I start us off with this quote because it can apply to anything you do in life.

“By doubling your experiments, you double your inventiveness.”

It sounds like such a simple thing to do, but not so many people do it including me. All we need to do to be more creative and innovative is to take more chances.

When you start your blog, you should try to experiment with all types of writing topics and see what works for you!

People who are scared to take risks, chances, and fail are going to be the ones who don’t excel. Try not to be that person.

Don’t be afraid of failure because it’s the greatest teacher in life.

Try more, learn more, and achieve more. That’s the Bezos way.

Quote #2

We’re not competition obsessed, we’re customer obsessed. We start with the customer and work backwards.

— Jeff Bezos

Amazon is as much of a powerhouse as it is because it was never worried about the competition such as Wal-Mart, eBay, etc.

The company only cared about its customers.

We hear about how important customers are all the time, and everyone preaches about it. But do they follow through with it? It’s 50/50 with most businesses.

When it comes to being the best at what you do, thinking about the end consumer makes the most sense.

Let’s use blogging again as an example.

If you’re solely focused on beating someone at the same level as you in followers or post frequency, you’re going to lose sight of making your readers happy.

They’re going to see that you’re just cranking out articles without much thought or detail, and they’ll leave.

Stay committed to the customer and they’ll be committed to your products or services for life.

Quote #3

Cultures, for better or worse, are very stable.

— Jeff Bezos

This last quote is quite simple but incredibly powerful.

When we talk about culture, we might think about other countries and the food they eat, their customs, and their language.

We may also think about business culture and the type of culture it breeds.

In both scenarios, it starts from the top and works its way down.

I’m saying that the leader of either the country or the CEO of a business is ultimately in charge of creating a great culture or unwelcomed culture.

Since cultures are very stable, it’s important to start your business, adventure, or another journey with the mindset you want to see several years down the line.

Jeff Bezos is still the same guy he was back in 1994 when he preached about how important the customers are to him.

Cultures are stable, and they live on.

In anything you do in life, you’re going to have to innovate.

Otherwise, everything you thought would work is going to begin working against you.

Keep your head up, explore other options, and never stop experimenting.

If you enjoyed this article, you might enjoy these other stories as well!

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