3 Qualities I Value in Being a Highly Sensitive Person

Some may see it as a curse but I see it as a blessing

The first time I heard the term — Highly Sensitive Person — was around eight years ago.

I read an account of what it specifically meant to be an HSP and realized that not only I, but also my eldest daughter, fit the description perfectly. We both found ourselves affected quite strongly by certain aspects of everyday life and experienced times of inability to sleep properly, without any viable explanation. I will explain these in more detail in just a moment.

What exactly is an HSP?

The mental health resource organization, Very Well Mind, explains the concept of being a Highly Sensitive Person:

“A highly sensitive person (HSP) is a term for those who are thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. Some refer to this as having sensory processing sensitivity, or SPS for short.

While highly sensitive people are sometimes negatively described as being “too sensitive,” it is a personality trait that brings both strengths and challenges.

These terms were first coined by psychologists Elaine Aron and Arthur Aron in the mid-1990s and interest in the concept has continued to grow tremendously since then.”

They go on to explain some of the main characteristics of HSPs. These include the following:

• Finding violent movies or TV shows too intense and therefore extremely unsettling that they are hard to process
• Being deeply affected or moved by beauty, in art or nature, or conceptual beauty in the human spirit.
• Finding sensory stimuli overwhelming, such as big or noisy crowds, bright lighting, or clothing that gives any form of discomfort
• Feeling a greater need for solitary or downtime, especially following busy periods, which can lead to anxiety if not met
• Having very rich and experiential inner thoughts and processes, complete with strong feelings that can be both uplifting and anxiety-inducing

Why I believe my daughter and I fit this personality

There are certain moments I can point to that clarify for me that we both fit the definition of HSPs.

My daughter, as a baby and toddler, was highly affected by regular household lighting. She would stare hard at any ceiling light and, when we would stay with family who only used bright lighting, it was nearly impossible to settle her. At home, I used low-voltage lighting or candles, and she was calm, happy, and slept easily.

As she grew older and into her teens, she would tell me that sometimes she could hear the electricity around her, and this would sometimes stop her from sleeping.

For myself, I am strongly affected by noisy crowds and any kind of high-energy or fast-paced activity can leave me feeling like I am buzzing and wired. If I drive late at night, dealing with bright car headlights on a dark night, and especially if I have been driving on the fast roads, my head can feel like it is still moving for a couple of hours after I arrive home.

These are just a few examples. Others include how we respond to people socially or deal with difficult interactions, and how we both have always needed time alone and undisturbed. Not having this can leave me unable to ground myself, and can lead to stress.

Neither of us is naturally stressed. In fact, I am regularly told that I give off a strong sense of peace and that people feel very calm in my presence. I would say that my daughter has a very similar calm about her.

To be more sure that we both fitted this personality, I used this personality test to verify what I already thought.

Why I embrace my qualities as an HSP

Recognizing that I am a Highly Sensitive Person has served me in a number of ways.

I feel that it has enabled me to actually deal with many situations that others are not well-equipped to cope with emotionally. I would also say that it has helped to keep me healthy both mentally and physically.

Here are my top examples:

1. I am sensitive to synthetic flavors: There is nothing better than having a high sensitivity to taste when it rules out synthetic additives and unhealthy flavorings. The one time I had a McDonald’s meal in the last fifteen years, the taste of added sugar, and other unwelcome added ingredients to savory flavors, put me off for good. This extends into the flavors in all sorts of prepared dips and processed foods available in supermarkets.
2. Over-sensitivity to the energy of others: Over the years, I have learned to recognize when the energy of other people in the room or directly interacting with me is disruptive or unnerving. I once would struggle to emotionally process this, and beat myself up for not feeling receptive or able to accommodate everyone, because it didn’t seem normal. Now, however, I know that I am grounded enough to give myself the grace to leave the presence of individuals who are disruptive or difficult.
3. Able to self-soothe and feel a general sense of gratitude: While being a Highly Sensitive Person can cause one to feel a strong sense of injustice and sadness at the challenging things in life, it has also taught me that I have the ability to feel the opposite emotion in a polarised manner: gratitude. Although I can easily feel like the world, too much on my plate, and too many expectations of me can get on top of me, I find it very easy to change frustration or overwhelm into a deep sense of appreciation. I can not only recognize the many ways in which I am extremely grateful, but also feel the gratitude to such an extent that it carries through days, and weeks of feeling consistent joy exemplified.

The blessings it has brought

Ultimately, having to self-regulate and self-soothe brings about a deep sense of self.

The fact that I know how easily I can get ungrounded means that I have put an immense amount of work into staying grounded on a day-to-day basis. And the fact that it can be very easy to take life too seriously when the world can feel like it is easily going to overwhelm me made me focus on lightening my life and seeing the funny side.

I know I am prone to slipping into the anxiety that can come with easy overstimulation as an HSP but I have become extremely well-equipped to spot myself doing so and change gears.

If you recognize yourself in any of the points above, or any experiences that I have shared, then why not do this questionnaire to have a better idea. I promise you that just having the validation for your own unique sensitivities can help immensely.

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Thanks for reading! Here are a few more of my thoughts and scribblings: