3 Powerful Ways to Combat a Flared up Anxiety (And Cease Worrying)
No, not the cliché meditation or listening to calming music
A traumatic childhood and my mother’s sweet genetics have bestowed the gift of crippling anxiety upon me.
But while I’ve accepted the insidious stomach butterflies and rapid fidgeting as part of my life, some anxiety flare-ups get really ugly.
The worst of them used to give me panic attacks, insomnia, and skull-shattering headaches.
But I’ve gained enough control to prevent normal anxiety flare-ups from worsening — insomnia and panic are things of the past.
I want to share the 3 things that have helped me the most — so the rest of my anxiety-stricken brethren can also benefit.
Get to The Root “Why” of Your Anxiety
As I’m penning this, my anxiety’s ramping up.
But I know it’s because of my pre-workout caffeine mixed with the excitement of the day’s plans.
Without the “why”, you’ll fall prey to the anxiety loop — the awareness of your anxiety makes you more anxious, which heightens your awareness.
But when you know the root cause, you’ll stamp out the budding fire with your leather shoes—rather than feed it with a bucket load of kerosene.
Facing your anxiety can be uncomfortable but bear with it. Gather your wits and patiently probe your anxiety.
- Why am I feeling anxious?
- Can I do anything to control or change it?
- Does it actually matter in the present moment?
- Is this thought even valid? If it isn’t, why am I entertaining it?
99% of the time, you’ll find there was actually nothing to worry about.
The other 1%?
You’ll at least know what to do to solve it.
An Affirmation that Has Worked Wonders for Me
In our hyper-connected world overflowing with distractions, being present has become an endangered superpower.
With jam-packed schedules tugging us into the future and regretful memories pulling us into the past, no wonder anxiety is so widespread.
While lengthy articles and videos can anchor us back to the present, they aren’t handy — here’s where the serenity prayer comes in:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
The Stoic dichotomy of control talks about the same — focus only on what you can control and forget about what you cannot.
I know it’s common sense, but when anxiety or negative thoughts strike, it’s hard to recall “common sense”.
“Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.”
Say you’re in the gym, and the upcoming work deadline niggles your mind, ask yourself, “Can I actually do anything about the deadline right now?”
No, you can only pump iron. So focus on the workout, wrap it up, and then sit down to work.
Heart thumping about how the audience would react to your upcoming speech or if the newly joined pretty receptionist will reject your approach?
But those things are not in your control so why bother?
What is in your control is preparing for the speech and actually making the cold approach.
By Engaging in This Kind of Work
Our default behavior in the face of anxiety is to dive into distractions—DMing a friend, multiple tabs of YouTube, or scrolling through Instagram.
But this only feeds the anxiety — until it becomes a full-blown panic attack and you collapse in bed.
Even worse is “warding” it off with coping mechanisms—be it smoking, masturbating to porn, or binging junk food. Over time, these morph into addictions.
The actual solution is deep work — studying, playing music, solving math, researching, painting, or writing.
The reason is with deep work, you get “into the zone” or descend into the flow state. As Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says,
“The flow state is one in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter;
The experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”
Flow erases every trace of negativity from your mind and leaves it brimming with happiness.
Plus, thanks to the heightened cognitive state, you get a ton of ultra-high quality work done in a short duration — McKinsey researchers found as much as a 500% productivity boost!
Cut our distractions, pop some trance-like music, and get to work — the anxiety’s going to vanish before you even realize it.
Last Thoughts
The more you “care” about your anxiety, the worse it becomes — so stop treating it like a disease and live with it.
With a positive lens, regular anxiety flare-ups will actually morph into excitement.
If you feel panic building up, take a few deep relaxing breaths, smile, and remember:
“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems” ― Epictetus
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