3 Damaging Beliefs That Stop You From Moving Forward in Life

Don’t let these common beliefs drag you down.

We can have over 6000 thoughts per day, according to researchers.

That gives us opportunities for damaging and harmful thoughts to come to mind. Add on our natural negativity bias, it’s a no-brainer that we can develop harmful beliefs that affect us.

The more damaging beliefs we have, the greater the likelihood we start to believe them.

And why is this troublesome?

Because our beliefs affect our thoughts, feelings and actions. Harmful thoughts = distressing emotions = maladaptive behaviours.

We need to become more aware of these damaging beliefs. They could affect the way you feel, your actions and they could be stopping you from progressing in life.

1. Thinking Everything Bad Only Happens To You

How often do you feel like everything you try fails?

But, when you look at others (who are succeeding) you think these bad moments are only targeting you?

We tend not to see others' adversities unless it’s someone close to us.

The truth is those people who are doing well have been through difficult scenarios.

Someone recently turned to me and said:

“Everything I try fails. I’ve tried to start businesses, it hasn’t worked. I’ve put money in stocks, it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to be there for my family but I can’t even do that. Other people get what they want at the snap of their fingers.”

On surface level that may seem true and you may experience these beliefs too. But here’s the reality — don’t assume others haven’t had that same experience that you’re going through right now. Often, those people you ‘think’ get what they want haven’t had it all their way.

But why should that make anyone feel better?

The simple answer is it can turn hopelessness into hopefulness. Knowing these struggles are shared human experiences can help you see light at the end of the tunnel.

Knowing that others have been to that dark place but come out on top can give you hope and optimism.

Knowing these difficulties affect us all can help with developing a hopeful belief. And, the more hopeful beliefs and thoughts we have, the more adaptive our emotions and behaviours are.

It can help reduce the intensity and even get rid of the damaging belief that bad things only target you.

2. Limiting Your Ability

How often do you believe you won’t be able to do something before actually doing it?

Or, you could talk yourself out of trying something because you believe it will be too hard.

Often, we don’t have any evidence or reasoning not to do something. We create something magical in our minds that completely limits our belief in being able to do it.

Of course, that will stop you from progressing. You become afraid to try something new or try something a bit harder than what you’re doing. By having this belief that your ability is limited, you limit your chance to grow.

Even before I started writing, I would think that my writing wouldn’t go anywhere or help anyone. I believed that there would be no point in writing because I thought I wasn't capable of doing it.

I would say things such as “I’ll not have anything different or creative to say so people won’t find it interesting.” And just like that, I used to talk myself out of writing my first blog post.

But, when I published my first article, it was an amazing feeling and I received some great feedback. Since then, it’s been a year and a half. I’ve created two audiobooks, a newsletter on Substack and have freelance work.

Initially, I had this damaging belief that I won’t be able to do it. But it wasn't until I gave it a go I realised I have the ability.

Give things a go. Go and gather the evidence for yourself to see you can actually do it. Trust me, you can. And by doing this, you’ll break down this damaging belief of limiting your ability.

3. Believing Negative Past Events Will Happen Again

Nobody wants to get hurt twice.

And that’s probably why we like to hold onto difficult, past events. It can be a protective mechanism.

Holding this belief can be damaging because it eats into your life. You’re constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure you don’t go anywhere near that past situation.

It prevents you from moving forward because you start to hold onto many negative things. And whether you’re aware of it or not, it will affect your emotions and actions.

I always used to do this. For example, I believed that if someone hurt me once, they’ll do it again. Because of this belief, I always felt on edge or cautious with new people. And that made me act distant or have a barrier up when meeting new people.

Keeping this belief firmly rooted stopped me from so many opportunities. It obviously stopped me from meeting new people, going to new places and exploring new things.

I was limiting my own life by holding onto this belief that negative things will happen again.

Don’t assume that because something bad has happened in the past, that situation will arise again. When I managed to let go of this belief, I became so curious about new people and their lives. I have met incredible people and have had new opportunities sprung my way.

There’s no magical way of letting go of these past events. You have to just do it and see what happens. Give it a test.

It’s 2022 now. Use that as a reason to turn over a new page with nothing there. Or, write down the benefits that would occur if you were to drop this belief today. Simply seeing how useful it is could be enough for you to stop holding this belief to help you move forward in life.

Final Comments

It’s natural for harmful beliefs to come to mind.

Everything around us affects the way we see things, which is why it’s common to have these damaging beliefs.

Just like that, a cycle occurs that stops us from doing things and moving forward.

But the truth is, we can counteract these beliefs. We can work against them. Give things a go or look at the positives from new situations. Know that others have been through these similar moments and come out on top.

There are amazing opportunities ahead and working against these damaging beliefs can help you find them.

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