3 Counter-Intuitive Methods on How Quiet People in the World Achieve Big Goals

Get up a head of steam, so it would be almost easier to keep going than to stop

The achievement of goals by introverts are changing the world.

There comes a time in every introvert’s life when you can decide to start following your passions — scary as that sounds.

I freely expressed myself at home as I felt safe and comfortable.

But at high school, then university, and later in the workplace, I was as quiet as a mouse. I felt invisible.

This quietness stopped me from getting what I wanted — and produced a low-level anger because I never got what I wanted.

I made a (scary) life-changing decision to start following my heart’s desires. I gave life to those things I always wanted to do, but never did.

Here’s how I did it and you can too. While it does take courage, it’s not difficult and doesn’t take a lot of time.

You don’t know what you are doing? Good

Without thinking, do something you know you want to do. Go with the urge to act.

I was living at an ashram in Malavali, India. Doing a 3-year course in Advaita Vedanta (a school of Indian philosophy.)

Each year, there was an open day. Two hundred visitors, mostly from Mumbai, would come to see the ashram and find out about the course.

We felt like monkeys in a zoo.

After lunch, a small number of students gave a talk. This year’s talk was on a story called the Ramayana.

“Who would like to do this year’s talk?” the Indian lady organizing this year’s presentation asked.

I wanted to do it.

A couple of thoughts flashed up into my mind:

• I was always envious of those who did the talk the previous year
• I was good enough to do this myself — even though there was some self-doubt

In quick succession, 3 students raised their hands to indicate they wanted to do the talk.

“Ok, fine, you can all do it. We need one more.”

Without thinking, I shot my arm up into the arm.

“I will do it,” I said nervously.

Unlike the other, she said, “Um, ok, I will come back to you.”

This didn’t go the way I had envisioned. A few students looked at each other and quietly laughed.

I swallowed and nervously grinned.

She came back to me the next day and said I could do it. She said she hesitated before accepting me because the Indian audience may not understand my strong Australian accent.

Finally, after 1 month’s practice, the big day came.

I felt like I was going to vomit from the nerves before the talk. But I was determined to do it. I knew I would enjoy it once I was up on stage.

The nerves quickly died down after 20 seconds into the talk.

It amazed me at how well my talk went! And I loved it.

“Wow, Damian, your part of the talk was so powerful,” was one positive response after the talk.

Lesson: Act on an impulse. Launch into the things you want to do without hesitation.

Ask and it’s given

Ask for help.

I knew I wanted to start running my own events. But didn’t know how or where to start. The whole thought of it was overwhelming.

I attended a men’s walking and talk group.

The leader of the group took a facilitator role, rather than that of a teacher or presenter. At the start of the walk, he did a brief introduction and spoke a little after the walk.

I thought I could do that.

For 4 months, the thought of running my own men’s walk and talk group ran through my mind.

But I couldn’t think of where to start.

One day in the shower, I thought — I could ask for help.

I contacted the person whose group I had attended to ask for guidance.

When I called him, I said I wanted to start a similar group to his. In great detail, I explained my list of doubts:

• I don’t know if I can do it. I feel so nervous
• I am not sure how to organize the event
• I don’t think anyone will turn up

He patiently listened. Without cutting me off.

When I stopped talking, he let out a sympathetic chuckle.

“Don’t worry, it will be ok” he said in a fatherly tone.

I then felt self-assured.

He gave me the contact details of a manager of a local neighborhood house. From this location, I could run the walk from.

Fast forward 2 months.

I was sitting inside the neighborhood house. This was my first Men’s Walk and Talk event. It was 8 am. And my worst fear had come true. Not one person had turned up.

Including 3 of my friends, who said they would attend.

I felt like an idiot. What was I thinking?

I stood up to turn off the lights. I looked down the hallway and saw some movement through the glass door.

I had forgotten to unlock the door!

When I unlocked the door, a stream of men flooded down the hallway.

The first event was a success. 8 months and it’s still going strong.

Receiving help is not a sign of weakness.

Lesson: ask for help.

Ready, set…go

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.”

— Mandy Hale

I started walking over to where we were going to give the workshop. And a sense of calm descended over me.

I have attended many men’s group events over the last 20 years. Therefore, I thought I could do something similar.

I have formed a friendship with someone I met at one of these events. He had read some articles I had written. Turns out he, too, had an interest in men’s health.

He suggested we run a workshop together at an upcoming 4-day men’s event. The thought of this excited me but also made me feel anxious.

I said yes without much thought.

As we sat down in front of 18 men to deliver our first workshop; I took in a deep breath, and I trusted everything would be ok.

“Hi, my name is Damian….”

I gave up control over the outcome. I had no idea how the workshop was going to be received.

The participants stayed for an extra 30 minutes after we had concluded. My co-facilitator and I embraced each other with a warm man hug on a job well done.

You will never know the outcome of an action. No matter how much preparation you do.

Lesson: Give up control of the result.

While most preach the following:

• Thinking things through before acting
• Be independent
• Be well prepared

It may work for some but we don’t all function in the same way.

Others, the quiet ones, can use other ways:

• Act without thinking
• Get support
• Give up control

These (nonsensical) methods will create ripples across the world.

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