3 Baby-Steps To Becoming a Loving LGBTQ Ally

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Step # 1 </b>Remind yourself this is someone you have always loved. This is that person. BREATHE THAT IN. And repeat it as often as you need to. Write it down. Journal about it. Drop me a note- I will gladly help you remember how much you love the person you don’t understand right now. Don’t worry, they are being counseled to work in love as well. Keeping a cold guard because you are terrified won’t help. Let your guard down.</p><p id="52d7"><b>Baby Step #2</b> This has absolutely nothing to do with your parenting, your family tree or whether or not you hold strong beliefs and taught them well. It’s just about your person. Who you love. Before you encounter difficult conversations, remind yourself that none of this is a judgment on you. None.</p><p id="049b"><b>Baby Step #3 </b>Agree to listen to the person across the divide. Even if you need to begin with one sentence at a time. If the time of transition in your lives is creating tension, it is worth every single bit of effort, if that’s what it takes. And it might take every bit.</p><p id="b863">Set a few pre-determined boundaries for the initial conversations. Try to remain casual. Try to listen. These first conversations aren’t the time to panic and respond with anger or isolation. We can work on your feelings soon, but for right now, please just try to remain in the role you have always been- the mom they can cry to, the dad who will protect them. The brother who even skips practice or the sister with the great car and a radio. Be who you are. And listen, with love. You have always loved this person. And you do, right now.</p><p id="0333">Give yourselves a break. Keep the conversation short if tension starts to rise. But talk

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about that before you start. Either one of you has the right to stop this particular conversation, for now.</p><p id="0177">As you work through the pieces of becoming a loving ally, there is only one thing to remember- it really is all about love. But we can throw a lot of things up in our way to prevent us from digging into understanding, so the love can flourish.</p><h2 id="d89d">Walk Away with This:</h2><ul><li>You can do this. Both of you.</li><li>Set boundaries. 15 minutes for the first conversation.</li><li>Remember who you each have always been and give yourselves some slack.</li><li>And your best move right now? Let the other person, the one who is looking to you to share the most significant thing in their life today, Let that one talk.</li></ul><p id="1b5a">Trust me, everyone will be heard and hopefully understood by the time this process is finished. It’s most definitely worth a try. BEFORE your family is destroyed.</p><p id="94e7">Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.</p><p id="76bf">You might appreciate my ALLY series. The first one is just below.</p><div id="47d2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/are-you-an-ally-or-are-you-anonymous-b154a3ed117a"> <div> <div> <h2>Are You an Ally or Are You Anonymous?</h2> <div><h3>How to start standing up for your LGBTQ loved one today.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*tUO9d0twZ7qhUu32YRbgqQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

How to save your family from destruction one day at a time

Understanding is a great way to prevent your family from complete destruction when someone comes out LGBTQ and others are aghast.

And becoming a loving ally is why you’re here, right? Good. I know it is scary and even hard, but I also know we can do this. I usually like to start with talking about some of the myths, which you can see right here.

This whole process can be a lot less tense if we learn to take just a step at a time. Let’s take a look at where you can begin on this unfamiliar journey. Let's start with.

3 Baby Steps to become a loving LGBT advocate.

Baby Step # 1 Remind yourself this is someone you have always loved. This is that person. BREATHE THAT IN. And repeat it as often as you need to. Write it down. Journal about it. Drop me a note- I will gladly help you remember how much you love the person you don’t understand right now. Don’t worry, they are being counseled to work in love as well. Keeping a cold guard because you are terrified won’t help. Let your guard down.

Baby Step #2 This has absolutely nothing to do with your parenting, your family tree or whether or not you hold strong beliefs and taught them well. It’s just about your person. Who you love. Before you encounter difficult conversations, remind yourself that none of this is a judgment on you. None.

Baby Step #3 Agree to listen to the person across the divide. Even if you need to begin with one sentence at a time. If the time of transition in your lives is creating tension, it is worth every single bit of effort, if that’s what it takes. And it might take every bit.

Set a few pre-determined boundaries for the initial conversations. Try to remain casual. Try to listen. These first conversations aren’t the time to panic and respond with anger or isolation. We can work on your feelings soon, but for right now, please just try to remain in the role you have always been- the mom they can cry to, the dad who will protect them. The brother who even skips practice or the sister with the great car and a radio. Be who you are. And listen, with love. You have always loved this person. And you do, right now.

Give yourselves a break. Keep the conversation short if tension starts to rise. But talk about that before you start. Either one of you has the right to stop this particular conversation, for now.

As you work through the pieces of becoming a loving ally, there is only one thing to remember- it really is all about love. But we can throw a lot of things up in our way to prevent us from digging into understanding, so the love can flourish.

Walk Away with This:

You can do this. Both of you.

Set boundaries. 15 minutes for the first conversation.

Remember who you each have always been and give yourselves some slack.

And your best move right now? Let the other person, the one who is looking to you to share the most significant thing in their life today, Let that one talk.

Trust me, everyone will be heard and hopefully understood by the time this process is finished. It’s most definitely worth a try. BEFORE your family is destroyed.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.

You might appreciate my ALLY series. The first one is just below.