Summary

The author expresses contentment with single life, citing the challenges and imbalances she observes in marriages where women often cater to their husbands' needs at the expense of their own well-being and happiness.

Abstract

The article titled "I’m Glad I Don’t Have a Husband" presents the author's perspective on the advantages of being single, particularly as a woman. She recounts stories of friends who endure sleep deprivation, lack of intimacy, and overall neglect in their marriages, suggesting that many men expect and accept a high level of care and attention without reciprocating. The author reflects on the societal expectation for women to prioritize their husbands' comfort and satisfaction, often at the cost of their own health and contentment. She contrasts this with her own experience, concluding that remaining single is preferable to entering a marriage where she would not receive equal care and respect. The piece also notes that studies show married men tend to live longer than single men, while the opposite is true for married versus single women, which the author believes is indicative of the toll that such unequal relationships can take on women's health and longevity.

Opinions

The author believes that many women sacrifice their comfort and needs to cater to their husbands, often leading to a lack of reciprocity in the relationship.
She is critical of the societal norm that expects women to nurture and care for their husbands while receiving little in return.
The author values her independence and the freedom to prioritize her own well-being over a partner's demands.
She is skeptical of the idea that a woman needs a life partner to lead a fulfilling life, emphasizing that single life can be more peaceful and self-fulfilling.
The author points out the double standard in marital expectations, where men may contribute minimally to household duties and emotional support compared to their wives.
She highlights the importance of sexual satisfaction and mutual pleasure in a relationship, criticizing partners who are dismissive of their wives' needs.
The author suggests that the longer lifespan of single women compared to married women may be attributed to the reduced stress and burden of not having to care for a husband.

RELATIONSHIPS

I’m Glad I Don’t Have a Husband

Life is Better Without a Life Partner

My friend Deb recently mentioned that she hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in 24 years.

“Why not?” I asked.

Deb’s husband, as it turns out, can’t fall sleep unless the television is on.

Deb can’t fall asleep if the television is on. But she defers to hubby’s need to watch TV until he slips happily off to dreamland, leaving her to toss and turn.

Every single night.

For 24 years.

“Have you told him that you can’t sleep with the TV on?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said. “Many times.”

So he realizes that she can’t sleep with the TV going. But he doesn’t care.

I wouldn’t put up with that from a man.

Which is probably why I’m single.

Many women feel that life without a life partner just isn’t worth living.

Not me.

When I look at most marriages, even the good ones, it sure looks to me as if the wives are putting a whole lot of energy into taking care of their husbands, and the husbands aren’t exactly reciprocating.

I have a friend whose husband is a window-rattling snorer but insists that she share his bed.

No sleep for her? No problem for him.

If she tries to move down the hall to the guestroom? He throws a big fat mantrum.

I’ve also listened to a lot of women complaining about husbands who wheedle and cajole and sometimes demand sex, even when their wives just aren’t feeling it.

“I usually give in,” one confided, “just to keep the peace.”

I was in a relationship like that once. Never again.

And for too many of these dudes, sex is about taking, not giving. One friend confided that in two decades of marriage, she’d experienced just twelve orgasms during sex with her husband.

“The man had no idea what a clit is,” she told me. “and he didn’t want to learn. As soon as he got his rocks off, the ride was over. When I told him that I never had an orgasm when we made love, his response was, ‘So what?’ That’s not the only reason I divorced him — but it sure didn’t help our marriage thrive.”

It’s not just in the bedroom. It’s everywhere and all the time. Women are taking care of men, deferring to men and doing everything they can to keep hubby happy.

Cooking for them. Shopping for them. Cleaning up after them. Bolstering their egos. Endlessly nurturing them.

In return? The men take out the trash. Do a few home repairs. And accept all this nurturing and pandering and caretaking as their due.

Sure, in my 68 years I’ve seen a few terrific unions, where the partners are equally responsible for the health and well-being of the marriage, and where the men do just as much nurturing and caretaking as their wives.

But those are definitely the exception, not the rule.

Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men.

But? Married women don’t live as long as single women.

I’m not surprised. All of this nurturing and caretaking can wear a person out.

I have several friends, single in their sixties, who have posted their profiles on sites like Match and are busy looking for Mr. Right. And I hope they find what they’re looking for.

As for me?

I’m staying single, thanks.

Writing Coach and editor-for-hire Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)