Why Universal Rules Suck So Badly
They’re meant as these big revelations, but they do very little to help.
Rules have a lot of sway in our lives. They guide a moral compass and frame how we see the world. Some of these rules are spoken out loud while others are societal norms. All in all, these particular rules are pretty obvious things.
But the particular rules that I have a problem with happen a lot within the self-help industry. We call them universal rules.
These rules are flexible in that they are made up on the spot. They are implied again and again. And they are presented in a fashion that regardless of who you are, how much money you have, whether you’re single or married, or the colour of your skin, you can leverage this rule to your advantage and reap amazing benefits.
The most common iteration of this is through specific books over the past 100 years. Books that share a similar vibe to The Secret such as The Power of Positive Thinking, or Think and Grow Rich, or Awaken the Giant Within. These focus on how to become happy and in the case of The Secret, it takes a literal law and twists it into this unspoken rule that seems to be the ultimate key to getting everything that you want in life.
However there are many others out there that many self-help gurus continue to use time and time again. Some just come out of thin air and they continue to use it as if it applies to everything.
Like former psychiatrist Jordan Peterson and his hierarchies where everything in the world has to be pyramid shaped. Or in the case of The Secret confirmation bias on steroids.
While pursuing a goal in life we already know generally what is to be done and how to get there. However it’s these universal rules that are presented as neat tricks or ways to exploit the system that honestly do anything but.
They just suck. Really badly.
It Banks On Us Being Ignorant
As I’ve stressed plenty of times over, everyone would love an easy answer and an easy solution to the problems that we face. If we could climb out of poverty or debt by growing tomatoes in our parent’s basement for two years, we’d probably all be doing it.
What these universal rules actually do is instill us this sense of hope that we might be able to use this particular rule to our advantage. That if we’re consistent with leveraging this rule, that is a more viable strategy than doing the really hard work.
But it’s a problem because it largely banks on us putting far more reliance onto that strategy than if we went through a more traditional method.
In The Secret Byrne talks about how she used manifestation to repair her eye sight, never having to wear glasses ever again.
It sounds great until you realize there is this neat invention called contacts that you could just wear. It takes a few minutes out of your day compared to the weeks you spent manifesting and begging to the Universe for better eye sight.
Or you know, you can just buy some nicer framed glasses. There’s nothing wrong with having to wear glasses. Some might even wear them for show.
The point is, these universal rules depend on us ignoring particular obvious and convenient facts. Facts that are more grounded in reality and are a more sensible approach.
It Denies Your Identity
I wouldn’t go as far as to say self-help is racist, but I’d argue it’s not designed for people of colour all that well. When there is a lack of diversity from some of the more recognized voices in the industry, it leads to advice being narrower and more focused around a specific group.
In this case, with so many popular voices being from white men, a lot of the advice is tinted based on the various privileges that a white man would have. It creates this disconnection that we’ve seen time and time again.
And even with some diversity in these higher echelons, it’s easier to stick to the status quo than to rock the boat.
For the average person using self-help to get ahead, the advice ultimately denies who you are. It can briefly acknowledge what you are going through, but ultimately the advice is disconnected. The universal rules that self-help gurus impose have to make a lot of assumptions and broad strokes.
Hustle bros can preach about working long hours because they typically have a wealth of free time. They can’t comprehend someone has to work two or three jobs just to get by.
Leveraging the law of attraction according to Byrne is a sense of entitlement that by merely thinking about something you automatically deserve it. It equates working hard and developing habits to something that you should have by merely existing and thinking about it. It assumes that you grew up with parents that could provide every little thing you need and you never knew what working means.
Other universal rules are no different where they are mere blanket statements and they’re assumed to be always right. They sound practical, but you end up becoming less of who you were trying to be and become someone completely different. Someone who relies on these same people to guide you and making you think these individuals are great when they’re not.
They’re Not At All Reliable
Serious implementation of these rules can spell disaster for people as Mark Manson mentioned in his hypothetical scenario when using The Secret’s brand of law of attraction. It’s merely using confirmation bias and allowing yourself to be blindsided by faulty advice, danger signs, or obvious pitfalls.
Beyond that, there is the nature of these universal rules themselves as they essentially form part of a guru’s brand. It’s one thing that identifies them and that they use in some regard when offering advice or guidance.
Every guru has these, myself included. These are based on experiences, observations, and biases. They’re meant to convey particular points based on these things.
As general blanket statements, they do their job. But when they are twisted into rules that everyone can simply apply regardless, they start to become shaky. They start to become totally unreliable.
Another clear example of this is emotions. Looking at depression, so many gurus think someone is just really sad. That depression can be worked out of by having goals, being around other people, or just talking about it. And on the surface, that can help.
But that might be fitting only in mild cases. Serious depression is a mental illness that can’t be remedied by any of that.
For a lot of gurus they think negative emotions can just be worked around if you work hard enough, find love, or as a last resort be treated by a few trips to the doctor or medical profession or take medication. The reality is these emotions don’t just go away or that the person needs immediate fixing. There are times where we just feel these things and it’s important to work through them. That might just be sitting there and processing the emotion and the source of it.
As a result, whenever a guru offers blanket emotional advice, it could be totally unreliable. Or as just as reliable as me telling you to stop feeling whatever you’re feeling right now.
Universal rules aren’t going to be going anywhere. They play a necessary role in ones branding in the self-help world, whether their advice is grounded in practicality or not. But regardless of whomever states them, they do suck for a variety of reasons.
That’s not to discredit someone, but rather to use it as a reminder to lean back into the practicality of advice. To have it be a counter balance for yourself and to consider whether what someone is saying is actually helpful for you or not.
Having these checks in place can make a world of difference since it could be the difference of buying an expensive course on how to be living your best life or relying on yourself to reach your own conclusions.
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