I have found two things to be certain when it comes to this site: 1) stories do indeed live forever, and 2) I cannot resist a music prompt even when it’s not a prompt. These two facts crashed into each other over the past few days when I discovered a story by Walter Bowne from May 2021 titled “Rocking Takes No Time at All With These 2 Minute Wonders.” His premise was an interesting one: he wanted to create a playlist containing as many rocking songs as possible with a total duration of an hour to keep time from getting away from him while working on various projects (basically a rock and roll alarm clock).
I have to admit at this point that nowhere in his article does Walter call this a prompt, challenge, or anything remotely similar. But that’s how I took it, and here we are. I am also not challenging any of you to follow my lead; the rabbit hole of songs under three minutes that I fell into last night is something I would wish on no one. Choosing just one of the plethora of sub-three-minute Beatles and Ramones songs nearly drove me mad.
It was even more difficult because I was determined to not duplicate any of Walter’s picks (leaving off Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” was the hardest of all in that regard). And because he was very specific about the songs being “fast,” I had to leave off some slower ones that fit the time limit, including Otis Redding’s “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay,” The Mamas & The Papas’ “California Dreamin’,” and, sadly, the great Sam Cooke’s “Bring it On Home to Me.” Maybe someday I’ll try this again with just slow songs.
All that said, here are the rockers that I managed to wedge exactly into that 60-minute time limit (according to Spotify’s count at least). They are in no particular order of preference or release date, so don’t be shocked when you hear Jimmy Eat World follow The Go-Go’s.
“Runaway” — Del Shannon (1961)
With all due respect to the Beatles and the Ramones, this was the first song that came to mind when I read Walter’s article. I’ve loved it since I was a kid, though the video throws me into a bit of an existential crisis sometimes; when it was recorded, my mom was the same age as the girls with the weird hairdos, and 32 years younger than I am now.
“Real Wild Child” — Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (1993)
I’ve written before about how Joan Jett is the Queen of Covers, and her version of this Iggy Pop song is no exception; she even manages to shave two full minutes off the original. The video above is not the best quality, but seeing her bump into the late, great Joey Ramone at the start is worth it.
“Rumbleseat” — John Cougar Mellencamp (1985)
I almost never write about John Mellencamp, and this song proves that I really should. Roll down the windows and turn this one up.
I thought when Walter led his list off with “Travelin’ Band” it surely meant there would be no CCR in this article. Thankfully, I was very wrong.
“Hazy Shade of Winter”—The Bangles (1987)
Will I use any excuse to include the Bangles in a story? Of course I will, especially when they blow the Simon and Garfunkel original out of the water.
“Lil’ Devil” — The Cult (1987)
Does anyone else remember seeing the video for this Cult scorcher on Beavis and Butt-Head? Just me? Odd.
“Girl Afraid” — The Smiths (1984)
There were several Smiths songs to choose from that clocked in under three minutes, but this is the best of the lot.
“Hang Fire” — The Rolling Stones (1981)
After combing through Stones songs, I chose this overlooked gem from Tattoo You not just because it’s a catchy earworm. As with so much about the Stones, it is clear in the video that only the great Charlie Watts is taking the thing seriously.
“Breaking the Law” — Judas Priest (1980)
Should I still love Judas Priest this much more than half a decade past eligibility for AARP and a senior discount at most restaurants? Of course, I should; after all, Rob Halford is exactly one week from turning 71 and still screaming for vengeance.
“I Can’t Explain” — The Who (1965)
Believe it or not, it wasn’t just in their early days that The Who recorded short songs. Even the 2006 release Endless Wire has several, a few of which come in at less than two minutes. Nothing on that album matches “I Can’t Explain,” of course, nor would you expect it to.
“Subterranean Home Blues” — Bob Dylan (1965)
Far too many today only know the whole cue card flipping trope from the film Love Actually. As with so many other things, Bob Dylan did it first and did it better.
“Oliver’s Army” — Elvis Costello & The Attractions (1979)
I really wanted to include Elvis’s version of the Nick Lowe song “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding” here, as it’s one of my favorites. Unfortunately, it is 30 seconds longer than the parameters allow, so I’ll go with one almost as good.
“Take It As It Comes” — The Doors (1967)
It was a struggle between this one and “Love Street” (one of their most underrated songs in my opinion). In the end, “Take It As It Comes” wins out simply because it rocks harder. A lot harder.
“Eight Easy Steps” — Alanis Morissette (2004)
Nothing Alanis will ever do will get as much attention as her 1995 debut, Jagged Little Pill. That’s a shame because as great as that album was, she’s done some great work in the three decades since, as this song proves.
“Eruption” — Van Halen (1978)
This is the only instrumental on the list, but it absolutely belongs. As any rock fan knows, Eddie Van Halen’s 1 minute and 42-second masterpiece changed music forever.
“You Really Got Me” — Van Halen (1978)
If I had left this one off after “Eruption,” it would have caused a rip in the space-time continuum. You expect this song to follow “Eruption” as much as Queen’s “We Are the Champions” follows “We Will Rock You.”
“Don’t Believe a Word” — Thin Lizzy (live version released 1978)
If you know me, you know I would want a Thin Lizzy song represented. Thankfully, one from the Live and Dangerous album fits the bill.
“Our Lips Are Sealed” — The Go-Go’s (1981)
The entire Beauty and the Beat album is a Post-Punk New Wave masterpiece. It’s one of the best-selling debut albums of all time and “Our Lips Are Sealed” may be its best-known track (along with “We Got the Beat”). When it hit Number One in the US in 1982, it was the first time an all-female band writing their own songs and playing their own instruments had done so. But don’t call them a “girl band;” they are a rock and roll band, full stop, and Gina Schock may be the most underrated drummer ever.
“The Middle” — Jimmy Eat World (2001)
This isn’t just a great song; like “Eight East Steps,” it also proves I have listened to music from this century. Plus, Jimmy Eat World falls broadly into the pop-punk category, and since nothing from Mayday Parade or All Time Low was under three minutes, they win by default.
“The Night Before” — The Beatles (1965)
Choosing one Beatles song to include in any list is like choosing between your children. I have changed it multiple times since I started writing this, but I’m sticking with “The Night Before.” The advantage with the Beatles is that whatever one I picked would have been the right one.
“Rock ’n’ Roll High School” — The Ramones (1979)
There was never a question of having a Ramones song on this list; as with the Beatles, the issue was which one of many to choose. “Rock ’n’ Roll High School” reminds me of the film of the same name, which reminds me of P. J. Soles, which reminds me of her role in Stripes. That’s my favorite Bill Murray movie, so I picked this song (and now you know the strange way my mind works).
“Somebody to Love” — Jefferson Airplane (1967)
Before there was Starship (and that song which shall not be named) there was Jefferson Airplane and this classic song. The only reason the Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow album is not my favorite from 1967 is because a little band called The Doors released their debut the same year.
“Radioactive” — The Firm (1985)
With Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page and Bad Company’s Paul Rodgers making up half of this ’80s supergroup, they really should have lasted for longer than two years and two albums. Page and Rodgers claim this was the plan all along, but I’m not buying it.
“From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come)” — Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (recorded 1979, released 2003)
We close out the hour the only proper way, with Bruce and the E Street Band (you didn’t actually think I’d leave them off, did you?). It was harder finding the right one than I expected; the man loves a long song.
That’s 24 songs in exactly 60 minutes (for the record, one more than Walter had on his list). Once again, given how long the whole process took I am not calling this a prompt. Don’t feel at all pressured to try it Pierce McIntyre, Alex Markham, Kevin Alexander, Terry Barr, Mark Holburn, or Steven Hale. Here’s the playlist:
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