2 Years of Dedication — From Fearing The Gym to Owning My Insecurities
Here’s How Exercise Helped Me Reprogram My Mind For Self-Confidence
“Is anybody looking at me?”
“Do I look awkward?”
“How can I disguise myself?”
“Oh, no. Please, please don’t talk to me.”
These were the questions that were tormenting me everytime I stepped in a gym.
You can call it being shy.
You can call it social anxiety, or even paranoia.
I prefer to call it “lethal gym mix” — one that makes the gym feel like an extremely intimidating place where I’ll never fit in.
Its ingredients include a scoop of shyness, a sprinkle of social anxiety, and a significant portion of extreme reservedness inherited from my mother, who, at the age of 60, still goes for daily walks at 5:30 am because it’s the least likely time to run into known or unknown people in my small Italian hometown.
For the past two years, I’ve been challenging, fighting against, and ultimately chugging down the “lethal gym mix”
Until recently, I realized that its symptoms had (almost) completely disappeared.
‘The secret?’
That there’s no secret.
I simply placed my head in the demon’s mouth from 2 to 3 times a week over the past two years until they dissolved.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage. — Maya Angelou
However, this didn’t happen without facing some obstacles along the way.
In fact, you might be thinking why this process took almost two years.
And the main reason is:
Great results are seldom achieved overnight.
We all know it so well with Medium!
In my case, these were the obstacles that made my progress take fairly long:
- As a woman affected by polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), it’s scientifically much harder to lose weight than it is for those without PCOS. Not to mention the fact that certain types of physical exercise, such as intense cardio, can worsen symptoms. So, I had to take an experimental approach to discover what worked best for me.
- As someone with a digital nomad lifestyle, I couldn’t rely on the stability of a single gym. I had to constantly adapt my fitness routine based on the country I was in. This meant trying various gyms in different countries and dealing with time zone shifts. In 2022 alone, I subscribed to five different gyms!
- Certain gyms, like those in Italy, contributed to worsening my “lethal gym mix” symptoms. The Italian gym culture heavily emphasizes socializing, chatting, and talking, as if people went to the gym for an ‘aperitivo’! This aspect made me even more shy and wanting to avoid attention. On the other hand, gyms in the US or in South Korea, with their deep workout-focused culture, provided a great environment for my success.
What I earned in exchange for my efforts was beyond my expectations:
- The strongest and most fit-looking body I’ve ever had (even compared to my younger days with a faster metabolism!);
- Self-discipline to go to the gym, even on days when I just wanted to stay in pajamas and sleep on the sofa;
- Spontaneous attention to maintaining a mostly healthy diet. I’ve never been the kind of person who could follow strict food regimens, but now I have a genuine interest in nourishing my body well to support my physical activity;
- A heightened and genuine interest in disease prevention and longevity. It might sound boring, but when I started reading left and right that working strength and cardio is one of the most important activities in order to “age well”, I felt like it was something non-negotiable;
- Enhanced confidence that I can tackle difficult challenges. This is such an important one as the enhanced self-confidence and determination gained in the gym started rippling into other aspects of my life. (Besides, now I know how hard it can be to put on gym clothes when it’s cold and rainy outside!);
- Most surprisingly, the confidence to walk into a gym and focus on my workout, rather than worrying about what others might think of me (which now seems absurd!).
Additional tips
There have been other things that have helped me on my journey to gain self-confidence at the gym and achieve a better shape:
- Music Selection: for me, Reggaeton music is the perfect workout soundtrack. It keeps me energized and focused, although I have to resist the urge to start dancing. Find the genre that motivates you the most and helps you stay active.
- Workout Attire: While I can’t bring a ton of workout sets with me due to my lifestyle being constantly on the move, having a couple of nice sets can boost your confidence. You don’t need a vast collection; just having a few sets you feel good in can make a difference.
- Time Management: Avoid procrastinating until it gets dark. If you can only go to the gym later in the day, prepare everything in advance during the afternoon. Darkness can be a motivation killer for some, so I prefer working out during my lunch break or, if I go at night, I make sure not to procrastinate when getting ready.
- Accountability buddy: seeing my partner being very committed to working out has definitely kept me accountable and inspired me to stick to my goals. In lack of a partner, pick a friend, a work colleague, or a family member! Gym enthusiasm is contagious.
- Mindset: if you lack self-confidence or experience anxiety at the gym like me, remind yourself that “nobody doesn’t give a s***t about you.” Everyone is so obsessed with their own life and problems that the last thing they want to do is analyze your behaviors. Repeat this mantra to yourself when needed.
- Focus on Your Goals: do you want to feel like you belong and you have the right to feel good in a gym? Do you aim to achieve the body shape you desire, improve your mood, and promote longevity? If the answer is yes, don’t give up. Stay committed to your goals.
Closing Thoughts
My journey to gaining self-confidence at the gym and achieving a better shape has been a transformational experience.
After putting in the work for almost two years, I have now seen results I could have never imagined for myself, including a great shape and improved health, increased energy, enhanced self-esteem, and reduced anxiety about what other people might think of me.
Remember that your journey is unique, and what works for me might need some adjustments for your situation. The key is to stay committed to your goals, stay motivated, and enjoy the process.
Over time, the enhanced self-confidence and determination gained in the gym will ripple into other aspects of your life, helping you live a healthier and more fulfilling life.