I Was Living the Life You See On Instagram… And I Didn’t Know It?

Story of a Sudden Realization

Some of you may be familiar with the story known as “The Fisherman and the Businessman”:

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.

“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman.

“You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”

“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer. “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”

“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.

“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”

Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”

For Years, I Have Been Caught in the Trap of Not Having Enough

For years, I have been convinced I didn’t have enough:

• When I was unemployed after graduating, I thought, “I’ll be happy when I get a good job!”
• Once I secured a job at a prestigious intergovernamental organization, working in a shiny skyscraper, I thought, “My office job is rather boring; if I could only travel more!”
• When that job introduced hybrid remote working within Europe, I thought, “I’ll be happier when I have a fully-remote job and I’ll be able to travel anywhere in the world!”
• Upon resigning and getting a proper fully-remote job, with the freedom to travel anywhere, I thought, “I’ll be happy when I earn more money to travel even more comfortably!”
• After getting promoted and improving my salary, I still felt dissatisfied, thinking, “It’s not enough — my European salary in a city like New York is still nothing — I need to earn more while having the flexibility to travel anywhere, and it would also be good if I were fully asynchronous!”

And the story goes on.

What I Was Missing Was the Big Picture

By the time of my realization, I had been achieving more or less all the goals I had set in my mind: a prestigious job out of university, a fully-remote job after that, the possibility to travel to a ton of countries including the US (where I had to spend a few months a year due to my partner’s job), and a promotion.

Of course I had to comply with a few rules. For example, I couldn’t be fully asynchronous due to my company’s clients being based mainly in Europe.

Nevertheless, I was constantly feeling trapped in comparison-driven details.

For example, when in New York City, I couldn’t help myself but feeling bad for not having a high enough salary that would allow me to live more comfortably in the City.

The fact that the lifestyle of many who live in NYC isn’t close to the freedom I have all year round, and the reality that I only have to spend two or three months a year in the City while the rest of my time is spent in places I can more easily afford, weren’t enough to relieve my self-loathing.

My mind was stuck.

Once I Obtained All the Things I Want “What Will My Reward Be?”

I was recently in Italy at my parents’ house when I suddenly looked around.

We were having lunch in the garden, with the beach just a few steps away.

On the table, there was the fish that my dad had just caught that morning.

Vegetables from his farmer friend.

Olive oil my family had self-produced.

The sun and the breeze were completing the painting.

Just like the tale of the fisherman and the businessman, I imagined being asked, “Once I obtained all the things I want ‘what will my reward be?’” and my answer was “I would travel for some time of the year and I would enjoy the rest of the time in Italy with my family and friends eating healthy food.”

And then I pictured the fishermand asking me, “And what do you think you’re doing right now?”

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