2 Elements That Helped Me Bring My Dating Life To The Next Level

How to set the right mindset and finally attract the women you want

There are these moments in our lives in which we don’t know what to do next to get to the desired outcome.

And because of that we often don’t take action.

We allow our fear of failure and our indecisiveness to stop us from acting.

Unfortunately, I’ve repeated this a few times in my life. It’s not only about ideas and getting ahead in your business life, but this counts also when it comes to dating:

It took me a long time — almost until I was 21 — until I figured I was missing out on a lot of opportunities to meet the type of women I truly desired.

I tried Online-Dating, but for some reason, I felt this was not the way how I wanted to get to know new girls. Some dates from Tinder and Lovoo were good, but the majority of them felt superficial and impersonal, without any deeper connection.

Up to that point, I heard about pickup strategies and that there was a movement of men who went out frequently to approach women on the street and flirt with them in broad daylight.

Back when I was single, I’d see an attractive woman walking towards me on the street, and I’d simply let her pass by instead of talking to her.

My anxiety would always tell me that it’d be terrible if she rejected me when I approached her. The fear of publicly embarrassing myself because everyone in the area would have seen it was degrading my courage.

I’d also let horror scenarios of her reacting harshly and telling me to get away limit my ability to get over my comfort zone.

My fear would tell me things like ‘she must have a boyfriend’ or ‘she doesn’t want to hang out with me anyway’ too. But the truth is, we can never know that beforehand.

Afterward, I’d then terrorize myself for not doing it and daydream about all the great things that could have happened if it actually worked out:

She’d react positively, we’d have a connection, a cool conversation, exchange phone numbers, and an exciting date later that week.

But that was never a possible outcome until I fully understood I had to conquer my fears of getting rejected to reach my goal of meeting my desired type of woman.

So one day I finally decided to take responsibility and talk to girls on the street.

Never care about the outcome

The mindset that “rejection” is not a bad thing is a very powerful component when it comes to dating advice.

The obstacles that your mind puts up are just the keys to personal growth.

Once I realized that rejection is just such a natural thing on this planet and integrated this into my mindset, everything got easier and less uncomfortable.

We actually live in a world full of rejection.

How tiny would the global economy be if every salesperson in the world would have given up after the first time they got rejected by a customer?

Even the earth’s gravitation, forcing you to stay on the ground, is a form of rejection.

I was always so afraid of the public embarrassment that I had never taken action before, but after the first few girls I talked to, I found that it was the easiest thing to do, nobody standing next to us recognized it and until today, I never felt embarrassed when I did it.

From a friend and colleague, who was working as a successful dating coach too, I learned that the most important thing was to never worry about the outcome. Instead, when you decide to talk to women on the street, you should always focus on one thing:

Not overthinking it and doing it — which means if you managed to simply say “Hello” to her, you’ve won.

What comes afterward is beyond your power. You can’t control if she‘s got a boyfriend or whatever reason for not getting to know you.

From the moment I knew about this, I decided to follow a simple rule, which made my dating life so much easier ever since.

The 3-second rule

Whenever you’re seeing an opportunity to talk to a woman you find attractive don’t allow yourself to overthink it any longer than three seconds. Then, without hesitation do it. You should not even care about what to say, because that doesn’t matter.

From then on, whenever I saw an attractive person on the street, I didn’t wait any longer than 3 seconds, approached them, and had a quick conversation, complimenting them.

Was it always successful? — Heck, no! I was rejected way more often than it worked. It’s just normal. And many women have a boyfriend already.

Was it embarrassing? — Never.

Did I get the success with women that I wanted? — Yes!

Did it make me fearless? — No.

Was it way less scary, because I had no time to overthink the outcome? — YES.

Did it bring me ahead? — Very much.

Count to three and start

When you’re struggling to motivate yourself to study for an exam, count to three, and start.

Whenever you’re afraid to make an important phone call, count to three, and start dialing.

Whenever you don’t feel like working out, but you know that your health and mind would benefit from it, count to three, put your shoes on, get your equipment and start.

Whenever you’re afraid of jumping off a cliff into the sea. Count to three and do it. That’s real courage. Your brain is tricked by that technique and it’s easier than you think.

I’ve witnessed on myself how much more numbers, and therefore more dates, I got. So I can promise that if you implement the 3-second rule in your life, you’re not only meet more attractive women, you’re also getting way more confident, you’re having more fun, more memorable adventures and you’re going to be less afraid of challenges.

Bottom Line

Most of the time, if we are not where we want to be in our dating lives, it’s because of a lack of taking action.

I hope I could show you that it’s not a big deal to meet a new potential partner everywhere throughout the day too, and not only at your workplace or in a nightclub.

What are you going to take away from that?

Will you talk to the next woman you find attractive on the street?

You can do it, and the outcome is irrelevant. You must take action and responsibility if you want to bring your dating life to the next level.