16 Powerful Reasons To Love Your Parenting Self

Read this today and fall in love with your ‘MOM-me’ again

Dear parenting self,

I’m playing many ‘me’-roles at the moment, and one of them is the ‘MOM-me’ version as a first-time parent with all its emotional turmoil — from frustration to hilarity 👶 👧.

Laura Fox asked in this month’s prompt parents (e.g. Molly Coyle Shibley Paulo Costeri Katrina Bos Stacey B Edward Riley answered) to write a love letter to their parenting self. And I thought: let’s give it a try! I’m ready. But did it come easily? No, it hasn’t always felt that way.

Making A Declaration Of Love To Myself Hasn’t Come Naturally

Since I became a mom, making a declaration of love to myself hasn’t come naturally, often because I felt as if I wasn’t capable of being a ‘perfect mom’. As if I couldn’t manage anything anymore, like before.

But what is a ‘perfect mom’ anyway?

I had trouble defining a ‘perfect mom’. Is it the glorious Instagram mother with her immaculate outfits and apparently perfect motherhood skills? No!

In the hazy and intense, early days of motherhood, I was so busy raising my baby that I no longer had an outside view of myself and my situation.

I was trying to be the best possible ‘MOM-me’ version.

We’re Crunch Time Parents, Aren’t We?

Now, as my baby is growing and getting older, I have some time to rethink my situation, take a look from the outside at myself, my family, and our past together.

In the past few months, I’ve heard so often from new mothers that they feel like they’re living in a permanent ‘crunch time’, of not being capable of managing everyday life with their baby. That’s exactly how I felt in the beginning: the laundry basket was overflowing, the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it, the baby was crying.

My ‘Imperfections’ Are A Gift For My Baby — Because That’s What Makes Me

Like many other mothers, I’d also imagined my pregnancy and the first months with my newborn baby quite differently. With the birth of our baby in the middle of last year, our world was turned upside down.

Nothing can prepare you for the surreal moment when you leave the hospital and carry your baby home. In this moment my life had changed — forever.

Suddenly, I felt the heaviest burden of responsibility upon my shoulders and my heart that I had ever felt. And there was an indescribable ongoing emotional shift towards my little one, whom I wanted to caress and protect forever.

Moreover, I felt consumed by my child. The world seemed to have shrunk from one moment to the next to the size of our little apartment.

I will be honest: I wondered how somebody so small could take up all the space with its crying and giggling.

Juggling hundreds of balls in the air without dropping one. Is that even possible?

Juggling hundreds of balls in the air: the Sisyphean household chores, acting as a full-time daycare center for my boy, and the demands of being a wife, daughter, and friend.

I tried to do everything perfectly just as I had done in my job as a manager in an international firm. But I quickly learned better and realized that it was no longer the things that were important to me before, but completely new things, that I was now mastering. I discovered that my so-called ‘imperfections’ are a gift for my baby because that’s what makes me.

16 Reasons To Love Your Perfectly Imperfect Parenting Self

Note: (to all the other mothers out there) pin this list to your bedside table if you start crying at night (or during the day!

1. You’ve created a person 👶.
2. You care.
3. You create basic trust and wonderful conditions for a new life.
4. You invest all of your time and loads of calories.
5. You spend the entire day with another person than yourself.
6. You cuddle, kiss, and carry a little human being.
7. You stay up late more nights than when you were 18 to breastfeed or caress your boy’s belly.
8. You thwart major diaper disasters.
9. You survive daily purée-mageddons and manage to feed the predator.
10. You even get pee and poo on you and don’t complain.
11. You get regularly slapped in the face with a rubber giraffe and respond with a smile.
12. You even smile back when your baby boy pulls your hair around his body.
13. You throw yourself onto your baby, as if it was a crocodile, to brush his crocodiles teeth.
14. You wipe away his crocodile tears.
15. You would give your life for your baby.
16. … the list goes on.

Final Thoughts About Imperfect Moms

The work you’re doing over the course of your baby’s lifetime is transformational.

From day to day, you’re helping your child to gain confidence, trust, and independence by providing him with a safety net that he doesn’t even know is there. Without that, he couldn’t reach his personal milestones with a smile on his face. That’s altruistic, isn’t it? In everything you do, your baby and his needs come first.

I think that’s beyond perfect. That’s purely your wonderful parenting self.

Just as your mommy life is full of success and failure, your baby’s life will also be filled with ups and downs. The least you can do is love your giant mommy heart and your perfectly imperfect self — because YOU are the true gift for your children.

Try to fall in love with your perfectly imperfect ‘MOM-me’😘👶 👧.

Best,

Kristina

PS: Is there anything you would like to add to the list?

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