15 Life Lessons from the Depths of Self-Quarantine
Can you relate?
There’s no point in suffering through a global crisis if you don’t learn something from it. “No challenge, no change,” as my virtual barre instructor likes to say.
And accumulating knowledge without sharing it is a shame. So, here are fifteen realizations I’ve come to during 129 days quarantine. Hopefully they help you come out of the pandemic better than you started.
1. It’s easy to burn out.
If you’ve been working from home, you know you’re at risk of working too much rather than not enough. You wouldn’t be alone, either. More than 50% of people who work from home show symptoms of burnout. I’m also guilty. If left unchecked, I will work seven days per week.
If you exhibit any of these warning signs: procrastination, declining performance, apathy, exhaustion, or an inability to disconnect, you may be experiencing burnout. If the concept of a work-from-home “hangover” resonates with you, it’s time to set boundaries.
Since March 11, U.S. workers have been at their desks for an extra three hours per day. Feelings of burnout don’t just come from work, however. Screens are a big culprit. Be wary of how much time you’re spending watching the news, scrolling social media, or refreshing the unemployment website.
Fortunately, there’s an antidote to burnout — self-care. Speaking of which…
2. Neglecting self-care has consequences.
Some of us have less time for self-care than others. Still, if you ignore this physiological need altogether, there will be consequences.
I’ve learned this lesson the hard way on multiple occasions. There was the time I had a caffeine-induced seizure in the Atlanta airport. Once, I collapsed from exhaustion during a work-out class. And last year, I tripped, fell, and broke my foot while severely jet-lagged and sleep-deprived in Amsterdam.
But now, I’ve realized that you can put your health and well-being last even if you never leave the house.
After noticing increasingly dark circles under my eyes during quarantine, I snapped into action, instituting a rule of getting eight hours of sleep per night.
What do you need? Do what you feel. Maybe it’s time to take a break from alcohol, pause your Postmates account, book a massage, or spend more time in nature. Whatever you decide, do something.
Please take care of yourself. Wear a mask, but also put your proverbial oxygen mask on — before trying to save the world and help everyone else.
3. Busyness is a sinister form of procrastination.
I’ve racked up a hefty list of things I’ve been meaning to do when I “had time.” But now that I do, I realize I’ve been using busyness to procrastinate for years. Otherwise — four months into lockdown — wouldn’t I have crossed more off of my to-do list by now?
If you, too, are single without kids and with nowhere to go, it’s time to face facts.
What are you still putting off doing? Can you find one day per week or one hour per day to whittle away at something that’s been nagging you for years?
Whether that means getting in shape, writing your book, cleaning the garage, or starting that side hustle, everyone has a thing they know they need to do. If you have extra time and haven’t started yet, accept that you’ve been procrastinating under the guise of busyness, pick something to work on, and get to it.
4. Creating deep connections with fewer people is more fulfilling than maintaining shallow friendships.
When I was thirteen, my family moved from Vero Beach to St. Augustine, FL. It was a precarious time, as I was about to start the 8th grade. I remember my parents worrying about if my siblings and I would be able to make friends at our new schools (ah, the good ‘ol days).
My response was to overcompensate by being extra friendly and outgoing. This effort earned me the title of “Most Outgoing” my senior year.
But now that I’ve been home alone for four months, I’ve realized I’m an introvert. I don’t need thousands of acquaintances, and you don’t either. But we all need a few good friends for life.
So don’t worry about keeping up with fake friends over Zoom. You’ll expend less energy and find more fulfillment if you invest more time in yourself and your inner circle.
5. It’s okay to say “no” to people.
Before the pandemic, my calendar was booked through September with conferences, festivals, speaking engagements, a high school reunion, and more. I wanted to do some of these things but felt compelled to do others. But it turns out that most meetings, social engagements, and playdates have been optional all along.
If you’ve always had a hard time saying “no” to people because you thought you were letting them down, I hope you reconsider.
Life is short, and then you die. Cherish the time you have. Spend it how you want. Conserve your energy for what really matters.
An assertive “no” shouldn’t offend anyone. And if it does, that’s their problem.
6. Traveling, commuting, and eating out wreak havoc on your body and mind.
Pre-coronavirus, I traveled to an average of ten countries per year and ate out at least once per day — even if it was just passing by Starbucks. As a result, I started experiencing health issues, from weight gain to higher cholesterol. That shouldn’t come as a surprise, though, because business travel is linked to obesity and poor health markers (including higher HDL levels!).
Commuting wrecks your health, too. A scant twenty-six minutes spent on the road per day can lead to an increase in anxiety, depression, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar.
Traveling less and cooking more during quarantine should give your body and mind a chance to recover.
Since I haven’t been on a plane since January and I’ve been cooking 95% of my meals, I’ve lost eight pounds. After trying to lose weight for years, it started falling off naturally.
When traveling again in the future, make sure to go at a pace that works for you and keep your diet in check.
7. You don’t need to go to the gym (or an office).
You can work and work out from home just fine. In fact, countless studies show that people are more productive working from home — and happier (as long as you don’t burn out).
When it comes to exercise, it’s possible that finding time to go to the gym was a way to not go. Now that your living room doubles as a fitness studio, you can work out any time of day or night without having to fight traffic or stress about making it off the Soul Cycle waiting list.
8. Having a routine is of utmost importance.
“Humans are hard-wired to crave stability and dependability.” — AltaMed.org
Humans thrive on routines — from birth until death. Staying home all day makes sticking to a schedule even more important, however.
Parkinson’s Law states that “work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” Make the most of your time by adding structure to your day and setting deadlines for your work.
UNICEF recommends setting consistent times to work, study, eat and sleep. If you have kids, try to get them on the same schedule. Limit your device use and set aside time for breaks, self-care, and human connection as well (see Lessons 1–4).
I also recommend adding in buffer time in case a task goes over or if you just want to do nothing for a while.
9. You were wasting a bunch of money before.
You may be bored, frustrated, and stressed at the state of the world (or at least the U.S.), but hopefully, you haven’t been spending as much money as you used to. Whether that’s by necessity, choice, or lack of anything to do, chances are your bank account balance is thanking you.
If you have a full-time job right now, take this opportunity to save and invest more or pay down loans. If you’re between jobs, you’ve likely already cut back on unnecessary subscriptions and discretionary spending.
Sure, splurging is a sweet treat once in a while, but the pandemic has helped me cut my expenses in half and live like a minimalist. I’m grateful to have food on the table and a roof over my head. I can do without everything else right now.
Consumer spending is vital for the economy, but most of us were overdoing it. Credit card applications were down 40% in June, and that’s probably a good thing.
If you have extra cash, try donating it to others in need. It’s going to a good cause and will boost your mood, too.
10. It’s possible to live without sex or a partner.
If you’ve ever been single-shamed, you may be breathing a sigh of relief right now that a relationship is one less thing to worry about.
I haven’t had sex since February. Maybe you haven’t either (whether you’re coupled or not). But, you know what? I’m still here. All is well. It turns out that living alone could be the best thing that’s happened to me during the pandemic.
Yes — I miss dating and human intimacy. And having a good support structure at home or a partner-in-crime would be nice. But I’ll survive.
11. You may be an introvert. But it’s more likely that you’re an ambivert.
If you don’t have to social distance or stay inside anymore, but you’re doing it anyway, you may be an introvert. There’s nothing wrong with that (see Lesson #4). But psychologists say it’s more likely that you’re an ambivert, which comprises up to two-thirds of the population.
It’s also possible that you’re a situational introvert, and that being in quarantine has brought out your quiet, reflective side.
Whether you’re an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert, it’s all good. None are a “deficiency of any kind.” Preferring more alone time is a choice. Lockdown has simply given us more time to figure it out.
12. You’re more creative, resourceful, and adaptable than you thought.
After months in lockdown, you’ve done something you’ve never done before. Whether you’ve learned how to cut your own hair, fix the washing machine, or go a weekend without partying, you’ve pleasantly surprised yourself at some point during this ordeal. Pat yourself on the back because there’s more where that came from.
Homo sapiens “may be the most adaptive species.” Every time the human race has faced a challenge throughout history, we’ve bounced back “more successful and adaptive than ever.”
So remember that this, too, shall pass. Take this time to step out of your comfort zone, take some measured risks, and do something new!
Start with replacing one hour of Netflix per week with exploring your creativity and ingenuity and see what happens.
13. The news, TV, and social media make you feel definitively worse.
If it wasn’t clear before that the news wrecks your mood, it should be now. Binge-watching Netflix is a temporary distraction from reality. And scrolling social media will send you into a downward spiral of despair.
After feeling worse after watching Tiger King, I decided to limit myself to one episode of a show per week and one news check-in per day (for no more than fifteen minutes).
A severe media diet might not work for everyone, but the 24-hour news cycle is messing with your head.
Our brains are capable of processing a limited amount of information every day. If you’ve felt lonely, depressed, or overwhelmed during quarantine, social media is almost certainly exacerbating those symptoms.
For tips on ending device addiction, check out this article or this podcast.
14. Drinking is bad for you.
If you were going out a lot to happy hour, bars, and boozy dinners before the quarantine started, chances are you’ve noticed that you’re more sensitive to alcohol these days.
I used to drink socially at least once per week. But drinking at home by myself isn’t as fun, so I stopped.
Now, I notice that if I drink at all — even a glass of wine or two — I feel depressed (sometimes for days). Then, to cure my hangover, I get the urge to drink again the next day. What the heck?
My alcohol tolerance has plummeted to depths not seen since I was a teenager.
If you are struggling with Life Lessons 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, and 13, you may want to consider cutting back on alcohol. A 2018 study in The Lancet concluded that “no amount of drinking” is good for you. The more you drink, the higher the health risk.
I know it’s tempting to throw caution to the wind and get lit in lockdown, but drinking isn’t helping anything. (Sorry.)
Good news, though:
15. There’s a lot to be grateful for.
The most important thing the pandemic has taught me is there’s still a lot to be thankful for.
If you’re alive, healthy, and safe with food to eat, that’s a start. If your friends and family are safe, even better.
No matter how dire your situation is, there’s always something to be grateful for. If you can’t think of anything, start a gratitude journal. Reflecting on what you’re grateful for is scientifically proven to improve your mental and physical health.
Need some tips to get started? Here’s how you can be thankful every day, even when you don’t feel like it.
