14-WORD STORY PROMPT

14 Tiny Valentine’s Day Stories to Distract You From Your Crippling Loneliness

You absolute loser

Listen, I won’t jerk you around with some long intro paragraph.

You’re smart, you get it. You’re forever alone, of course. AND unlovable. But smart.

Good for you.

14 Valentine’s Day Stories — 14 Words Each

1. She held the bouquet of roses. Now I have to find a fucking vase?
2. My arrow got you! Now you’re in love. I’m BLEEDING, Cupid! You flying shitbag!
3. This heart-shaped box is not anatomically correct. I should know. I have a Ph.D.
4. You killed the mood. Was it completely necessary to say “Victoria’s Secret uses sweatshops”?
5. His partner gasped as John got down on one knee… and adjusted his Crocs.
6. The Olive Garden date went badly. There IS a limit to the “unlimited breadsticks.”
7. “To my beloved dumpster fire”? Where did you get this card? Hallmark MADE this??
8. The gas station was out of roses. Here’s some beef jerky and a Gatorade.
9. Dear Mom, my first Valentine. No woman compares to you. Sincerely, every wife-beater ever.
10. I love you to the moon, but not back. That’s just too goddamn far.
11. Thank you for the candy hearts. I especially like “Be Mine” and “Hail Satan.”
12. Take this necklace back to the store, you fool! These aren’t real blood diamonds.
13. “I love you beary much?” That’s it. I’m setting this teddy bear on fire.
14. Fun Fact: Saint Valentine was brutally beaten and then beheaded. Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!

This prompt was for 10-word stories but I did 14 because I do what I want!

Thank you for tagging me in the prompt, KrystalVaseFilledWithBlackRoses!

Here is Krystal’s:

“Well, this is awkward. Two Valentine bouquets clutter my desk.”

And here is Shereen Bingham’s original prompt:

“Their exes all receive heart shaped boxes of sour grapes.”

Finally, thanks Mark Suroviec, M.Ed. for the Crocs inspiration:

“Here are twenty-four ways to transform your Crocs from fashion faux pas to the Swiss Army Knife of footwear.”