14 Things You Need To Know If You’re Going Through A Dark Night of The Soul

“For the first time in your life, you’re not following a script — you’re creating your own.”

1. A dark night of the soul happens when your old self is slowly dying, yet your new self hasn’t yet materialized. So if you’re going through one, it means you were not living in alignment with your true self.
2. Your authentic self is finally coming up to the surface, and that can be terrifying when you’ve spent years ignoring its presence. That means you need to shed some pretty heavy layers of ideas and beliefs that you have applied your whole life but are not serving you anymore.
3. I know it probably doesn’t feel like it, but this is for your highest good. You can’t expect to embody the purest, brightest version of yourself without leaving some darkness behind first.
4. Thoughts like “what is the purpose behind this?” come from your ego — the part of you that dislikes change and wants you to stay as “safe” as possible. One of the biggest lessons behind your dark night is to learn how to manage this voice.
5. You’ll realize most of us spend our lives running away from ourselves. We can’t stand the idea of being alone with our own thoughts and emotions, so we do whatever it takes to keep ourselves busy. That’s probably what you have been doing.
6. You have lost your sense of direction, but that’s a good thing. The direction you were headed was not really yours. All the goals and plans you had were simply the result of many external forces — your family, friends, society, past relationships, and childhood conditioning. This means that for the first time in your life, you’re not following a script — you’re creating your own. And that’s amazing! These external forces are losing their power over you, and you’re reconnecting with your inner guidance system.
7. Be open to the lessons the Universe is teaching you. It usually has to do with something you’ve been ignoring or denying. Ask yourself: where do your emotions come from? What aspects of yourself have you been suppressing?
8. Our loved ones can be the most resistant to our growth. When you’re growing, your family and friends will, often unintentionally, try to keep you the same instead of supporting your growth. They’ll give you feedback that reinforces unhealthy patterns, they’ll act like you’re not changing for the better, and they’ll make you feel guilty for finally being able to say “enough is enough” and staying true to yourself.
9. The more you surrender to the transformation you’re experiencing, the more you realize you have unlimited potential. Dreams that once were unachievable now begin to look attainable. Goals that once were mere fantasies now make you feel excited about what’s coming.
10. Your inner wisdom has all the answers you need, even when you’ve been ignoring it for years. Even when there’s too much noise around you. Even when your present reality is incredibly painful. Even when you don’t trust your inner experiences. You just need to start paying attention to it again, and that takes time.
11. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself for not being able to live your old life behind overnight, focus on making small, consistent choices that deeply align with the person you are becoming. That’s how real change takes place. It can be tempting to believe that you should make drastic decisions in order to change your life — which only reinforces your fear of making these decisions. From my experience, this couldn’t be further from the truth. A dark night is all about rebuilding your sense of self, and your sense of self will not be built with drastic decisions. It will be built with courage and commitment.
12. Accept that your body is asking you to rest. This is not the time to judge yourself because you’re always tired and don’t have the energy you once had. It’s the time to pause, integrate your lessons, and make sense of your experience.
13. Be careful about the content you consume. Unfortunately, most people don’t acknowledge the importance of being aware of our trauma and emotional triggers. It’s easy to feel invalidated, misunderstood, or even plain crazy when you’re going through a dark night — so feed your soul with content that either inspires you, validates your feelings, or expands your knowledge.
14. There is no growth without discomfort, and there’s no healing without pain. I know you’re tired of this journey. But hang in there, just a little bit longer. It will be over soon, I promise.

Thank you for reading!

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