12 Mind-Blowing Truths You Won’t Learn Until You’ve Had Therapy
One friend’s sessions create a healthy-minded group chat.
My friend goes to therapy.
Now, she drops gems of wisdom in the group chat. We are better because of our friend’s decision.
What does she say in the discussions when we’re having guy troubles?
Here’s a peak at some of her best tips.
#1. Effort creates expectations.
Have you ever offended someone over something you consider petty? It’s because invisible strings got attached to this or previous kindness. People don’t feel bad for helping. They dislike that their unsaid expectations didn’t get met.
#2. Even toxic ex-partners offer comfort.
I know you think it is wild when people return to relationships after all the mistreatment. But ex-partners offer comfort. Though it hurts every time infidelity or abuse happens. The other person feels safe knowing what their spouse can do to them.
#3. Never react.
It’s true. It drives toxic people crazy. But this is the little-known incredible change it creates. Your silence causes aggressors to reflect. They then see the error in their behavior. But some choose not to apologize or mention they were wrong to you.
#4. Deep connections aren’t forever.
Like everything else, deep connections need maintenance. The couple needs to grow into their best selves together. Or it won’t last.
#5. You can’t speak against your dreams and easily have them come to you.
You’ll talk good things and people out of your life because of the words you utter aloud. When you speak against hope, you entertain fear, rejection, and despair. Good things go where good things already exist. Thus, you’ll have to fight to get and keep what you have if your instinct is to complain.
#6. Pick yourself first; people like confidence.
Have you ever behaved like a “pick-me woman or man”? It’s because you haven’t accepted yourself yet. So, you think it is a must to act unlike others if you are to get the attention of the opposing gender.
#7. Stop being a billboard of kindness for others.
Some of us aren’t only niche educators. We aim to teach others through our behavior. It’s the reason you feel so drained. You don’t need to share your gentle soul and generous heart with everyone. Some people are vampires. Protect yourself with distance and boundaries.
#8. Relationship statuses don’t reflect all realities.
Are you in a partnership but doing all the work yourself? You’re single. It’s up to you to decide if having this someone around is worth it.
#9. Your reasons cause your triggers.
If a breakup or relationship pause doesn’t bother you anymore, you are (successfully) protecting your peace and minding your business. You won’t care what the other person does or doesn’t do. If you separate to teach someone a lesson, anything the person does will annoy you. Your reasons were wrong and unhealthy. You can move on when you value your mental health over being needed by someone else.
#10. Most people get fun wrong.
In relationships, you play with your partner like a child. But you talk to and treat them like an adult. Many people do the opposite, which is why fights are so frustrating.
#11. Let all your beliefs manifest good things in your life.
Too many people hope for karma to take care of the ones who hurt them. You won’t be happy if you find out that person is doing well. Instead, entertain thoughts of winning. And hope to have your aggressor/ex-partner see you achieving all your goals.
#12. Change yourself first.
Most people distance themselves from toxic unions. Then, end up in similar situations with new people. The first distancing needs to be internal. Breakup with your negative train of thought; so you can say words that encourage positive relationships.
Thank you for reading this post.
© Annie Wegner 2022-Present.
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