12 Interesting Facts About Sex In Medieval Times
You’ll be glad you weren’t born back then.
It’s hard to imagine that the most natural act of love between human beings was viewed so differently just a few centuries ago. From a cultural perspective too, sex has gone through a huge change. In the Medieval period from the 5th century to the 15th century in Europe, things were a lot different than they are today.
There were some do’s and don’ts, there were some rules, there were some etiquettes which might seem hilarious today. I’m not sure how those people used to track if any rules were broken but I guess there was some sort of awareness spread among people by the church that told them about the repercussions for sexual sins after death.
But trust me after reading these twelve surprising facts that I’ve compiled, you’ll be glad that you weren’t born in those times.
*Please note that all facts are backed by external sources and references.
1. The missionary was the only legal sexual position.
The only sexual position which was deemed legal by the Catholic Church was the missionary. I mean can you believe it? They thought missionary was the only way to go because other positions may confuse gender roles or emphasize the pleasurable aspects of the act since sex was considered just an engine of procreation.
2. Sex before marriage was death.
Sex before marriage was a big no. It still is today for people in certain religions and cultures. But if you were caught having sex back then before getting married then you’d be executed by disembowelment.
3. Erectile dysfunction meant you’re done for life.
With all the medical advancements in the world today, erectile dysfunction is treatable. But back then if you had this problem, the Church would send the best medical experts to your home and give your thingy a thorough check-up. If you got better then great, but if you didn’t, then your marriage was over, and so were your chances of having sex in the future.
4. Condoms were made of animal parts and cloth.
The Church back then and even today considers the use of a condom or anything that stops the natural process of ejaculation a sin. But historians have found records of people using condoms in those days too. Although the purpose was to deal with STDs. But let me you those condoms back then weren’t anything like they are today. They were made of animal bladders, intestines, and linen. And unlike today, they were reused over and over again.
5. Hardened bread loaves were used as dildos.
Although masturbation was considered a sin, people still used different ways to please themselves sexually. The women used to bake loaves of bread until they were hard enough to be used as dildos. I can’t imagine how that would’ve worked out. They must hurt…
6. You get a prize when your husband takes your virginity.
Women back then were judged on the basis of their virginity. If you weren’t a virgin, you weren’t considered pure. And if you’re able to save yourself up until you’re married then you definitely deserved a prize. The husbands were supposed to give their wives gifts after consummating their marriage.
7. You weren’t supposed to enjoy sex.
Well, this is ridiculous. Sex in those days was just considered evil but a necessary evil to make babies. This meant that you could have sex but just because you had to. You were not supposed to enjoy, and if you were doing it just for the sake of pleasure then it was considered a sin. If that’s the case, we’re all sinners now.
8. If you want your virginity back — just pray.
Like I said before, women were judged on the basis of their virginity. Virginity was like a badge of honor. If women lost their virginity, even if after their marriage, you used to pray for the rest of their lives to win it back. I mean nothing changed physically but from the religious point of view, women could reach higher levels of divinity if they prayed for getting their virginity back.
9. Gay life was tough.
We all know how the Chruch views homosexuality even today. It was worse back in the medieval period. If it was discovered that someone in the community was gay, they were punished viciously. Everything from stoning, burning, and hanging, gays had to run for their lives.
10. No anal no oral.
You probably saw this coming. I mean if masturbation was considered illegal then every sexual act that couldn’t result in conceiving a child would be considered a sin as well. Both anal and oral sex were a big no too.
The Archbishop Theodore of Canterbury mentioned in his book Canons of Theodore,
“Whoever ejaculates seed into the mouth, that is the worst evil. From someone it was judged that they repent this up to the end of their lives.”
11. The church was equivalent to the back seat of a car.
There was a lack of privacy in medieval homes and societies and it was hard for couples to find places where they could enjoy themselves. A famous historian Ruth Mazo Karras states that
“the church, safe, dry, and deserted for much of the day, might have been the equivalent of the back seat of a car.”
12. Sexual positions were ranked based on sin level.
As I’ve mentioned before, missionary was considered the only legal sexual position in medieval times. The Church ranked sexual positions based on the sin level. The ranking was,
- Missionary
- Side-by-side
- Sitting
- Standing
- “A Tergo” (Doggystyle)
Apparently, the Church does not like doggy style.
So yeah, I’m glad I wasn’t born back then. Are you?
More from the Author
References
“https://www.scoopwhoop.com/Sex-Was-Like-In-Medieval-Times/” “https://www.medievalists.net/2013/02/sex-in-the-middle-ages/” “https://www.ranker.com/list/what-intimacy-was-like-in-medieval-times/aaron-edwards” “https://about-history.com/sex-in-medieval-ages/” “https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_dildo”