12 Awesome Days You Can Celebrate Instead of Medium Day
Because you deserve to create your own happiness
So, Medium Day is happening.
You’ve either read the email or their post. Medium also sent private invites to all the 100X Top Writers via Ravens (Game of Thrones style).
It’s a secret.
I don’t know if you had the patience to fill out the five-minute survey. I sure didn’t. If it’s not a two-minute read, I don’t click. It’s usually not worth it.
Except for my stories of course.
I’ve decided that I’m not attending. I’m just going to wait for the reactions to roll in. Can you visualize it? Our feeds will be chock full of them.
That’s how I’ve binged every noteworthy event this summer, Coachella, Charles’s coronation, and Taylor Swift’s Eras tour. The orange-yellow skies.
It’s what content creators do best. React.
I’m going to make an educated guess and state that attending the Medium Day is not going to leave anyone happy. So, here’s what we could do instead.
Or come back here for an after-party. It will be BYOB.
- Me Day
A listicle of your old articles. See how many you can cram into one.
2. Editor Appreciation Day
They work hard. They work for free. They look out for us. Maybe they’re demented. Maybe they are angels. Write stories celebrating their existence.
3. Boost Day
Perform 500 Occult Rituals, to give your story that much elusive boost.
4. Medium Idol Day
There’s someone you admire. Maybe they don’t know you exist. Or how you feel. Here’s your chance to come clean. Maybe they’ll collaborate with you.
5. Pizza Day
Just order some pizza. It’s an instant mood booster.
6. Block Day
Comment 100 times and get yourself blocked. Then nap for 24 hours.
7. Erotica Day
Do you know what Medium does not distribute? Erotica. Do you know what gets the best numbers? Erotica. Get your hands dirty today.
Click here for inspiration.
8. Hot Cocoa Day
Did you know there are multiple ways to make cocoa? You could use powder, syrup, or pieces of broken chocolate. Write stories, one for each recipe, after you drink them of course. There can never be too many.
9. Buddy Day
Get together with a Medium friend (or three) and finish each other’s half-written drafts. Publish those beautiful monsters and Stats watch together.
10. Insert one good idea here <editor’s note: I’m editing, not writing for you>
11. Trash Day
Hit the minus button on the “Get rich by following me, my patented method, and buying my course” articles. Cleanse your feed and your soul.
12. Self-Care Day
Read twelve articles about self-care. After shopping for the ingredients, do it all and emerge a whole new person. Stop reading stupid stuff like this.
Want Something Bigger?
Let’s make the Medium Convention happen.
Up until now there’s been heated debate in the comment section about the location. But, no plans have been laid down. That’s because Medium has us doubting ourselves on the daily. Keeps undermining our potential.
But I believe in us.
If we put our multi-talented heads together, we can achieve anything. I think about three days' worth of activities can be created in mere minutes.
Then we’ll get Apple to sponsor us by letting us use their headsets.
If they can boost multiple stories (reviews) on Medium like we all have 3,499$ lying around, they won’t pass up on this unique opportunity.
Then we’ll decide the big stuff.
Costumes. Themes. Dancing. FIGHTING.
At last, we can zero in on the location. I vote for Paris because it might lend us the secret je ne sais quoi needed to succeed on Medium. Plus croissants.
And we can sleep for free on the pavements. Assuming they’re not covered in burning garbages like last time French people went on strike.