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nd he exploited one of my deepest fears, silencing my lips and my heart.</p><p id="1378">I joke with my <a href="https://readmedium.com/marriage-is-a-fantastic-destination-and-a-life-long-journey-9f05d9972e49">husband</a> that he can put a snake on me, I will die of fright, and he can enjoy the life insurance money.</p><h2 id="bc84">3. I felt furious about and scared about that</h2><p id="f7ff">I never forgot. I’m still scared of snakes. As an adult, I have a strange sense of curiosity about them. When I see one, I have to know where it is and how it moves. From a safe distance, I can’t keep my eyes off the slithering creature.</p><p id="628c">I have to know where it is and be on guard about what to expect from it.</p><h2 id="131d">4 . As a kid, my mother taught me that my daydreaming was child’s play</h2><p id="e0c0">When you’re worried about how to keep the lights on and where your next mean is coming from you don’t have the luxury of daydreams. Daydreams are optional. So is self-care. You only do what’s necessary.</p><h2 id="e1c4">5. “Snap out of it”</h2><p id="aa3b">Daydreams were an escape from the reality of the life we lived. She’d often tell me to “snap out of it,” that there are real consequences in life, which sometimes means missing a meal.</p><h2 id="8025">6. Broken hearts and broken dreams</h2><p id="cb42">What I wanted more than anything was encouragement. My parents failed to encourage my dreams and told me they weren’t worth following unless they had control over them.</p><h2 id="a378">7. When I was little, I learned everything else comes first</h2><p id="9769">Art is optional. It will never pay the bills. It’s an activity you take part in when there’s nothing worthwhile to do.</p><h2 id="4eae">8. I grew up thinking artists were weird</h2><p id="0d9f">Artists are people, but they’re weird. At least that’s what my parents wanted me to believe. They have funny hair colors and ink on their bodies. Funny, that’s what I li

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ke about artists today.</p><h2 id="a1b5">9. The teacher who shipwrecked my confidence</h2><p id="5591">My History teacher, Mr. Borden. He was without feeling, and I can’t ever remember him smiling. He wanted to fail me in high school history class because he didn’t like me. I hated him.</p><p id="2aa7">Thank goodness for <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-you-want-to-check-in-often-with-people-who-make-a-positive-impact-on-your-life-b9f82d757a62?source=user_profile---------62----------------------------">all the great mentors</a> I had before and after him.</p><h2 id="23e0">10. There will always be people who take advantage</h2><p id="ce03">My self-protection mechanism is always set to skepticism. Because I’ve been hurt by those who are <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-moms-final-13-hours-lead-to-an-end-of-life-guide-for-you-9c7b6038e4a5">supposed to nurture</a> I don’t trust easily.</p><p id="351e">If you’re in my inner circle, it’s because you’ve been carefully vetted.</p><h2 id="182b">11. If I believe in myself…</h2><p id="619e">And in my talents, then I’m mad as hell at the <a href="https://readmedium.com/10-of-my-most-terrifying-ghosts-identified-in-a-head-on-confrontation-9a12cd2c04cb?source=user_profile---------25----------------------------">people who tear them down</a>. Shattered confidence is not easily rebuilt.</p><p id="1c2f">At some point you need to realize that people will fail you who should be in your corner. And at some point you need to let shit go for your own good.</p><p id="d4d0">Do you have things you need to let go of? Let go of those who kill your soul so that you can nurture yourself. Unblock your mind to unblock your future.</p><p id="e25a"><a href="https://publishous.thinkific.com/courses/make-money-on-medium-com">Pick up the skills </a>you need to get going.</p><p id="756d">Enjoy this? Use <a href="https://nicoleakers.medium.com/membership">my referral link</a> to become a member.</p></article></body>

11 Things I Really Wish I Would Have Stopped Caring About Sooner

Unblock your mind to unblock your future

You’ve probably heard the old adage: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

You also know that as much as kids say this to each other to stave off a hurtful comment, that words do hurt. Kids at school and on the playground say cruel things just to be mean.

It’s easier to brush a comment from an acquaintance but more difficult to dismiss a comment from someone close to you.

Perhaps a teacher or a parent said how worthless you are at doing math. Or someone told you that you’re fat at an impressionable age that shapes your body image for life.

Sometimes nice people say mean things.

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we feel emotional and physical pain in similar ways, and that pain limits our ability to act.

Here are some things I wish I’d have stopped caring about sooner.

1. As a kid, my dad thought my art was awful

I couldn’t do anything right. Not even paint my fingernails to his liking. I remember wanting his approval, and that was the one thing he made clear that he wouldn’t offer.

2. I remember the many times he frightened me

Like when he told me he would put snakes under my bed covers if I wasn’t “good.” He knew I was petrified of snakes, and he exploited one of my deepest fears, silencing my lips and my heart.

I joke with my husband that he can put a snake on me, I will die of fright, and he can enjoy the life insurance money.

3. I felt furious about and scared about that

I never forgot. I’m still scared of snakes. As an adult, I have a strange sense of curiosity about them. When I see one, I have to know where it is and how it moves. From a safe distance, I can’t keep my eyes off the slithering creature.

I have to know where it is and be on guard about what to expect from it.

4 . As a kid, my mother taught me that my daydreaming was child’s play

When you’re worried about how to keep the lights on and where your next mean is coming from you don’t have the luxury of daydreams. Daydreams are optional. So is self-care. You only do what’s necessary.

5. “Snap out of it”

Daydreams were an escape from the reality of the life we lived. She’d often tell me to “snap out of it,” that there are real consequences in life, which sometimes means missing a meal.

6. Broken hearts and broken dreams

What I wanted more than anything was encouragement. My parents failed to encourage my dreams and told me they weren’t worth following unless they had control over them.

7. When I was little, I learned everything else comes first

Art is optional. It will never pay the bills. It’s an activity you take part in when there’s nothing worthwhile to do.

8. I grew up thinking artists were weird

Artists are people, but they’re weird. At least that’s what my parents wanted me to believe. They have funny hair colors and ink on their bodies. Funny, that’s what I like about artists today.

9. The teacher who shipwrecked my confidence

My History teacher, Mr. Borden. He was without feeling, and I can’t ever remember him smiling. He wanted to fail me in high school history class because he didn’t like me. I hated him.

Thank goodness for all the great mentors I had before and after him.

10. There will always be people who take advantage

My self-protection mechanism is always set to skepticism. Because I’ve been hurt by those who are supposed to nurture I don’t trust easily.

If you’re in my inner circle, it’s because you’ve been carefully vetted.

11. If I believe in myself…

And in my talents, then I’m mad as hell at the people who tear them down. Shattered confidence is not easily rebuilt.

At some point you need to realize that people will fail you who should be in your corner. And at some point you need to let shit go for your own good.

Do you have things you need to let go of? Let go of those who kill your soul so that you can nurture yourself. Unblock your mind to unblock your future.

Pick up the skills you need to get going.

Enjoy this? Use my referral link to become a member.