#Grimsby Hackney Responds

100 Story Response Breakdown: Part Five.

What did it all mean?

#41 Arpad Nagy. I Was the Student That Made My French Teacher a Chain Smoker

Just to be perfectly clear, I really like Arpad and I’m currently going through some of his cookery articles, which I wholeheartedly recommend.

However, when I read his 100 stories submission, I wasn’t really on his side. Sure the teacher was being stubborn but by the end, I felt sorry for her. Being a teacher can be hard work and, these days, they come under so much scrutiny, it’s no wonder they are leaving the profession in their droves.

Having said that, as I pointed out in my response, I am not convinced that Arpad drove her to chain-smoking. But if she was driven to it, I don’t see that as a win. When I was at school I wish the only thing I had to worry about was having French translations forced upon me. Check this out.

#42 Jonathon Sawyer. A Red Wedding

Nothing has changed for me, in regard to my view of Jonathan. I still, occasionally, read his stories, particularly when I’m working the rank waiting for fares. He has a great writing style and a good imagination.

I remember submitting a story to one of his prompts and I enjoyed trying something outside my normal shit output. I really should have another go at that sometime.

Whatever you do, don’t fuck about, read some Jonathan today.

#43 ██████ ██████. Where’s Smillew Rahcuef?

I wrote what I wrote. I make no apologies for it. He blocked me.

#44 Debra Groves Harman, MEd. The Robber Tapped My Chest With the Point of the Blade

Up until this point I had never read any “creative” non-fiction. It was very well-written, you know, with good grammar and all that. Beyond that, I don’t have the experience to justifiably have a valid opinion on its artistic value.

For a while, I tried to get to know a bit more about that kind of writing, but it soon became clear that it wasn’t to my taste. Ultimately I just find that memoir stories leave me cold and trying to embellish them creatively is too easy to see through.

Anyway, Debra and I got on well for a while and I even wrote a story for one of her publications. She hasn’t spoken to me much, since I made a joke about Amy Sea’s face though.

#45 Marie A. Rebelle. She Called It No Big Deal, Not Rape

This was a very well-written story and I really enjoyed it. In response to it, I focussed on the moral issues of the story. Looking back on it, I wish I hadn’t done that. The story was so good I only really needed to talk about that. Therefore I will take this opportunity to put that right,

That is a great story, Marie.

#46 Robin Christine Honigsberg. The Inheritance

Like what I just said about Marie’s story above.

This is a great story, Robin.

#47 Ann James. just get them to talk

If you have read the greatest sci-fi comedy book in the history of the universe, you will be aware of the Babel fish and what it does. What follows is the description of the Babel fish as it appears in the book;

“The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.”

Adams, Douglas, 1952–2001. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. New York: Harmony Books, 1980.

Upon listening to Ann’s story, while driving, my Babel fish died of anaphylactic shock.

#48 Denise Kendig. That Time I Asked For a Sign

This was a nice enough tale and it wasn’t so long, which was good, because if it was any longer it would have needed a funnier punchline. What I wrote had that message hidden, not very well I admit, within it.

Denise seems to be a very nice person and she writes well. This story is a fair representation of what she does. It’s worth a read at least.

#49 Hogan Torah. The Shrimp Wheel of Destiny

This story had something to do with an air conditioning unit.

#50 Michelle Scorziello. Looking for a Scapegoat?

This is well worth a read. I like stories about old or lost relatives, especially when they’re as full of humour as this story was.

Thanks for that Michelle.

Part five is finished. That was hard to do. I’ve been struggling to get this done today, I bet you can tell as well.

Anyway, no prizes for guessing which one I liked the least. Ann James needs to be grateful she was among the same part as ██████ ██████, or she would have been in the running for the wooden spoon play-off

Number 1 spot was close between Robin Christine Honigsberg, Marie A. Rebelle and Michelle Scorziello but I have to give it Robin, on the basis that I was most entertained by it, and Robin liked my alternative ending suggestion.

I encourage you all to give each of the stories a read, and I would be interested to know your thoughts on what I had to say, for good or bad.

Please let me know if you want me to stop tagging you.

Cheers.

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