10 Tips to Gain Self-Confidence

Building self-confidence takes time and practice

Some people are born with self-confidence. They grow from children into teenagers, into adults, and step into the world with all the self-assurance of royalty. Others lack this particular trait and turn into wallflowers. If you need some confidence, rest assured, it can be done.

Why self-confidence is important

Self-confidence is important because it gives us the self-esteem and courage to try different things. Whether it’s a school project, a job, or a relationship if you feel confident you have a greater chance for success. When we try different things and are successful in various situations, self-confidence leads to a happier life. When you have self-confidence, others’ criticism doesn’t affect you. You know your self-worth and are able to shrug off hurtful comments.

How to get self-confidence

Building up confidence is a process. You don’t turn from a shy person into a walking example of confidence overnight. Getting that confidence takes practice.

1. Think about your achievements

When thinking about your achievements you might not come up with much of anything at all, but dig a little deeper.

• You went to school and made friends
• Your grades were good
• You were good at sports
• You managed to get a job
• You learned how to drive a car
• You got your driver’s license
• You got into a relationship
• You bought a house

2. Focus on successes

When thinking about achievements, push all negativity out of your mind and focus on the positive. Allowing yourself to dwell on negative thoughts will undermine your confidence and as a result, you might anticipate new ventures to turn into failures. Building self-confidence is a little like climbing Mount Everest. If you doubt yourself and think that you won’t reach the summit, then you won’t. But if you convince yourself that you can do it, then you will.

3. Keep a log

When you’re feeling low, grab a book and write down your successes.

• You lost weight
• Your home is spotless
• Your spouse and children are happy
• You have savings
• You wrote a book
• You finished and DIY project

All these things may sound like minor achievements to you, but they are achievements.

4. Your talents

Everyone has talents or abilities. You might not be able to sing, but you can dance circles around the competition. You might not be able to golf, but in a bowling alley, you shine. You might not be a star at cooking, but your baking skills are second to none. Other abilities might be that you never forget a face or a name; that you never need a list to remember your shopping; that you can speak a second language or can draw, or make your own clothes.

5. Start small

To develop your self-confidence or give yourself a boost, start small. Give a dinner party, organize your cabinets and drawers, bake bread, go for a walk. As you accomplish each task, look back and think — I did it. If need be, keep a record of your achievements.

6. Think positive

At the start of each endeavor, don’t question whether or not you’ll be able to do this or that. Think, I can do this and then go for it. If it works out, be proud of yourself. If it doesn’t, well then at least you tried, which in itself is something to be proud of.

7. Motivate yourself

When faced with a challenge, or project, or an unfamiliar situation, give yourself a motivational pep talk. Tell yourself, ‘You can do this’, ‘If others can do this, so can I’, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’, or ‘If it works out, great, if not, so be it.’

8. Dress the part

Confidence often comes with what we wear. What makes you feel confident? Is it a pair of snazzy jeans, a business suit, or an elegant dress? Shoes are also important. Ladies often feel more confident in a pair of heels. When confidence is needed, feel free to dress to look your best.

9. Your posture

Are you in the habit of slouching? Don’t. When talking to someone, whether it’s a stranger, a neighbor, or someone at work, stand or sit up straight. You’ll instantly feel more confident.

10. Your speech

When you talk, don’t whisper or mumble, speak clearly. Don’t be afraid to express an opinion. Everyone has the right to their opinion and so do you. Stand by your opinion, even if others disagree. If you stand up for yourself you’ll earn the respect of others and your confidence will increase.

Building self-confidence takes time and practice but you can do it. While you’re working on your confidence, fake it.