10 Things I Could Possibly Live a Bleak and Empty Life Without

And the pictures to prove I never will

I am a woman of far too many hobbies. When people tell me about the ten shows they watched on Netflix this week, I stare off into space and wonder, How?? How do you have the time? Do these people get a few, secret extra hours per day that I don’t know about?

Because damn, I’ll take another ten — please and thank you — and still run out of time for all the fun things I want to do.

Even before I had I a kid, “vegging out” was a very occasional occupation. I didn’t realize I fell into the “creator” category until quite recently, because I had this weird lingering hang-up from my youth that I was one of the “nerds” — and sometimes a jock on the weekends — but definitely not one of the “arty” kids.

Oh how wrong I was, as you will soon see. In no particular order, here are 10 things that I consider necessary for a full and happy life.

Dresses With Pockets

This one should be a no-brainer. People have things, and they need somewhere to put them.

I love dresses, but I hate purses. I talk with my hands, dramatically and outrageously. I’ve nearly beaned many a bystander because I forgot I was holding a purse. The ones with straps make me feel like I’m just begging to be strangled. Which I’m not into, personally.

So I need pockets. Often I lug around a jacket even when it's hot because I need somewhere to stash my phone and keys and whatever else I might need.

Dresses should be required to have pockets, by law if necessary.

Camper “Rights” I.e. Comfy Shoes

I got my first pair of these babies 10 years ago when I lived in Halifax. I’m an avid walker, and it’s a city that you can explore and enjoy thoroughly without ever needing to get into a car. But — I wish I could be barefoot all the time, and this is nearly as close as you can get. Most women’s footwear is a cruel punishment, though I’ve never discovered the crime.

Campers are my concession to footwear, well-made and comfortable. The leather is soft and they hug my enormous ski feet, even performing the magic trick of making them appear almost normal-sized. I get at least one new pair — albeit a different colour — every year.

Comic Books/Graphic Novels

I’m not going to argue or even explain the difference here, though there is one. Either way, I love them both. The first comics I bought at the ripe age of 29 in the city of Toronto during the brief and terrible 8 months I lived there included Buffy the Vampire Slayer, V for Vendetta, and the first trade of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman.

I now have many (many) boxes full of single issues and many (many) shelves full of trades.

I’ve reread Sandman at least twice since then. I dressed up as Death to attend a Comiccon, which was rather fun, and I even provoked several looks of horror. I also wrote an article about how to read graphic novels, for those of you who have yet to take the plunge.

I think learning to “read” pictures has helped with my imagination in 10,000 different ways, since I can’t actually see things in my mind’s eye. Apparently, it’s a rare quirk? disorder? though it doesn’t seem to be a handicap until I start to draw detailed objects from memory, which I never, ever attempt anymore.

Plants

I grew up on 2 acres of open prairie and I now live in an 800 sq foot condo with two other humans and a little black dog. I want a garden so badly but this is life, for now, so instead, I’ve filled my house with plants. I find it relaxing to care for them, and I feel deeply suspicious of a person if I visit their home and see no plants at all. Are you dead inside? I can’t help but wonder.

My plantbabies used to line the deep window shelves, but my toddler likes to dig in the dirt and make terrible messes. We installed shelves higher on the wall, which she has since learned to access with precarious and monkeylike dexterity.

A Snarky Calendar

I’m no longer sure of the day, most of the time.

This keeps me sane, in so many ways. Just looking at it, my irritation is validated and evaporates, effortlessly. And if you’ve never tried a food calendar, I highly recommend it!

Notebooks, notebooks, notebooks!

Except for what I write on Medium, I still prefer to write all my stories, notes, ideas, and journaling by hand. Because, you know, were I to choose the year of my birth (and sexism wasn’t a thing) I would pick 1890.

Pictured are the notebooks I’ve gotten just this year. The book spines one near the bottom is a new book journal. The moleskins in the background contain my novel (in progress). The blue and gold one near the top is specially made for gaming and contains graph and hex paper, for drawing maps. Which leads me to . . .

Pencil Crayons and Maps

I started to draw maps when I was very little. Simple geography, sometimes, but more often flower bed or house plans. Then I hit my teens, two decades passed sadly lacking in maps, until I rediscovered the passion when I started Game Mastering a Pathfinder game four years ago. I kept making real maps even when we moved the game online last year, because I couldn’t bear to stop playing with my pencil crayons.

I find playing with colours less intimidating than trying to draw things “creatively” or “realistically,” though I’ve recently gotten into creating shadows and highlights. Given that we only use them for an hour or two in our games, the amount of time I spend drawing isn’t “efficient,” but it is incredibly relaxing and therapeutic.

Pathfinder Books and Miniatures

You must have known by now this was coming. I’ve been a fantasy buff for as long as I can remember, but I only started playing tabletop RPGs shortly after I left my ex-husband ten years ago.

Man, was I awkward at that first session. Everybody is, unless they’re already:

• an actor
• very good at improv
• a sociopath

If you’re game-curious, feel free to check out this post on why I love being a Game Master. It’s an incredibly fun thing to do with your friends, and even helpful at building essential life skills. But mostly I love it because I’m a very silly and dramatic person, and those are pluses when you’re gaming.

Plus reading and studying all the books is kinda like going to school and learning new things except these are all pretend, so there’s no exam.

What? I already told you I was a nerd. It’s ok, nobody ever believes the true depths of my nerdom at first.

Escapism

This is but one of many ways I like to leave the real world behind. I’ve been a gamer since I fell in love with Zelda: A Link to the Past. I moved over from Nintendo to Playstation after the Gamecube. That’s probably a whole rant about JRPGs that I haven’t written yet, but Playstation, to my mind, provides the best in RPGs for grown-ups. Also, their controllers are comfortable to hold.

The Witcher is probably my all-time favourite RPG, because of how well it captures the depth of a realized world and the complications of the moral choices you have to make there. Also, you can choose to have sex with all the main women NPCs (except for Ciri) and I highly recommend doing so. The consequences are hilarious.

Book Shelves, Anyone?

Pop culture wizard Eric Pierce is the mastermind who started this whole 10 Things trend on Medium, so I knew I had to deliver up at least one “shelfie” for him, as per an unsubtle hint he once made.

Pictured are three of my er ummmm eight bookshelves, not counting the ones on the walls. My nephew came over shortly before COVID and announced, “Wow, it’s like a library in here!” My heart nearly exploded with pride. My toddler also went through a phase of trying to climb them, which was terrifying, since there are literally hundreds of pounds of books on each shelf.

I’m holding (part of) my Robert Jordan collection, which are being donated as soon as the centers are open again. My shelves are full, and I’ve already read this epic 13 book series twice all the way through. I don’t often get rid of books, but with 800 sq feet, sometimes you have to make tough choices.

I could talk and write and think about books all day. Which I did do, for 11 glorious years while I was an English major doing a handful of degrees. Now I write about books, reading, and book lovers pretty much every chance I get.

For instance, I wrote this humorous piece a few months ago:

And also this one, which is very, very serious:

I love books so much I even started Instagramming about them. I now have more pictures of books than I do my toddler and dog put together. I wrote this story about that new hobby/obsession:

Show Me Yours!

I’ve met so many fantastic people here on Medium, and I’ve loved getting pieces of your life in delicious little snippets. I’m tagging a few people in the hopes that they’ll let me see into their quotidian passions. And then, please tag me, so I can read it! Use 10EssentialThings as one of the tags so they’re easy to find.

What are 10 things you can’t live without?

Amanda Kay Oaks, Yana Bostongirl, A. N. Tipton, Jessica Lee McMillan, Sandy Gold, Jennifer Brewer, Kristina M. H., CJ Amberwood, Marie Kester