10 Techniques to Adopt to Get More Sleep and Have Less Stress

The morning always feels different when I have had some sleep. I look at the world differently. I look at myself differently.

The morning always feels different when there is less stress in my life. Again, I look at the world differently, and I look at myself differently.

Differently? How?

I am a much more positive person. I am less moody. I am less likely to bite off your proverbial head.

But, I rarely get enough sleep, AND most days, my stress level is off the chart. Some days I meander through the day barely able to focus; other days I pick my way through each minute slowly and methodically.

I struggle to get enough sleep and keep the stress in my life under controlled: although the kids are grown and living on their own, the noises the dogs make at night wake me as if I have an infant in the next room. (Those of you who are parents can relate, right?) After the somewhat resolution of my husband’s health complications over the past year, his nightly movements and sounds rouse me — a cough, a sneeze, changing of position. My carnival ride mind keeps me from falling asleep many nights. During the day, I’m running hubby to doctor appointments and dialysis therapy. I worry about paying bills because, after 10 months we still have not received a settlement letter from disability stating that hubby is / is not eligible for disability.

Occasionally, I get those days where I wake up and feel refreshed and ready to tackle anything and everything that comes my way. These days are finally becoming more and more frequent, especially since we are getting a handle on hubby’s health issues.

So, if these things are going on at night, how am I occasionally getting enough sleep? If these things are going on 24/7, what am I doing to de-stress myself?

I PRIORITIZE MY RELATIONSHIPS. THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DISHES OR ANY OTHER HOUSEHOLD CHORE.

Although I held this as a belief as I raised my kids, they have been out of the house and on their own for ten years or better. (Good grief, it seems a lot longer than that.) Especially after the two 911 calls, the one ER visit (Hubby was able to get to our truck), and the four day hospital stay over the past two weeks, I value the time I can spend with my husband.

A game of cribbage? Ok, the laundry can wait to be put away, or he might have the energy to help.

Come cuddle and watch television? Sure. The extra dog on the floor that needs to be eaten by the vacuum can wait until … whenever.

Come help me with dinner? I was just . . . putting my book down to come help.

I TRY TO CLEAN THE KITCHEN BEFORE I GO TO BED. IT HELPS ME ENTER THE MORNING LESS STRESSED.

More than once I have told myself that I’ll get to the dishes in the morning. AND, more than once I have woken to the messy kitchen with a feeling of defeat. With the open floor plan in our house, I can still watch television with hubby AND get the kitchen clean. It’s a bonus that we looked for when house shopping. What dishes don’t fit in the dishwasher are washed by hand because just seeing them on the counter, waiting for me, creates stress.

I SET THE COFFEE UP TO FINISH BREWING BEFORE THE ALARM SOUNDS.

When the first coffee makers came out with the ability to set a timer so the coffee is made before the alarm sounds, I was one of the first customers. The smell of coffee about 15 minutes before the alarm sounds eases me awake and then the alarm isn’t so jolting. (It helps that the master bedroom is right off the kitchen so the smell of coffee doesn’t have to travel so far.)

I FOLLOW A BEDTIME ROUTINE.

A bedtime routine is for kids, right? Wrong! A bedtime routine gets your mind to wind down and realize that your day is complete, and it is time for rest.

Depending on how tired we are, my bedtime routine begins between 9:00 and 10:00. It starts with going in to make the bed. (Yes, I know. Experts tell us that making your bed in the morning is a good, if not great, way to begin your day. BUT, I hate making it twice, and since the fur-babies like to unmake it during the day, I wait to make it until bedtime. Then, medications get set up, coffee gets set up, shower, last check of the kitchen, brush teeth, and then crawl into bed and either watch a bit of television, play a game on the phone, or read a book.

Then, if sleep evades me, I have learned the importance of getting up to do something more instead of letting my mind rule the night.

TO SET AN ALARM, OR NOT SET AN ALARM . . . THAT IS A QUESTION

I have five alarms, but I only set one.

The first alarm to awaken me is from Mother Nature — dawn. Since we live in the middle of practically nowhere, I don’t have shades or blinds to pull. The moonlight bathes our room at night and dawn may or may not awaken me. I’ve caught many a splendid sunrise from my bedroom window this way.

The next two alarms to register are the fur-babies. They need to go out in the morning and have no problem letting me know, but more often than not it is a glare that says, “You need to get up. I’m awake. Why aren’t you awake?”

The next alarm is an inconsistent one. I am usually up way before my husband, but on that rare occasion, his movement and lack of presence in the bed awakens me.

These are alarms that I can’t control, but the one alarm I set is on my phone. I set it for as late in the morning as I possibly can. If we have appointments to make, I set it so there is time for breakfast, breakfast clean up, and getting dressed and ready to go. If we don’t, I usually set it for 7:00 or 8:00. If I allow myself to sleep any longer, I am groggy for the rest of the day.

I ALLOW MYSELF THE LUXURY OF A NAP BECAUSE A LITTLE NAP NEVER HURT ANYONE.

Whether it is because something woke me in the middle of the night or I am just overwhelmed with life, I have been known to take a nap. Even a short 15-minute escape from what is going on around me helps. In high school and college, I napped on weekends. As a parent of infants and toddlers, I napped when my kids napped. As a parent of teenagers, I napped when my kids were engrossed in a movie on a rainy day, playing cooperatively in the basement, or at someone else’s house. Once the kids moved out and I was still teaching, I returned to napping on weekends. Now, I nap when I need one. It helps the energy levels and the stress levels.

I TAKE SOME TIME AWAY FROM REALITY.

I’ve learned over the years that I need to escape from reality when my stress load is overwhelming. In my world, there are two different ways to escape: one when I can leave the situation and one when I can’t.

When I can leave the situation, I have learned that even a walk around the block can center and balance me. Sitting along a river or on the beach at a lake or ocean can center and balance me. Just leaving the situation location can center and balance me.

But what if you can’t leave. You have children you can’t leave alone. You have a parent or spouse who needs constant care.

You may be stuck in the location, but there are things to do that can help you escape the stress. I’ve gone outside and walked up and down the driveway with the doors and windows open so I could hear my kids if they called out. I’ve gone outside to water the plants, feed the hummingbirds, or weed with my phone on me so if hubby needs me, he can call. I color in adult color books; I read novels that suck me in; I allow myself to get sucked into a game on my phone (and when I am ready to function in reality again, I delete the game); I put on headphones and listen to music or have hubby play DJ; I retreat to our music room and play the piano or my violin.

I TAKE A CANDLELIGHT BUBBLE BATH AND LET STRESS GO DOWN THE DRAIN.

Warm water, candles, and bubbles in many cases can de-stress me. The warm water relaxes my muscles, the candles and the flame mesmerize my mind, the bubbles delight me like when I was a child, and if I’m lucky, the aromatherapy of the bubble bath formula eases my stress. If the water begins to cool, I drain off some of the water and add more. It’s a place I can’t bring my electronics, or even read a book in the candlelight. It’s a place where nobody disturbs me. When I’m finished, I put on pajamas that make me feel good.

I TRY TO MOVE OR GET SOME EXERCISE.

It’s hard to leave the room when a spouse is extremely ill, and you feel on-call 24/7. That can lead to sitting in the same chair in the same position for longer than you normally would.

It is essential to get up and move around.

I use my 45/15 rule as a motivator to move. I can remain sitting or engaged in what I am doing for a maximum of 45 minutes; then, I must get up and do something different: walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water or a fresh cup of coffee, take the dogs outside, or any other task that will change it up. (I wrote about it here.)

I USE THE RULE OF 10 IN THE MORNING AND AT BED.

You’ve never heard of the Rule of 10? It’s something I created off the top of my head when my kids were preschoolers. When playtime was done and it was time to clean up, I was always met with resistance. Put the toys away? How could I suggest that to a preschooler?

We were learning to count anyway, so one evening I said, “I can put 10 building blocks away. Can you? One. Two,” I counted. Challenge on. When the oldest hit 10, I asked if he could do it again. Of course, he was at the age where he wanted to prove he could. Shortly, all the building blocks (think bright colors and interlocking) were in the box. Top on the box, we moved to bathtime and story time.

I transferred this concept to my life, especially when I feel overwhelmed with a task. I can fold 10 items of clothes, I can fold 10 towels/washcloths, I can get through 10 pieces of paper (even after six years, I am still trying to get through the important paperwork from my mother’s estate), I can pull 10 weeds.

Sometimes I get to 10 and feel like it is time to stop. Other times, I get to 10 and go for another 10.

At bed, I go through the house and look for 10 things that are out of place and right them. The shoes that got kicked off in the recliner. The candy wrapper that got set on the coffee table and forgotten. Ten things. Just 10.

In the morning, I got through the house again while my coffee is cooling and deal with 10 more things. Sometimes that means counting each plant on my porch and watering it.

It’s like the idea of counting to 10 when you are angry. Doing 10 things balances me and gets me on the right track.

Do I get enough sleep now? Of course not, but I try.

Am I void of stress? LOL. I don’t think I will ever experience a day without some sort of stress, but I have learned to defuse a lot of it.

If you don’t get enough sleep or are stressed and frazzled beyond the thread of your last nerve, try some of these things.

BUT be forewarned, some of these things are addicting — in a good way. You may become addicted to spending more time with the ones you love because it makes you feel good. You may become addicted to going to bed with a clean kitchen because it makes you feel good in the morning.

Get the picture? I thought you would.

What things do you do to get more, or better, sleep? What things do you do to de-stress? Please take a moment to share in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

Rebecca (Becky) spent 34 years in a teaching career, but when she retired in 2014, she picked up her pen and pursued her passion to write. As a high school English teacher, Becky held the philosophy that she wouldn’t give any writing assignment that she personally wouldn’t or couldn’t do. That philosophy strengthened and broadened her own writing.

In addition to publishing her writing on various platforms, Becky also blogs at Life is for Living, a blog to encourage, motivate, and help others live the best life possible. As an extension of Life is for Living, she also publishes a weekly newsletter, Let’s Chat. (Check it out HERE.) Life is for Living also has a social media presence with the group Coffee on my Porch. (Check it out HERE.)

After teaching writing for 34 years, Becky began Ink & Keyboard, a blog for writers at all levels. She supplements what she writes on the blog with a subscription newsletter, The Writer’s Notebook (Check it out HERE.) and the social media group Ink & Keyboard (Check it out HERE.)

Thanks for reading.

If you enjoyed what you just read, feel free to share.

If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy these stories about life: