10 Simple Ways to Make Someone Feel Loved and Appreciated

Use your words to make them feel beautiful

Philosopher William James once wrote that “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

We all want to feel appreciated because it elicits the idea that our existence matters to someone else. It makes us feel valued and cherished because being appreciated is how we recognize that we’re important to others and that our presence does make a difference in someone’s life.

This is why Nelson Mandela famously said:

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”

From a similar standpoint, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl developed an approach to psychotherapy that he called logotherapy. It was built upon the premise that human beings are motivated by a “will to meaning.” In his view, meaning gives us purpose and purpose presents us with the endurance to carry onward through difficult times.

So if we connect the above ideas of all three great thinkers, we can conclude the following: We search for meaning in order to feel appreciated. While ‘meaning’ motivates us, it’s ‘appreciation’ that transcends us.

And how do we express appreciation for others, and in turn, receive more of it ourselves? We tap into the incredible bottomless well of power within us called kindness. Because if we learn how to freely give as little as an ounce of it, once per day, kindness can really spread more love and appreciation around us.

Through the practice of kindness, we demonstrate appreciation, and through kindness and appreciation, we create meaning for everyone involved.

An authentic smile, a hand in solidarity and support, a willingness to listen when someone wants to speak. All these little acts of kindness trigger the release of oxytocin in our brains, “the love hormone.” Hence why the very act of selfless giving is rooted in us feeling good as well.

Here are ten simple ways how, through the use of words, you can make someone feel loved and appreciated. They’re drawn from personal experiences I’ve had and shared with others.

1. Tell them how they inspire you to be a better person.

“You inspire me to be a better person.”

A few months ago, I received this message from a reader: “You are helping me see the world and myself in a very uplifting way.” I was genuinely moved and incredibly grateful to read such beautiful words.

We all desire to wake up every morning with the rejuvenating realization that the work we’re about to do matters, and that, someway, somehow, we’re positively impacting someone else’s life. As a writer, I want to know that my work has touched another soul, cradled it with care, and helped it ascend upward toward much greener pastures.

Sometimes, a gentle reminder of “you inspired me to do X” or “I want to let you know that your work is helping me overcome my fears and inspiring me to take action” can fuel your motivation to continue walking a thousand miles in grace. I now have a folder that includes all these lovely comments I receive from readers and I turn to it when I struggle or when things aren’t working. They remind me of my ‘light’ and how it can positively shine on others.

2. Recognize the qualities you admire about them.

“I admire your confidence.”

A few years ago, I was strolling back down from a climb up Little Adam’s Peak in Ella, Sri Lanka when I came across a small shack. The local woman standing in front of it smiled and said: “Hello sir, this is my new shop, please come see what you like.”

She told me her story about how she was raised in the village nearby and how her parents were tea pluckers who worked seven days a week and made less than $3 per day.

Naveeshana was pursuing further education — in an effort to get a higher paying job after — when the cost became too strenuous on her family. So she had no option but to drop out. “But I don’t want this life for my children. I want to give my family a better life,” were her exact words.

So with the help of her husband and with a small sum of cash, they managed to earn a loan top-up. They used the money to buy a shack. And through a friend, she was able to borrow and display a humble inventory collection of elephant yoga pants, Sri Lankan postcards, souvenir magnets, and keychains.

Toward the end of our little chat, I made a purchase, gave Naveeshana a big hug, and said:

“I admire your courage. You’re such an inspiration. I will write your story and share it online.”

We all have qualities we admire in other people. Very often, it’s the qualities that we desire to nourish ourselves with. Things like self-discipline, fearlessness, confidence, and tenacity.

A sign of emotional and mental maturity is when we recognize the volume of work a person has invested in themselves to become confident or disciplined, and instead of sneering at them as a way to mask our jealousy and judgment, we verbally applaud them for how far they’ve come.

Look, we’re all human. We’re imperfect by nature. We all have shadows we’re trying to cast away. When you encounter qualities you admire in others, make sure you let them know.

3. Remind them of how you feel in their presence.

“Every time I see you, you raise my spirit and my energy.”

Yesterday night, my brother’s friend came over to our garden where we sat and chatted for a while. We talked about life, travels, dreams, and friendships.

Toward the end of the evening, right before we parted ways, he turned to me and said: “So good seeing you Omar, every time I see you, you raise my spirit and energy.” It was so heartwarming and humbling to hear those words.

If you like someone’s energy around you, let them know. If you enjoy the way they vibe, let them know. If you feel a little lighter, more positive, and joyful after interacting with them, let them know. It’s incredibly pleasing to realize that your aura and the way you carry yourself is generously diffusing a scent of zest onto others.

4. Tell them how you appreciate their presence in your life.

“I really appreciate your presence in my life.”

That’s the simplest thing you can say. And it comes back to this rule: If you value someone’s presence in your life, let them know. It will make them feel special and appreciated: “I really appreciate your presence because you bring so much joy into my life,” and “because you help me see myself in a more positive light,” or “because you bring out the best in me.”

Isn’t that beautiful to hear?

5. Thank them for their willingness to be authentic.

“Thank you for being you. The world needs more people like you.”

I recently wrote an article about kindness, and one of the readers responded with this: “I wish the whole world had a soul as beautiful as yours.” A few days later, I received another message from a reader: “Just wanted to give you a sincere heartfelt thanks for sharing your gift with the world.”

These comments warmed my heart not only for their sincerity but for the simple fact that someone out there took a moment out of their day to be kind to me. They recognized the effort I put into producing my work and they appreciated me for being me.

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said:

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

When someone opens their heart and bravely shares their art with the world — when they try to be themselves — they make themselves vulnerable to the wickedness and cynicism that might be sent their way. What you can do for them is to recognize their courage, amplify their efforts, and be their voice of encouragement.

In Zulu, Sawubona is the word for hello, but it also means ‘I see you.’

When you thank someone for being themselves, you are reminding them that you see them. You greet them with love, gratitude, and regard. And this empowers them to carry that authenticity forward.

6. Applaud them for their genuine friendship.

“You’re such a great friend.”

It was Anaïs Nin who said:

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Genuine friends water your strengths and remind you to love yourself a little more. Along with 7 other qualities, a true friend is someone who will do their best to be there for you whenever need be.

Wouldn’t it be a gesture of gratitude and appreciation to remind these friends of how important they are to you?

7. Tell them how happy you are to have them with you.

“I’m glad I’m sharing this moment with you.”

Two years ago, I went on a three-month solo-trip across Central America. In Guatemala, I hiked with a group of people to a volcano’s summit.

Around sunset, we gathered at base camp to watch the sun sink into the horizon. It was a surreal moment, sitting atop the world, seeing the sun rest above a white blanket of clouds through which a cluster of volcano tops penetrated.

I turned to the few people I had grown fond of over the hike and said, “it’s a pleasure to be sharing this moment with you.” I truly was grateful, but deep down, I was also yearning to be sharing this moment with my closest friends.

So a year later in Spain, as I sat on the beach watching the sunset with two of my closest friends, I turned to them and said: “I’m glad you’re with me.”

When you find yourself in a moment of awe and wonder, turn to the ones around you and let them know that their presence is what makes the moment that much more special to you.

8. Appreciate them for their talent and effort.

“You’re so talented at this and you’re getting better by the day.”

When someone puts out a work of art — an article, a painting, a music composition — it doesn’t matter whether you like it or not, what matters is that you appreciate the work and recognize the effort they’re actively putting in to master their craft.

You don’t want to be the voice that muddles their progress, you want to be the voice who uplifts them. You want to fill their wings with enthusiasm instead of suffocating their source of it. You want to spread their sails wide open so they can see the potential of what lies ahead.

Here’s why:

• This person overcame their initial fear of creation.
• This person continues to carry that anchor of self-doubt.
• This person is now battling the external noise of scrutiny.

So your words can be the difference between one giant leap forward into bliss, or 10 steps backward into distress.

9. Compliment their perspective.

“I love your outlook on life. You have a beautiful mind.”

In a world that has defined beauty as a perfectly drawn pair of lips, an incredibly fit body, or as an overly-priced summer dress, be the light that challenges conventional materialism. Compliment people for what lies in the deep: Their big hearts and beautiful minds.

Sure, it’s okay to say “I love your smile,” but how about “I love the way you laugh” as a means to shed light on the beauty of their humor, or “I really love your perspective on this matter” as a means to shed light on the beauty of the way they think, or “I love the way you treat your mom” as a means to shed light on the beauty of their kindness.

10. Tell them how proud you are of them.

“I’m proud of you.”

Simple yet powerful, four words that can mean the world to a pair of people who share a mutual bond of love. Because the only two words that the recipient will have for this compliment is this: “Thank you.”

They can offer nothing back to you but a deeply sincere sense of gratitude.

Indeed, a sentiment of love and appreciation is the most priceless gift of all.

What Matters to You

Maya Angelou is famous for saying these words:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Words are powerful.

Use them to make people feel something profoundly beautiful about themselves and the world around them. Use your words to spread love and kindness because that’s how we heal and reshape a world that is riddled with hostility and hate into a cosmos that bursts with consciousness and light.

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