avatarCarlo Zeno

Summary

The article "10 Questions My Baby Self Has For Me" by Carlo Zeno reflects on the disillusionment and unmet expectations of adulthood through a series of humorous and poignant questions posed by the author's younger self.

Abstract

In "10 Questions My Baby Self Has For Me," Carlo Zeno creatively uses the voice of his infant self to question the trajectory of his adult life. The piece humorously contrasts the innocence and potential of childhood with the perceived failures and monotony of middle age. It touches on themes of personal growth, existential reflection, and the gap between youthful dreams and adult realities. Zeno's baby self critiques the author's lack of presence, failure to capitalize on his screenwriting degree, and his mundane existence, suggesting a need for reevaluation and change.

Opinions

  • The author's baby self expresses bewilderment at the author's apparent unhappiness and lack of fulfillment in life.
  • There is a sense of disappointment in the author's failure to maintain a joyful demeanor and the frequency with which he encounters setbacks.
  • The baby self ridicules the author for not living up to his potential, especially given his education in screenwriting and his current unrelated job.
  • The author is challenged to approach life with more enthusiasm and creativity, akin to the way he once approached learning as a child.
  • The article suggests that the author has strayed from his dreams and is urged to take action to realign his life with his earlier aspirations.
  • There is an underlying call to action for the author to reassess his life choices and make significant changes to achieve happiness and fulfillment.

Under The Microscope

10 Questions My Baby Self Has For Me

Rude little shit

You scare me, old man / Photo by Nihal Karkala on Unsplash
  1. What happened? You were so cute when you were born. Now I don’t even recognize you. What’s with the look of perpetual pathos on your face? You look like Life has been shoveling shit on you for four decades straight. When was the last time you smiled?
  2. You’re still alive? You love the punishment, don’t you? I would have jumped off a bridge, like yesterday! Do you like failing? I used to fail and fall on my face too, but I was one year old learning how to walk. What the hell is your excuse?
  3. Do you need a map? I was born in San Francisco. My parents came from Sicily. How the hell did you end up Down Under in Australia? Are you lost? Do you need a little McDonald’s Map?
  4. I ran into walls because I was a baby — what’s your excuse? You’re only in your 40’s, not your fucking 90’s. But you stumble into walls and knock over furniture on a daily basis. Are you senile? Would you like a walking stick, old man?
  5. You’ve studied Buddhism for 20 years now and I’m still more present than you — what’s the point? Here’s a koan for you: Stop looking for your own nose inside the back of the fridge.
  6. If you’re going to fail, can you at least do it with a bit of panache? Remember when I used to dramatically teeter and fall on the floor when trying to balance? I did it with style and flair and would then laugh my ass off on the floor. You, on the other hand, fail like you’re actually trying to succeed. It is disturbing and getting hard to watch.
  7. Can you at least pretend to make an effort? All that time spent learning how to walk and talk and chew my food and shit like a young adult comes to this? At least appear like you give a damn. This is getting pathetic.
  8. Congrats on completing your Master’s Degree in Screenwriting over ten years ago — do you ever plan on doing anything with it? I mean, what the hell does fielding complaints behind the counter at City Council have to do with screenwriting? Do you think you are starring in a movie?
  9. Remember when I used to make a mistake and fall on my face, I would pick myself up and find a better way of doing it. Do you want to maybe try following suit instead of making the same mistakes over and over again?
  10. Were my dreams really that grandiose? All I dreamt of was owning a house with a car and a yard and having a healthy supply of fuck you money to travel around the world with. You’ve been slaving away from paycheck to paycheck and hopping from apartment to apartment for how many years now? Are you planning on retiring before 80?
This is getting embarrassing / Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Unsplash

© Carlo Zeno 2023

_______________________

Thank you for reading, and thank you to the team at Illumination.

Are you a writer? Subscribe to Medium using my link where you will be able to read, write, engage, and publish to your heart’s content.

Satire
Inner Child
Listicles
Failure
Illumination
Recommended from ReadMedium
avatarBette A. Ludwig 🔍 PhD
How Toxic Work Trauma Popped Up Unexpectedly One Day

When a simple get-together triggered old wounds

6 min read
avatarAlex Praytor
Getting a Haircut in a Foreign Country is an Act of Bravery

Do YOU have the words it takes?

5 min read
avatarMariana Busarova
In the Sea of Time

Lessons are part of life

2 min read
avatarDebdutta Pal
I Wanted to Not Want You

Until each infernal trajectory converged

6 min read
avatar✨ Bridget Webber
On Dying and Being Born

Personal experiences and thoughts on life, death, and the afterlife

6 min read
avatarremi ;༊
the art of disappearing

Summer Strike (2022)

2 min read