10 Hints It’s Going To Be a Good Year

Or something like that

Sure, it’s a new year. But here are 10 signs it’s going to be a good year.

10

You’ve only put on five pounds so far.

9

You were able to make the minimum payment on your credit card.

8

You’re due to get a raise — as in a facelift.

7

You’re living the dream…well, nightmare, but still.

6

Someone called you creative. Or was it destructive?

5

You already reached that first goal of getting a lawyer.

4

Your therapist hasn’t canceled on you yet.

3

Your ex dropped the charges.

2

You can’t have any less jobs.

1

One vice down, four to go.