10 Habits Found in Happy People

Internalizing happiness in baby steps

I’m no happiness coach, but I’ve spent a lot of time working with vulnerable people across a variety of contexts, whether it was as a peer supporter, a crisis responder, or even as a counseling psychology graduate student. Along the way, bits and pieces have helped me to continue helping others, even when most people would often throw in the towel.

Happiness is often what we make it out to be. Some of us are constantly in a state of perpetual anxiety and distress, while others are able to make the most out of their turbulent situations.

While we have a myriad of unfortunate circumstances, the way we react towards these situations will vary from person to person. At the end of the day, when you’re struggling, it is you that ends up having to push forward, and not other people.

I mean sure, other people can cheerlead along the sidelines and give you a momentary can of fuel, but you’re the one that is driving that metaphorical vehicle to the finish line, because it is your life, after all.

Plus, you’ve already gone through so much and you’re still here, all in one piece, so there’s hope for you.

Despite what society tells us, happiness cannot be obtained by superficial means, like buying a fancy watch or a private jet. Sure, it is easier to cry in a private jet versus your used vehicle, but you might still be left with an emotional void that is not going to be filled by all those swanky purchases.

No matter how rich you are, if you don’t have any genuine relationships, then you’re truly powering through on your own, which is a lot harder to do than with those cheerleaders.

For example, a research study identified that compulsive shopping could be a surprising sign of depression, where people attempt to fill gaps in self-esteem, emotion, and control, triggering amplified anxiety and guilt afterward.

While this all sounds pretty bleak, relationships are often a great supportive factor in reducing the full-scale manifestation of anxiety and depression. Think of it this way — it’s better to pad yourself around people who think in positive ways, where reaching the finish line is much easier.

1. Happy People Set Clear Goals and Aspirations

Positive thinkers follow their dreams, even when the critics say otherwise. Time and time again, we hear stories of successful people who were almost rejected from their craft but became formidable forces in history despite the initial uproar from critics.

They know that what they want might not be easy, but they power through with their plans they are guided by their goals. They have a clear idea of how to get to their desired goal.

Along the journey, positive people make many friends and inspire others. They are authentic and genuine, and ready to take on the world. They help you feel a sense of calm when the times are tough, even when they have their own problems to deal with.

2. Happy People are Generally Kind

Happy people rarely gossip, judge, or are rude towards others. From time to time, even the best of us might fall prey to some kind of drama, white lie, or a momentary lapse of weakness.

I mean, we are not perfect.

Sometimes, we might turn a blind eye towards others because we’re too busy dealing with our own problems. While we tend to the bitter seas, we might accidentally come across as unintentionally cold-hearted.

Plus, it’s not terrible to take care of our own needs — if we cannot save ourselves, how are we supposed to help others do the same? Yet, happy people make it somehow work. Over a long period of time, they’ve perfected their self-management routines to the point that they can help others on standby.

3. Happy People Can Forgive Others

Happy people understand that we are not perfect. It is possible that we may throw symbolic stones at people who do the very things that we do not agree with. By the same token, we might unintentionally do things that potentially harm others as well.

Happy people know this and they are more than willing to forgive others. However, forgiving others is not always easy as it usually takes a long time to deliver a heartfelt apology.

If you need a lot of time to forgive, then that’s okay.

Sometimes the effort of holding a grudge is not healthy and needs to be let go. Happy people reduce their physical tension because they need to and because they know they are not perfect either.

4. Happy People Are Super Gracious

Being gracious towards others is not just in our words but in our body language as well. It’s easy to take kindness for granted, but people are not mind-readers and may need verbal or non-verbal encouragement to keep going, even if it’s just a reassuring smile.

Implicitly, politeness encourages others to warm up to you, especially as the days go on.

5. Happy People Deflect Negativity

Generally, happy people are able to deflect negative situations and people like a knight with a full-scale shield. As you can imagine, they are not hostile — they know that people go through stuff and it causes those people to behave in strange ways.

Just as they have their downs, they can appreciate and understand the perspectives of others. Instead of facing them and fighting them off, the enemies slide off. Surprised, the enemies might eventually retreat.

6. Happy People Live for the Moment and Are Driven

Happy people often live in the present and spend little time thinking about the past. They also don’t worry too much about the future but might spend some time creating realistic goals, just so they are successful at their craft.

They might break down the goals into a bunch of smaller pieces and use that to keep going. If their goals make them feel fulfilled, then it will drive them to move forward, and they will meet others along the way who are able to help them, especially when they least expect it.

7. Happy People Harbour Positive Energy

Happy people surround themselves with other people who also make them happy. They likely vibe together really well, but that doesn’t mean that everyone was born magically happy.

Perhaps as the friendships blossomed, each party became stronger, fostering solidarity. Either way, our energies are aligned and flow to the tune of others. If you are surrounded by bad people all the time, parts of that darkness will seep into you, so try to avoid those bad people, if you can.

8. Happy People Love Themselves

Happy people internalize and believe that they are worth just as much as the next person. I mean, we’re all equal in the grand scheme of things, so it makes sense to love oneself before loving others.

If you can appreciate you for you, then it will be much easier for others to appreciate you also. Happy people do not have to rely on the approval of others to validate themselves.

They know that they are worth millions, just like everyone else, and people can feel that prowess, especially when interacting with them.

9. Happy People Accept Reality

Happy people don’t always agree with everything that a person has to say but can appreciate other perspectives and the ways people reach a specific point. Happy people live onward, despite the naysayers.

They are often at peace, even when presented with circumstances that cause others to be overwhelmed. They just know how to pace themselves — it came with a lot of practice, but it was definitely worth it in the long-haul.

Accepting others means that know that other kinds of people are out there, but those others cannot take away their power.

10. Happy People Are Authentic

To be truly happy, you have to be genuine about how you feel. We often run on life through autopilot and we assume that our state of being is perfect. However, our beliefs from childhood have changed drastically as adults.

We learned new things along the way, and we will continue to learn more along the way.

In the words of Tom Bodett,

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

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