10 Abstract Things About Me

A Writing Prompt/Challenge

Good morning everyone. I guess good afternoon, good evening, and good night to whoever is reading this at different parts of the day.

Today I will be doing a writing prompt challenge that will help you learn more about me. While I do already have an “About Me” blog I was challenged by Melissa Gray and I don’t ever turn down a challenge. Also, these questions weren’t answered in my previous Q&A blog.

Here is the challenge post from Melissa that I was challenged in:

So with all the formalities out of the way, let’s dive into it.

What Is Your Favorite Drink?

Alright, I’m going to break this down into two categories. The first being hot beverages and the second being cold beverages.

My favorite hot beverage will always and forever be coffee. I’m drinking some right now as a matter of fact. I need it to get the brain to start moving forward. It’s a lot like starting a car to let it warm up in cold temperatures. Without it, I’m completely useless.

My favorite cold beverage is Sweet Tea. After I’ve drunk my coffee for the morning I switch over to Sweet Tea. My mom used to make the best sweet tea. She would get a huge pickle jar, mix everything together, and let it sit on the porch for a few days in the summer.

Honestly, I drink so much sweet tea I wouldn’t be surprised if it has replaced the blood that runs through my veins. (Fun Fact: I just had Deja Vu while writing this. Kinda spooky)

What Is Your Favorite Color?

Is plaid a color?

Seriously though I love plaid. I know it’s a pattern that can come in a variety of colors but I don’t even care what color it is as long as it’s plaid.

Okay, if I had to choose one color I would say blue. It matches my eyes and I get all kinds of compliments when I wear it. “Oh, your eyes are so pretty! They are such a deep blue!” Thank you, now stop staring into my soul and tell me how much you love my writing.

If You Were To Win The Lottery, What Are The Top Three Things You Would Do First?

This question didn’t give me an amount to work with so I’m just going to assume it’s the same amount as the Powerball lottery amount from a few weeks ago.

The first thing I would do is fall to my knees and look like this young lady. I would scream to the heavens, “ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!!!!”. Then I would probably start crying because I don’t ever win anything. I’m always the guy that claps for the guy that wins the raffle as I tear up my ticket.

After collecting my earnings and slapping myself multiple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, I would start looking for property. The more secluded the better. Honestly, I would look in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Sure, they get a lot of snow but that just means fewer people would be around.

Then I would build a cabin there with the lumber mill I bought. I would install an 8-foot-high perimeter fence around the property to make sure my dogs wouldn’t take off into the wilderness. Then I would build an underground bunker and stock it with a year's supply of coffee and sweet tea.

I’m pretty sure that was more than three things but fuck it. It’s my blog, I can break the rules.

What Is Your Favorite Cuisine?

Is cuisine a fancy word for food? Are you asking me what my favorite food is or what my favorite fancy food is? I’m going to change this question to something better.

“If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?”

I would ask for a 20oz ribeye steak cooked medium rare that is smothered in garlic butter. My sides would be a loaded baked potato with asparagus. Then I would get an entire cheesecake, a peanut butter pie, and a tub of ice cream from Culver’s. I would eat it all and I wouldn’t even feel guilty about it. It is my last meal after all.

I would just hope my impending heart attack would get me before the electric chair does. I would hate to see the devastation that occurs after my bowls evacuate themselves during death.

Would You Give Up Your Phone Or Social Media Forever?

I just got the newest iPhone earlier this year since it was a cheaper payment than the one I had. I would hate to give that up so soon.

Does Medium count as a form of social media? If so, that makes this question a lot harder. I’m just going to say it’s not because I don’t want to lose my Medium friends I’ve made here.

I would give up social media for sure. I already don’t have a Facebook, so it wouldn’t be that hard of a transition. I could always use my phone to call or text the people that are important to me. Fuck social media. It’s a bunch of whiny bitches on there anyway. I even wrote a blog about it.

What Is One Thing You Are Really Good At?

Nothing.

I’m not really good at anything.

That’s the problem with being a jack of all trades, I’m a master of none.

I’m mediocre at a lot of things, including writing. I just don’t see myself really good at any one thing. I’m the same way when it comes to playing instruments. I can play a large variety of instruments including the theremin but I’m not good enough to call myself a master.

Maybe one day I can come back to this question and be able to proclaim the one thing I’m really good at. For now, It’s nothing.

Do You Like Dogs Or Cats More?

Dogs.

Dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs.

Dogs.

I have three dogs and I love the snot out of them. They are full of so much character and are such a big help around the farm. They are also big cuddle bugs.

I hate cats. While I know some people do and I can see how low-maintenance they are I would never trade in my dogs for cats. We have a bunch of feral cats that live around here and sometimes they kill some of my livestock (Geese, turkeys). We don’t have any chickens around anymore because of the Great Coon Slaughter of 2020 but when they were around it wasn’t uncommon to find them murdered by cats.

They also get into my heat ducts and cause serious damage. I wrote a blog about it a while ago.

Are You A Coffee Drinker?

Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!

Like I said, it’s my favorite hot beverage. While I buy off-brands of a lot of things, coffee is one of those things I don’t skimp on. I always buy name-brand Starbucks coffee beans. My brother turned me into a coffee snob.

He had his own coffee roasting business a few years ago, “Winona Roasting Company”. Being his brother I got a free sampler pack. It was all very delicious and I learned so much about coffee and the best way to brew it from him. He’s my go-to coffee expert.

Every time I go to his house I look forward to having some freshly roasted beans and latte art. He even serves it to me in a fancy cup.

What Languages Can You Speak?

English.

I know just about enough Spanish to get me in trouble. Dora The Explorer was my Spanish teacher. Go Diego, Go was there too but I didn’t learn near as much from him. I know how to say all the bad words and “The cat drinks milk.” So if that counts, then I know how to speak Spanish too.

Can You Use Chopsticks?

Yes, I can!

I learned how to use chopsticks in a Chinese buffet in my hometown. The instructions were written on the package they came in. It even had illustrations that were really helpful. I still prefer a fork but in a pinch, I can use chopsticks.

Before I learned how to use chopsticks, I would just stab whatever I was eating with them and shovel it into my mouth.

That Was Fun!

I like doing writing prompts like this. I don’t have to come up with an original, awesome, Shackleford story. I can just follow along with the prompt. It’s nice for days like today when I have a lot going on.

I’m going to go ahead and nominate robin wilding, Brett Jenae Tomlin, Pierce McIntyre, Valerie Spitaels, Jason Provencio, Tai Le Grice, JD Nealey, Cara Marie, and Sarah Higgins.

If you didn’t get tagged and still want to do the prompt/challenge feel free to do so and tag me so I can read it and learn more about you. Don’t get sand in your cooter if I didn’t tag you. If you want to be tagged then comment and like my articles. That’s where I get these names from.

If you got tagged and don’t want to do it, feel free to tell me to fuck off. I’ll take no offense to it.

I look forward to seeing what the rest of you come up with!

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