Summary

The article reevaluates the romantic comedy "You've Got Mail," highlighting its problematic elements, particularly the behavior of the male lead, Joe Fox, and offers a nuanced interpretation of the film's ending.

Abstract

The piece critically examines the 1998 film "You've Got Mail," focusing on the character Joe Fox, who deceives Kathleen Kelly, the female lead, by concealing his dual identity and his role in undermining her family's bookstore. The article delves into the troubling implications of Joe's actions, which many now view as gaslighting. It suggests that despite the film's attempt to redeem Joe through a twist ending, the power dynamics and emotional manipulation at play may leave a lasting sour taste. The author proposes that Kathleen's possible early realization of Joe's true identity could recontextualize her actions and provide her with a degree of agency. However, the article concludes that even with this interpretation, the film's resolution is fraught with issues related to consent and manipulation, ultimately questioning the redemption of Joe Fox.

Opinions

Joe Fox's actions of lying and causing harm to Kathleen Kelly are seen as problematic and akin to gaslighting.
The article acknowledges a twist ending that could imply Kathleen was aware of Joe's true identity earlier than revealed, suggesting she had more agency.
The power imbalance between Joe and Kathleen, and Joe's history of using power to get what he wants, is highlighted as problematic, especially in the context of seeking forgiveness.
The author expresses a conflicted affection for the film, recognizing its issues but also being drawn to its complexity.
The article suggests that the charm of actors Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts allows them to portray characters whose actions might be less forgivable if played by others.
The author reflects on the nature of consent and manipulation, questioning whether the ending of the film can truly be considered a happy one.
The piece concludes with a critical stance on Joe Fox's character, questioning the narrative's attempt to redeem him despite his actions.

Dear Writers: YOU’VE GOT MAIL’S SECRET TWIST ENDING (trying and failing to save a movie about a gaslighting villain)

Join me for our story already in motion.

Joe Fox has fulfilled his plan. After lying endlessly to Kathleen Kelly, after destroying her family’s bookstore business and, as she puts it, harming her in a way no one can ever make right, he wins her heart by gaslighting her into forgiving and falling in love with him—and only then does he tell her he was both Joe Fox and NY152.

It’s an essential part of the movie that several people have reexamined and found problematic in recent years.

And listen, I’m not saying the movie does a good job at overcoming how problematic Joe Fox’s behavior is, but it does have a twist ending that’s easy to miss. I want to hate the movie, I do. Inject that outrage right into my veins!

But for me, the twist ending could change everything.

RE: YOU’VE GOT MAIL’S TWIST ENDING

When Joe tells Kathleen who he is, her response is so soft, it’s easy to miss. Not just the words, but the significance of what she says.

“I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.”

There are (at least) two ways to read this.

One is that she was successfully gaslit. She is merely expressing a desperate fantasy that the man who has caused her the most pain in her life might one day make amends — and her relief that he in fact did so.

Two, however, is that at some point earlier, Kathleen figured it out.

WISHFUL THINKING IS STILL THINKING

In the secret twist ending that’s not so secret, Kathleen knew Joe Fox was also NY152. The whole time we see Joe Fox manipulating her into forgiveness, she is also manipulating him by hiding that she knows who he really is. She’s going along with it for her own reasons.

Is the twist ending enough to save the movie? While it’s true that the twist ending helps me still like the movie, nothing may ever make it possible for me to love it like I once did.

In fact, the more I think about it, I might hate the movie more than ever.

Because, well…you had to know there’d be one final twist.

ONE FINAL TWIST: THE POWER OF JOE FOX NEWS

I can’t stop thinking about the power imbalances inherent to how the ending plays out. Joe Fox is a man not just with power, but a history of using it to get what he wants. He’ll destroy everything a person is and everything they value.

Then he’ll have the balls to come back craving her forgiveness. The arrogance to ask for it without any awareness of how traumatizing her affected her ability to consent to his request. The ego to accept it despite doing not much more than waiting until she was strong enough to give him what he wanted.

Joe Fox holds Kathleen’s hand through the very trauma he caused, and then at the moment she feels healed — FREE — he reveals the truth. She isn’t safe. She never was. Even when he’s making amends, begging forgiveness, wiping away her stunned tears, that journey came from his lies.

At the end of You’ve Got Mail, Joe Fox says listen, I know I lied to you, I know I destroyed you and everything you loved, but if I tell you the truth this one time…won’t you forgive me?

DOES KATHLEEN’S AGENCY ACTUALLY CHANGE ANYTHING?

I don’t know that a single quote from Kathleen could ever resolve anything — “I wanted it to be you so badly” — even if it does highlight a degree of Kathleen’s agency and consent.

The reason Joe revealing himself at the end feels like such a betrayal is because she didn’t consent to this. If he successfully manipulated her, this guy sucks. He forced this happy ending on her. That’s not a happy ending.

I had a small amount of hope once I stopped to think about that line from her. It really does make me love Kathleen more to imagine she figured it out sooner than Joe revealed himself.

But for this twist to uh…twist the significance of Joe’s betrayal, we’d have to take the manipulation one level deeper. I’m sure you’ve heard this joke before.

He knows that she knows, but he knows that she knows that he knows that she knows…

Kathleen knows Joe and NY152 are the same man before he reveals that to her. But the only way this doesn’t redeem Joe beyond the charm of Tom Hanks himself is if Joe ALSO knows that Kathleen already knows.

And at that point, why are we still trying to redeem this guy?

THE JULIA ROBERTS EFFECT

You may as well call this the Tom Hanks effect.

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts can get away with playing characters that almost no one else can get away with playing.

Julia Roberts played a horrifying villain in My Best Friend’s Wedding whose primary goal was to ruin her best friend’s upcoming marriage to the love of his life.

Do you remember how evil Julia’s character was? So evil that the happier she saw her best friend become, the harder she worked to destroy that happiness. And yet we held on until Julia came to her senses. In the end, we allowed her a moment of redemption.

Tom Hanks played a horrifying villain in You’ve Got Mail whose primary goal was to ruin a harmless business rival’s life.

Do you remember how evil Tom’s character was? So evil that when he discovered his business rival was actually the love of his life, he waited until she had lost everything to ask for her forgiveness.

How could she turn him down? By that point, he was all she had left.

THE END

If you enjoyed this article, please go to my Patreon for bonus stuff!

And if you want help telling your own story, please go to Stephenie Edits