avatarAgnes Laurens

Summary

The web content discusses the challenges of being stuck in the past and offers strategies for moving forward, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and seeking support.

Abstract

The article addresses the common experience of being fixated on past events, whether they are positive or negative, and how this can hinder personal growth. It suggests that individuals often cling to past experiences due to difficulty processing new ones or as a coping mechanism against constant negative events. The author, Agnes Laurens, provides several tips for overcoming this fixation, including writing thoughts down, seeking therapy, engaging in enjoyable activities, and taking small steps towards change. The article emphasizes the therapeutic benefits of expressing oneself, the value of professional guidance, and the importance of self-care and gradual progress in healing and personal development.

Opinions

  • The author believes that writing thoughts down can help organize and temporarily set aside one's thoughts, freeing mental space for other activities.
  • Talking to a trusted individual is seen as beneficial for parking one's thoughts and receiving advice or simply being heard.
  • Therapy is recommended as a means to understand oneself and others better, as well as to find solutions to personal issues.
  • Engaging in activities one loves is suggested as a way to find comfort during difficult times and to experience a sense of accomplishment.
  • The author advocates for celebrating small achievements as they contribute significantly to building self-confidence.
  • There is an acknowledgment that neglecting oneself can lead to self-damage, implying the importance of self-care in the process of moving forward.
  • The author's personal experience with therapy is positive, indicating skepticism can be overcome and that therapy can be enlightening.
  • The article implies that different types of therapy may be necessary to address various issues effectively.
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

You’re Still Stuck In The Past But You Can’t Go Back

There are moments in your life that you’re still stuck in the past. No matter if it’s negative or positive.

You’re stuck because you have been through negative events.

You’re stuck in the past because you hold onto amazing things that happened while you are experiencing the opposite at the moment.

Because you don’t know how to react to that new experience, so you’re going to hold on to something positive. When you experienced negative events all the time (maybe a lot), you only think about what happened. You never got out of that.

In both cases, you’re still stuck in the past. But in different ways. How that looks for you, is for you to find out. Find it out to clean your head and make space for other things that matters to you. And feel better.

When you’re stuck in the past, in the first place you don’t know what to do, how to get out of your thoughts, have bad habits and so on. Second of all, you are having bad habits that is a cause from these negative emotions and events. This indicates that there is something you have to change or to think about. There are so many ways you can do this.

What is bothering you? Is it your friend, your spouse, your neighbors? It can be anything.

You’re stuck, but you’ve got the feeling you can’t get out of it. You don’t know how you can get out of it.

Here are some tips to follow:

  1. Write your thoughts
  2. Talk to someone to trust
  3. Go into therapy
  4. Find things you love to do
  5. Take small steps

Write your thoughts

It’s always important to write your thoughts. Just to get it ordered. It also helps as being a therapist. You parked your thoughts for a while. Your brain is getting more space for other things. Like more foom for your work, your hobbies and everything you like.

When you write everything down, you get track of what you are doing, what your thoughts are, how you felt and many more. Even when you don’t have the energy to write it down, just do it. It doesn’t matter where. Find a good app, find a good notebook. Something that comforts you and something that feels safe!

Talk to someone to trust

Like writing, talking your thoughts to someone you trust is important too. You park it somehow. Also, that person could give you some advice or could give you some time to think about it. Or just someone who listens to you. That is what you need as well. Someone who listens to you gives you positive energy. This leads to boost your self-esteem. You see that someone pays attention to you. He or she makes time for you.

What do you feel when someone talks to you?

Go into therapy

What happens — besides talking and writing — is going into therapy. Some people are very skeptic about going into therapy. When I went into therapy, I learned a lot — not only about myself but also about other people and how to look into situations and therefore find solutions.

I also found out what kind of therapist exists. Look what kind of therapy fits your needs. Also, take a different kind of therapies to solve some issues that bother you.

Find things you love to do

When you’re facing very difficult times, find the comfort of all the things you like.

What do you feel if you finished that song on your guitar? How does it feel when you finished your book?

Feel what you feel. Feel what you feel to understand what happens through your body. Write your feelings and thoughts in your diary and when you’re in therapy, talk about it with your therapist. They will place your thoughts well through categories or order it for and with you, so you understand. And they are willing to help.

Take small steps

Every small step is worth celebrating. When you take small steps, you get a big boost in your own confidence.

Read my thoughts

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper, Medium.com. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.

Writing is her passion since childhood. Never had she ever done anything with it until a few months back.

As soon as her Patreon page is ready to be launched, you’ll be the first one who will get notifications when you subscribe to her mailing list.

Self Improvement
Life
Life Lessons
Advice
Productivity
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