Summary

This text is a humorous and insightful commentary on the stress and anxieties experienced by writers seeking success.

Abstract

The writer, who humorously labels themselves as a "penultimate and world-renown expert at experiencing daily writer meltdowns," shares their wisdom about the stress that writers undergo in their pursuit of success. They highlight that unlike the common phrase "dress for success," writers often find themselves working in comfortable attire such as fuzzy slippers and blue jeans or even writing naked. However, they stress that it is not the attire that matters but the quality of work produced. The writer humorously describes the emotional rollercoaster that writers experience, often becoming overly stressed, frustrated, and even despondent when their work doesn't receive the desired attention. They note that writers often stress excessively about their work's success, which can be counterproductive, leading to burnout, frustration, and even mental health issues. The writer emphasizes that writers must learn to do the work without stressing about success and instead focus on improving their craft and enjoying the process.

Opinions

Writers often stress excessively about their work's success, leading to burnout, frustration, and mental health issues.
Writers must learn to do the work without stressing about success and instead focus on improving their craft and enjoying the process.
Writers should not worry about dressing for success, but rather focus on the quality of their work.
The emotional rollercoaster that writers experience can be overwhelming and can lead to despondency and frustration.
Writers should focus on doing the work instead of worrying about the time it takes to achieve success.
Writers should take time to engage in self-care activities such as yoga, walking, and meditation to maintain their mental health.
The writer humorously suggests that writers should engage in activities such as drinking to cope with the stress of writing, but it is not a healthy coping mechanism.

You’re Probably Stressing For Success

Do The Work Not The Time

As the penultimate and quite possibly world-renown expert at experiencing daily writer meltdowns, I am here to share my wisdom with you all. But first, let me just take a sip of water and these five sedatives to stop all these alarm bells jangling in my brain.

Okay, much better. So where were we? Oh, yes.

In a world where we’re all told to dress for success, in a writer’s world, it’s all about fuzzy slippers, a T-shirt and blue jeans, or writing naked.

Hey, it happens on the days we don’t Zoom, right? No? Hmm, can’t be just me.

The point is, whatever the dress de jour, we writers don’t dress for success. And because we just can’t seem to live in a world without cryptic analogies of some kind, we choose to stress for success instead of attempting to dress for success.

Yes, we stress for success.

And most days, it dries us totally mad. I’m talking running through the streets wearing nothing but two masks and a pair of surgical gloves, four masks if you’re female, and shrieking in our loudest voices, mad.

“They just won’t read my d*mn work. What the h*ll is wrong with those peasants? I’m never going to be able to purchase my sixty-foot yacht, my Lamborghini and those pool people to tend a pool I haven’t bought yet. I think I’m going insane.”

We hammer out words like an assault rifle on full auto, all the while thinking to ourselves, “they’re not going to read it, they’re not going to read it, d*mmit, they’re not reading it, they’re not reading it.”

And when one or even a handful of readers actually read our work, we break down into tears of joy, become blubbering puddles of goo because we stressed so much about success a single read is just like winning the lotto.

Except it isn’t, and we immediately turn on the stress machine and start that sh*t all over again.

Truth be told, a lot of us begin stressing out about the fact we’re stressing for success. Talk about a vicious cyclical experiment into a freaky week, month, or year. And we tell ourselves we have to stop, we have to find a way to stop stressing for success. We have to find a way to convince ourselves it’s going to take time. With patience and perseverance, we will one day achieve whatever our perception of success is.

And we wonder why we can’t just be normal? Really? Writers are ordinary people?

Uh, no. We ain’t.

Folks, calm down. You two in the back, stop trying to dial 911 on your cell phones. We’re all a bunch of neurotic writers. Do you honestly think the first responders have time for us with all the sh*t going on right now? Just sit down and breathe.

Yes, that’s the ticket. Okay, so here’s the golden ticket, the magic pill, the silver bullet, the free tickets to Disneyland that oh, by the way, is still shut down.

Stop stressing for success and just do the work and not the time.

******CRICKETS*********

Sigh, oh, for Christ’s sake folks, don’t do the time? As in you can’t do the time if you don’t do the crime?

******ADDITIONAL CRICKETS********

Okay, let’s try it this way. It’s the work we do every day. It’s the planning, the plotting, the outlining, the drafts, the first, second, third, and forth edits. It’s the final edit, the submissions, the rejections. All.Of.That.Is.The.Work.

What I’m talking about is the time we spend beating the sh*t out of ourselves in the free time (some of us have more than others) between all the moments of work.

The times we should be doing Yoga, taking walks with our ten-foot protection curb feelers attached to our belts, meditating, enjoying the solicitude of alone time (not to be confused with lonely time), and my personal favorite, drinking until my eyes glaze over.

The point is we should be doing anything except stressing for success. We should do the work, not the time.

I see by all the nods you get it now. Awesome sauce.

And yes, I know how difficult it is, especially when you’re trying to measure your progress, and plan your future with perhaps less than admirable statistics, but stressing out about how dismal they are won’t improve them.

In fact, it will make them worse. As the world-renown expert in stressing for success, I believe I’m imminently qualified to tell you it most certainly will drive you bat-sh*t crazy if you continue down the path.

You have to do the work we all do, but when you do it, and you’re done for the day or the week or whatever cycle you work on, you just have to leave it alone and go about your day.

Don’t continue to pick at the scabs of your last adventure down stressing for success road. You’ll run out of band-aids long before you run out of self-inflicted wounds, trust me.

So, here I am at the end of my day. And I feel pretty good about the work I’ve done today, but if I let myself start stressing for success, I’m sure to become a raving loon in about sixty seconds flat.

Humm, that’s about how long it takes me to get upstairs and pour myself a glass of wine.

Peace Out Brother And Sister Writers

P.G.

Thanks So Much For Reading

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