500-WORD RANT #23
Why is Ageism the Last Accepted Prejudice?
We’re all headed the same direction
In 1964, at age twenty-four, Jack Weinberg said, “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Let that be a lesson for you.
At the time he said this, I was a kid and he seemed way too old — I didn’t trust anybody over the age of 18.
I have friends 6–9 years older than me and they feel like a completely different generation I would never trust. That age group includes the Holy Trinity of liars: Agent Orange, Dubya, and Mitt Romney.
On the other hand, I rarely trust people more than 6 years younger than me. Could you blame me? Group members: Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Sean Hannity, and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.
And don’t get me started on millennials.
I don’t even trust people my age, like Lindsay Graham, Rush Limbaugh, and John Roberts.
Being old is more about how others perceive you.
Remember how the cool kid was the one who could buy beer because he looked older?
How many young men grow mustaches or beards in the hopes of looking older so parents and bosses will take them more seriously?
Then suddenly, the outside world thinks we are over the hill and ready to be turned into Soylent Green for the next generation.
Nobody spells the word YOUTH-anasia.
Years ago, before I left middle age, I lost a project because a client wanted a “younger designer’s fresh perspectives.” If you saw the final design they bought, you’d know their hiring decision was total bullshit.
Lazy thinking and poor work habits are character traits, not age-related.
If age is just a number, we need to start using new math.
Roz Warren wrote a funny piece about being old, and asked, “Am I middle-aged? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s unlikely that I’ll live to be 132.”
So how should we define middle age?
Tom Brady played quarterback until the age of 45. Is that the new 25?
My dad played tennis until age 91, drove at 99, and lived to 102. Mathematically, he was in the middle third of his life until 68, two years after Roz says she is undeniably old.
With the traditional age groups, a person could leave middle age at age 59 and be old for the last 40% of their life.
Erik Erickson’s developmental stages provide a more nuanced perspective. If you create or nurture things that will outlast you, you are in psychosocial stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation, which he defines as middle age.
How would this apply to Nola Ochs, the Guinness record holder for graduating college at age 95?
Personally, I’ll stick with the view of our greatest living lyricist:
“Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now…” — Bob Dylan
No matter how you view age, people should mind their own fucking business and let us determine how we make use of the time we have left.
