avatarAnnie Wegner

Summary

The article discusses how everyday activities can contribute to feelings of depression and unhappiness, suggesting that letting go of certain habits can lead to a happier life.

Abstract

The author of the article emphasizes that happiness is influenced by our daily activities and mindset. They argue that by avoiding self-punishment over guilty pleasures, ceasing to lurk on social media, refraining from seeking reasons to be unhappy, not holding on too tightly to possessions or past events, and engaging in meaningful activities instead of mindless phone use, individuals can significantly improve their mental well-being and overall happiness. The article encourages readers to recognize and change these five habits to foster a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Opinions

  • Self-imposed guilt over enjoying so-called "guilty pleasures" is unnecessary and can be detrimental to one's happiness.
  • Monitoring or obsessing over an ex-partner's activities on social media can hinder personal growth and the development of new relationships.
  • Actively seeking out negativity can lead to a pessimistic outlook and potentially alienate friends and family.
  • Clinging to possessions or past events can prevent personal growth and the ability to embrace new experiences.
  • Spending excessive time on phones and social media is often unfulfilling and can detract from creating meaningful memories.
  • Engaging in activities that promote happiness, such as donating to those in need, can provide a fresh perspective and foster gratitude.
  • It is important to focus on the positive aspects of life and to invest time in experiences that contribute to personal growth and happiness.

You’re Not Unhappy, Your Every Day Activities Are Depressing

Can you let these five habits go?

Photo by Валерия Прокопович on Unsplash

Don’t roll your eyes yet; I won’t tell you to stop reading success porn. I find those quite amusing and inspirational. For me, little things crawl under my skin and wedge themselves into my mind. Slowly, eating away at bits of joy in my life.

No, I won’t say it’s because you don’t exercise or let in sunlight. The focus is on activities you do while sitting. Happiness is a state of mind. And we plan what we’ll do with our time a lot. The mere thought of what you’ll do later tonight could tank your mood. Try to avoid these habits to become a happier you.

You’re Punishing Yourself

Guilty pleasures are the best things. It is rather unfortunate we beat ourselves up for enjoying such simple goodies. It’s heartbreaking.

Research suggests we label these things as bad because we lack impulse control around them. Self-control isn’t the only thing to blame, though. Studies say we have more than a moderate amount of indulgences when emotional.

Think about it. Was there ever a time you reached for comfort because you wanted to distract yourself? I once went to the supermarket in a merry mood and skipped the snack aisle. I heard some sad news while at home. To my dismay, there were no chocolate muffins to lift my spirit.

The more you visit a therapist or deal with emotional baggage in another healthy way. The more control you’ll have over cravings. While doing guilty pleasure cleanses, remember happiness comes from other sources.

You may have noticed when your emotions are stable; you, opt for fewer pick-me-up items. The point here is you can have treats without disliking yourself.

When you treat yourself, feel lazy, or procrastinate more than usual, breathe. Make a note of what has recently changed in your life to find the cause of your misaligned emotions. And try to find solutions that suit you.

You Dedicate Time to Lurking

People have a positive or negative impact on our lives, and some are harder to forget. We may say we don’t care what someone is doing, yet the algorithm and our search engines say otherwise. It’s a fact we hate to admit because we know it’s hurting us and research agrees.

Lurkers on Facebook often felt worse about their lives than Likers do. — Psychology Today

Whether you wish your ex well or hope they suffer, you can’t make space for new people and keep tabs on your ex. At least, most people can’t. If you make a habit of spying, it signals to new acquaintances you have lingering feelings. It can even be a red flag that you aren’t ready to commit.

Not only will you miss out on new love experiences, but you’ll probably hurt your mental health while comparing yourself. Instead, dedicate your time to activities that give you joy or benefit your future self. This use of your time aids healing and moving forward with new relationships.

You Look for Reasons to be a Debbie Downer

If you look for reasons to be unhappy, you’ll find them. If you look for reasons to be happy, you’ll find them too.

I’ve met people who could complain about ice cream; that’s a talent because frozen treats are great. Misery is contagious. But not every human will subject themselves to your negative perspective. You could start losing friends or pushing close relatives away.

The clouds of gloom we entertain only affect us because we are the ones in control of the downpour. Letting your mind chose pessimistic event interpretations is like playing sad songs to keep crying.

Instead, smile or smirk once every hour. You’ll know the difference between pretending and making the best of situations. If you can’t bring yourself to smile, try to remember when times were good, make the best of moments, or think of your emotional impact on the person next to you.

You’re Holding on Too Tight

It’s typical to penny pitch when your bank account is below the usual amount. We often set up comfort zones because nothing has changed for a while. If you can’t let go, you can’t grow or expand into new areas. You’ll feel stuck.

Stuck isn’t a good feeling. You know how far you’ve come and where you want to go, yet you can’t move forward. It’s time to let go. When your life feels half empty, consider donating to someone less fortunate. It helps more if you can learn about the improvement your contribution made for the receiver.

Give what you want to receive. If you want happiness, make others happy.-Russell Simmons.

Donating reminds you that things aren’t as bad as it seems. With a refreshed perspective on your problems, you can practice gratitude and focus on what you have.

You’re Spending Your Time on Forgettable Activities

In February 2021, the average American spent 5–6 hours on their phones daily. Between 2019 and 2020, this average American Joe also spent 145 minutes per day on social media. Humans spend a lot of time doing activities they won’t remember in the next five years. It begs the question, how much time are we investing?

Instead of spending time with your phone, make eye contact or hold someone’s hand. For example, invest your time in a book — reading often takes longer than watching a movie.

Do something new and take the time to fall in love with it. Experiences that extend for weeks and months mean more memorable moments. I can still remember some of my high school days. You’ll probably look back fondly on your invested time.

It’s easy to deny happiness. It’s easy to list reasons you shouldn’t feel elated. But for every negative, there’s a positive our world needs balance, or we’ll spin out. Here are the five ways you’re killing your happiness:

1. You’re Punishing Yourself

2. You Dedicate Time to Lurking

3. You Look for Reasons to be a Debbie Downer

4. You’re Holding on Too Tight

5. You’re Spending Your Time on Forgettable Activities

It’s okay to feel down sometimes. I’m not a raging ball of sunshine every day, neither is anyone else. It helps to know your joy stealing habits to get yourself out of a funk.

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