You’re Not Competing, You’re Winning: Advices From The Underground
Follow the path that you’ve built, and you will never be wrong
Kathryn A. LeRoy, Ph.D. is an incredible writer, don’t you think? She’s capable of giving you the power to explore in deep your endless possibilities. But she also revealed me that she is so competitive that sometimes she loses herself looking at the works of other people.
If you had the pleasure of speaking with her or reading one of her latest articles (if not, go read and you’ll understand what I mean), you’ll see a great ability to both entertain and teach you great notions.
While I had the pleasure to give back what she has given me during our conversations, I think that there is a lesson that will be helpful for everyone, me included.
The Viewer’s Hell
While is always a good move to see what other people are doing, you need to sort yourself out as quick as possible. You may think that a little preparation is needed, and I agree, but you need to balance the learning with doing.
That is the only type of advice you need. No one can understand perfectly what is going on in your life and pretend to have the “perfect” solution to your problems.
You are the master of your universe, and you need to give yourself permission to grow. Watching how people who already made it is very exciting and insightful, but you only see the final product all the times.
You won’t never see the struggle and the journey these people made to master their abilities, because you will see a lot of struggle, failures, anxiety, sadness and anger. And we all know negative emotions are not entertaining, and people want good content: they don’t want to know your long life story about endless failures before you succeeded, they want the results and to believe that they can do the same as you did.
But they want to believe, while you want to succeed. Think about all the time you spent as a viewer, feeling excited and hopeful to improve your life. Think to all the motivational videos that charged you, but once finished, the effect lasted like 10 minutes and right after those 10 minutes you felt the same as before.
Motivation won’t lead you to success, watching videos won’t get you where you want to go, building your mindset won’t give you the life you need now.
Action is the key, and whatever thing you are doing now, it is better than nothing.
The Art of Not Giving a F*ck
People say I don’t care, and they’re wrong. That’s why I don’t care about what they say: how can you think like this when the most important things in my life are always safe and I do my best to keep them in this situation?
I cannot tell you to magically start caring and live in peace with yourself. It’s not possible. I’ve been stuck in the “please-everyone-so-people-will-like-you” zone. But it didn’t work: it only made me bitter and resentful.
Accept you are who you are, and that many people will like you and many won’t. This is life, and to live to the fullest, you need to care about only few things:
- Yourself, your mental health and your potential
- Your friends and their mental health
- Your lover or lovers
Three things. You are like a damn cat: you eat, you meet, you reproduce. Overcomplicating your life is what you need to stop. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are aware of the power of simplicity: it’s what makes their companies alive every day.
Let me ask you something, and if you feel it respond to it in the comment section: Do you feel your life is complete when you have done what you wanted to do, when you have good friends and you have someone who loves you?
Well, I do. And I tell you it’s simple. Maybe it’s because I’m 23 and I have a lot of time before I die? I don’t think so. It’s because I’ve seen this life, and I lived it. You may say “yeah, but you don’t have to pay taxes, bills etc. etc.”, and I will say “I did, and it’s not a big deal”.
The problem is that you want to show you are great outside, while nobody cares who you are until you know them. Put this simple reality in your mind: nobody in this world won’t care if you have one dollar or a trillion dollars, but they will blame you like they do know you.
Who’s wrong? You? Or the people who don’t take the time to know you?
Take the time to understand why people are staring an illuminated box containing images and start blaming and shouting to the people inside of it, based on so little information that is ridiculous they actually do it. Understand their pain and suffer, the struggle they are facing and the relief you are giving them when they start pointing you their dirt fingers.
Being judged is a blessing, and not caring is art.
You Win At The Beginning
Inside of you, there are all the answers you need to reach your goal, but you’re still in a position where resources are few and your potential cannot be expressed.
You have to leave your comfort zone, and explore the unknown. That’s the environment where you will grow and become what you want to be. And the first step you make, it’s a winning for yourself.
That is why they say the first step is the hardest: the first step is a win. When you decide to step outside of your known territory and start adding something new, you become new. It’s not a part of you that becomes new, but the whole: you do not become in part confident, you become confident as a whole.
What I’m trying to explain is simple: when you start a journey, within you are growing the seeds of success, and you feel instantly better. Your body will start producing dopamine, rewarding you for the great beginning and motivating you to feel better once you reached another deadline.
Start doing is like the first time you launched from that cliff and then in the water: is so cool.
Your Work>Others’ Work
Many people are more successful than you because they started before you. This is the first reason why you’re not like them: you have a wonderful journey to start. There is nothing such as wonderful as looking back and see where did you start and understand it was a long trip. The magic is not in the end or in the beginning: is in the middle.
The second reason is that you are too stuck in your work and do not connect: very bad! People want to know what do you think of their work, so take a little time every day to read and comment. If money can buy you bread, a word can buy you a friend.
The last reason is because you want instant gratification, and you won’t have it. This game is a lifetime game: if you’re here for money, you will be deluded, but if you’re here to explore your possibilities and develop your writing skills, you will affect your life positively every day, and money will either come or not. But who cares, right?
Three reasons, one solution: focus on your work. Define what is your strategy, your topics, your style, your unique way of seeing the world and work.
Do not care about the stats, care about people. As I said many times, people are the engine of your success, so take the time to talk with them. You will either find a new friend, a collaborator, your next business partner: take in consideration the fortune wheel of communication.
What is cool of people, is that usually they are waiting for someone to rewards them. Even famous people, who arrogantly say they do not care about haters, they are so glad to have a community that talks about them.
Words, when they are going in your direction, can be a powerful tool for your growth. They are the social currency of success, so why excluding communication so much in your world? Take the time to connect and you will be rewarded accordingly (and exceedingly).
Do what others are not doing, and you will gain what others are losing.
Thank you for reading this, I hope you will find it helpful.
For those who don’t know me and are too lazy to check my profile, I’m Francesco Biz, an Italian writer interested in Psyche and Spiritual Evolution, and I welcome you in my journey into beauty and self-acceptance.
Follow me so you won’t miss any story, if not I don’t care and I will continue making my art even without you.