You’re Missing The Most Important Key To Success

Yourself.

My sister’s going away for grad school in a few days.

As I see her packing all of her stuff in boxes, buying her plane ticket, getting her apartment in order, leasing a car, and figuring out her schedule, it just reminds me how much our paths diverged.

I used to be that annoying little sister who’d copy everything she’d do as a way to feel like I had an identity. Now she wants to be an interpreter and I want to be a writer. Funny how that turns out since we had the same dream job when we were kids.

After I thought of that, it made me feel like I’ve already succeeded in life.

No, I’m not a millionaire or a most-searched person on Google. I just feel like I’ve finally found my identity.

That’s the most important key to success. Here’s why.

You can’t succeed at anything if you’re not you.

I used to let everyone’s opinion dictate my identity.

My sister would speak for me when we were little because I was a shy baby that needed help. After she became my mouthpiece, people stopped asking about me and went straight to her. They didn’t care if I had anything going on in my life and it made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

So I started copying everything my sister did down to her mannerisms, to her favorite color, to her college. It wasn’t until I went off on my own that I started to explore myself.

I understand that you’re inspired by someone. My sister’s the best role model I know, but there’s a difference between inspiration and straight-up copying.

I may want her kind heart, her charismatic spirit, and her selfless attitude, but I don’t want to be an interpreter. I can’t be a successful writer because I’m taking the identity of someone who doesn’t want to be a successful writer.

You can’t have success if you don’t have you.

Doing your own thing is still taboo.

It’s crazy how much people are against others following their dreams and not caring about outside influence.

I remember telling my family a couple of years ago that I was majoring in chemistry in college — all the excitement jumped out. Seriously, you’d think they all wanted to go to college with me seeing how much they proudly talked about my current career choice.

Then I changed my major to sociology and said I wanted to be a writer — crickets. They were so bored that you’d think they wanted Jesus to come back when I talked about it. I didn’t care. The old Khadejah two years back would’ve cared, but now that I know who I am, I’ll lay with those crickets all day.

I still feel successful even though I haven’t reached my peak as a writer because I’m staying true to myself while doing it.

What I realized from that is you’ll be even more successful if you’re successful on your terms. You’ll do it in a way that’s so distinctive of you, that you’ll inspire more people to do the same rather than just recycling an old formula.

Final Thoughts

Look at my profile picture. Do I look like a sheep to you (rhetorical question)?

I mean, I do like to play in the meadow, but I’m not a sheep and neither are you. We’re all shepherds with our own direction to go.

I understand if you look at the millionaire or a most-searched person on Google and you want their formula of success. Why wouldn’t you?

But you have something they don’t — yourself. And that’s more than enough. No smoke and mirrors. Y-O-U.

The three golden letters of success.