You’re Losing Your Identity Because You’re Losing Your Passion

A life lesson from all of my failed business ventures.

Have you ever been fed up with yourself?

So fed up that you changed who you are because you’re tired of being disappointed?

So fed up that you’d give up everything you have to remain this fake person you’ve become?

I was there not even three years ago. Saying I lost $1,000 is an understatement considering I lost my identity in the process too. I’m guessing you’re at that point right now.

To help you out, here is a bit of my backstory that led me to rock bottom.

No, I didn’t do drugs or anything wild, I just hated myself beyond belief.

I worked at a crappy movie theater for about two and a half years.

My mom wanted me to get a job at the big age of 17 so she applied for me and I got it. I was the person who ran around sweeping up pools of popcorn and snuck in theaters to check the temperature while simultaneously avoiding spoilers.

Sure, I encountered some employee drama (mostly caused by people who were 25 or older), but I held out in that dump because I had no idea what I wanted to do.

That hell hole taught me one thing: I did not want to be there for 10+ years like those people.

Seventeen is that age where you have to make some sort of life decision. So I stumbled upon some videos of entrepreneurs who resold items on eBay and made good money.

So I started selling eBay items. I lost more money than I gained. I spent over 500 bucks on five pairs of cool Nike shoes I thought would sell in a snap — nothing sold. They’re still in my basement now.

After that, I tried starting my own digital marketing agency. I spent another 500 bucks trying to build websites and pay for Facebook ads with my own money — which is a big no-no if you run an agency.

I got anxious after I failed those business ventures.

The only thing left I could try would be my worst enemy — writing.

You have to conquer the stigma.

Being an author was the dream for me.

Every time I said “I want to be a writer”, my English teacher would pop up behind me and say it’s impossible. She once told my whole class that you’d be lucky to make fifty bucks as an author.

My family never had high hopes for me either.

How could they? I tried writing for a career once already and they laughed. I did almost 500 cold calls every morning for what? A bunch of rejections and cuss-outs.

So I shut myself down.

That’s why I did all of those bullshit business ventures that only lost me money. I got so discouraged about my passion that I gave up on more than just writing. I gave up on myself.

I love to write. Writing is my passion. Writing is a part of me.

If someone cut off both of my hands tomorrow and I couldn’t write anymore…I’m getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. The thought of never writing again scares me to death.

That’s what put me in such a terrible place.

It wasn’t because I was depressed or angry. I felt trapped. Trapped in a world where I couldn’t be myself.

Hold on to what you love to do and never lose sight of it.

I knew from the start I loved to write.

I remember as a kid writing so much during journal times that other kids would give me strange looks. They’d ask me why I wrote so much. I always took my English class beyond serious because I always had this fiery drive to get better at writing.

I always had it in me, but I got so scared of where my life would go along the way, I lost sight of what I loved to do.

I let all the doubters get to me. I let the fear of working at that movie theater until I’m eighty get to me. I let money get to me.

When you have a real passion for something, the feeling it gives you is indescribable. You feel like yourself. You could embarrass yourself doing it and not even care.

Making money without doing what you love is a deadly feeling.

I mean…deadly.

You’ll end up changing yourself and that fucks with your head. You’ll have identity issues and spend the next twenty years trying to figure out who you are when all you had to do was stick to what you love.

I promise if you stay consistent at it for five years, the money will come eventually.

Final Thoughts

Never listen to anyone else about what your passion is.

You define your passion and no one else. It’s yours to find. It’s yours to cultivate. And most importantly, it’s you.

So please, for your mental health, be yourself.

Get my free writing guide that can teach you how to build a writing habit in 90 days or less here.