6 Surprising Reasons Why You Might Have More Fun Sober
Cutting down or giving up on booze doesn’t have to be boring — quite the opposite
Back in 2019, when the world was normal, I did a 30 day stint without booze. I went back to drinking for a while, but as of writing this article, I have one year of sobriety under my belt.
Things I have done since cutting out alcohol (either in that first 30 day period, or since giving up long term):
- Hen party dancing till 3am in a North London club
- Garden parties chatting around the fire until late
- House party at ours where everyone ended up doing shots out of random kitchen appliances (mine were just alcohol-free spirits)
- Work drinks
- Weddings
- Holidays
- Meetups / networking events
Not only that, but here are a list of new hobbies I have actually managed to do that would have not been possible without sobriety:
- I started writing on Medium
- I started a Foundation Psychotherapy course
- I learned how to draw digitally on Procreate via Skillshare.com
Here’s the thing. I’m NOT saying that you can’t do all these things if you’re a drinker. Not at all. Quite a lot of people manage to enjoy a couple of drinks of an evening, and also manage to do fun and interesting things that don’t revolve around booze.
I am happy for those people. Unfortunately, I am not one of them.
What I AM saying is — if you are starting to notice that alcohol is playing too much of a controlling role in your life, feeling like you start things but never finish them because you are too hungover, you don’t trust your own abilities, or that drinking alcohol is pretty much the ONLY HOBBY YOU HAVE — you might have more fun without it.
While there were a myriad of emotions that arose when considering a life without alcohol, I feel like two predominant ones emerged in relation to social events:
- People will find me boring. I will be boring.
- I will be bored.
These are myths perpetuated by the Big Alcohol companies who need you to believe them to continue buying their hard seltzer, bottles of rosé and tequila shots. All alcohol adverts centre around the concept that ‘you need booze to have a bloody good time’.
Here are 7 reasons why this is categorically untrue:
#1: People already like you when you’re not drunk
At work, my colleagues enjoy my mix of empowering leadership, humour, and no nonsense “let’s get the job done”. There have been some projects which met that perfect sweet spot of innovation, teamwork and dedication. They were very fun times.
In the breaks between meetings or heads down at our desks, my colleagues and I used to play a stupid game where one of us would draw a Pokemon character and the others would have to remember the name of it. Or we’d make people drop and do 20 press-ups if they said the word “I”. They were very fun times.
We spent lunches and breakfasts together, talking about books, television, family, holidays. Connecting and sharing. They were very fun times.
My work colleagues spent 8 hours a day with me and enjoyed my company so much that they wanted to hang out with me more after work.
Common thread here? I was not drunk during any of these moments.
I’m not boring without alcohol. And neither are you. You have plenty of evidence to show that you are a fun person to be around when you don’t have a pint in your hand. Why would that change as soon as you enter a building which has the “pub” sign hanging over its doorway?
#2: You’ll probably stay out later. And puke less.
Tiredness. Arguments. Lost items. Blackouts. Vomit. Some of the many not-fun things I encountered on a regular basis when I was drinking.
Since I ditched the drink, I can categorically say that I have experienced none of the above, and instead have experienced:
- More energy for dancing and staying out late
- More reasoned, interesting conversations and deeper connections
- Love, hugs and joy towards people on nights out rather than distrust, anxiety and arguments
As Millie Gooch, a very fun sober person and founder of Sober Girls Society, said in an interview:
“My two biggest reasons for turning down a night out used to be ‘I’ve got no money’ or ‘I don’t want to be hungover.’ Both are excuses that don’t fly anymore. Now, instead of ending my night drunk crying in a toilet with people I’ve just met and then being carried into an Uber, I’m usually the last on a dance floor and instead I drive everyone home.” — Millie Gooch
#3: Hangovers are boring.
Here’s the secret: nothing is more boring than a hangover.
Lying in bed your dirty clothes from last night feeling sick all day= BORING.
Having no energy to go outside or do anything remotely interesting = BORING
Watching a rerun because your brain can’t process any new information = BORING
Feeling so anxious you spend the whole day mulling over what you said and did last night= SUPER BORING.
The biggest gift of sobriety is waking up every weekend morning with a clear head and never having to endure the pain and monotony of a hangover. It truly is bliss.
#4: Actually having hobbies and doing stuff with your time is fun.
Poor Ross from Friends. We all mocked him for having a hobby (science) that wasn’t just sitting around in a coffee shop reading magazines. In reality, he had it right — it’s not boring to care about stuff and learn new things and have hobbies.
Learning a new skill = NOT BORING
Having the energy on a weekend to go outside and do stuff = NOT BORING
Achieving cool things that you couldn’t do before because you were too hungover = NOT BORING
Liking yourself enough to take care of your body and brain and actually do things that nourish you: A BIT BORING (but who gives an f?)
Back the hangover point. Never having a hangover means never having an excuse not to try new stuff. As I mentioned before, the ONLY reason I was able to learn new skills and try fun things is because I wasn’t exhausted and sick with a hangover at the weekends.
#5: You’ll like yourself more, and that is a really fun feeling.
This is a sappy one, but bear with me. If you feel like alcohol has become a problem and is the one in control of your life, kicking the booze means you are fighting back. You’re putting yourself first. Your real, true self who wants to be looked after. You’re looking after your body, brain and emotional wellbeing by cutting out a toxic relationship. Which means you end up liking and respecting yourself more — and that’s a really nice feeling.
Plus, there’s a whole thing called the “Pink Cloud” phenomenon which is basically where you have a natural high lasting weeks or months when you cut out an addictive substance like alcohol. Trust me, it’s a real thing — and it feels great.
#6: You might be bored temporarily, but that’s ok.
Warning— massive myth incoming: Every second of drinking is fun.
WRONG.
We drink and numb it out, but there are a LOT of boring moments in sitting in the pub for 10 hours with the same people chatting sh*t. It’s just we push past it and drink a bit more and it passes.
It’s totally fine if you get a bit bored on a night out once in a while. You have options:
a) Stay, find someone else interesting to talk to, wait it out till the conversation gets interesting again, play a game, let it pass.
b) Leave.
It’s as simple as that. And look — it’s ok to find some events boring that fully centred only around pure drinking. Focus in on the interactions that are happening within the event: the conversations, the games, the sharing. If that’s still boring — go home, watch a cool docco, cook an awesome meal for yourself and go call a pal that isn’t smashed.
Massive caveat to all of the above: it’s not like I don’t miss booze. I definitely do sometimes.
But just like any abusive relationship, if there weren’t some good things about it, you wouldn’t have stayed for so long. It doesn’t mean that it’s worth staying with them long term, or that you’re not better off without them, or that overall, you’re not much happier now that they’re not controlling your life.
VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE: If you want to keep drinking, that’s fine too! Each to their own. I’m not here to judge, and as I said — if you have a healthy relationship with alcohol, then the above might not be relevant. But those of you who want to give up drinking but are afraid to do, just remember — you won’t be boring without alcohol. Most likely, it’ll be quite the opposite.
